Do you try to get a nice seat in a restaurant when out with friends?

[user1471554720]

I have noticed that when I am out with my friend in a restaurant, I always end up facing her and the wall, whereas she is opposite me and can see the other diners and main restaurant behind me.

The restaurant is small and a certain proportion of tables are up against the wall, where one person faces their companion and then the wall.

Once I arrived early and sat with my back to the wall, so I could overlook the main restaurant. She came after and seemed a bit put out about the seat but said nothing.

Do you try and get a good seat when out? Generally I don't esp, if out with a large group. I don't watch seating but if I am out with one or two, and I am always facing them and the wall. I do notice.

2 members of my family always do this,.

There are some people who spend a lot of effort in making sure they are as comfortable as possible, and other people who don't. I'm not talking about people with painful backs, etc, I just mean in general they will make a big hoo hah about being in the right place, being warm enough, not feeling like they've missed out on the best spot, etc. I think it's obvious what I think about that but I must say that some of my best friends are these type of people and although I find this attitude very annoying I love them anyway. It's possible she did think you'd taken the best spot but then she should have said so shouldn't she?! I wouldn't think about it any more.

i know what you mean, some timess the seat by the wll is more comfortable, like a padded bench or something and then its a hard chair opposite and i find im always on the hard chair.

Never been to a restaurant to interact with strangers who are sat at different tables with their friends and family no. I go to chat and eat with the people I'm with, I thought that was normal. Round here it is anyway.

I prefer the seat facing the room, but usually ask whoever I'm with if they have a preference.

My bug bear in restaurants is the waiter offering a table by the doors or toilets or right in front of the kitchen if there are better tables elsewhere. Nope, a want a good table, thank you!

I would usually face the wall or away from people when having a meal

I'm not fussed.

I suppose, if you arrive together, the person who says the whole "table for 2 please", or "We've got a reservation under the name..." gets to the table first, and gets first dibs. In that case I generally go to the table furthest away from where we started, if that makes sense.

If I'm out with older friends or relations, I'll take the least accessible chair. The one in the corner, or by the wall, purely so the other person can get sat down with more ease.

The only other time I really make a point to get in quick and chose a seat is when I'm dining with a large group. I don't want to be stuck on one end. I want to be in the middle, where the action is!

I usually make the reservation😁 but they sometimes get there firsr. Even when we are both there together they, my friend and sister on different occasions, go for the inside seat, looking out over the restaurant.

It is a small bit funny when they are 'off' with me and won't say. I wouldn't mind even if it was 70/30 in favour of them but I always get the 'lesser' seat unless I arrive miles in advance.

With a group, I try to be beside and opposite peopke I know well, who can keep the conversation going. I don't mind having one quiet person near me, but if I have lots, I have to 'carry' the conversation.

I do choose the seat I prefer if I'm there first, unless I'm meeting e.g. an elderly relative who I know would prefer a chair than a banquette for mobility reasons, say. Why would I not? I wouldn't pull my face if someone got the better seat though.

In saying that, I was pretty hacked off after organising every meal out that we had with extended family on holiday, when we were in a really nice seafront restaurant on the last night and I ended up sitting with my back to the view of the bay. I'm pretty sure my husband could tell, but he also had his back to the bay, or he'd probably have swapped with me.

If I'm offered a seat by the bathrooms or in a draft by the door and there are nicer tables, I say "Can we have that table?" to the waiter. But if he says "Sorry, it's booked" or whatever, I wouldn't argue. My gran used to say "Them as don't ask, don't get". Words to live by.

I don't think there's anything particularly entitled or 'princessy' in centring yourself, unless you're actively making someone else's life worse, or imposing your preferences on other people to their detriment. I assume other people also take their own preferences into consideration, and will ask for what they want or need.

Far worse to be one of those craven people-pleasers whose entire attitude to life is 'Don't mind me, I'll just sit here in the dark.' I'm certainly not going to go around an entire group checking whether they're all happy with the table, or hover around until someone else seats themselves first, or do that thing where no one wants to be the first one to order and there's a waiter hovering, just wanting to get on the job!

If you want to defer to anyone else you're with, that's up to you, but don't think other people should engage in the same charade.

I definitely try and get the best table/view in the restaurant (I love window seats with a view) and I love to be in a cushioned bench rather than a chair, but I always offer whoever is with me to choose where to sit first. Usually they're not fussed then I sit where I want.

I was on a UK holiday last week and the waiters always tried to cadge a window seat for me.

I do have quite strong preferences over which seat I sit in. When I am out with my DH I always sit in the seat looking out - he knows this and always offers it to me as he doesn't really care (he says). I try to remember to offer friends the choice of seat and not automatically sit in my preferred spot. But I often forget because I have the habit from being with DH.

I do like to people watch but when I am out with friends I try and pick a seat that I will not have to ask anyone to move or to have to really tuck in their chair if I need to go to the toilets.

Some people a bit fussy about seats others less so.

I don't like to be plonked next to opening doors that may have drafts. Next to the toilets with everyone walking past isn't great either. Dark corners preferred.

Prefer to sit with back to the wall but will tolerate not.

I do think some people use it as a power play, especially when they are being seated by staff. Basically as an opening statement "I'm the customer I'm in charge and am expecting good service". I know someone who always rejects the first choice of seat offered by staff whether they like it or not. I am in two minds whether or not this is reasonable.

I don't care about where I sit and if the person I'm with has a preference they're free to take it.

If I'm the first to the restaurant and have to wait, I will sit facing outwards though, it feels a bit weird to be on your own facing in. Once others are there I don't mind though.

What an odd thing to say.

If I was only interacting with my family and friends, I'd stay at home.

One of the joys of visiting a restaurant is people watching.

"Round here", we are able to have a conversation with the people on our table and also enjoy the ambience of a busy restaurant.

I am a bit picky and if I can I will ask to change tables to one NOT right slap bang in the middle, or next to the kitchen or under a bright light / speaker. I'm quite short and I find banquette seats can often be a bit lower than the chair so I usually prefer the chair, otherwise I'm like a kid at the table, but I'm not a diva about it.

I was quite upset on my birthday recently though when DP had forgotten to specify an upstairs table at my favourite restaurant when booking. The downstairs is a totally different look and vibe and not to my taste. Restaurant was full so couldn't switch and has a long lead time for bookings so didn't want to say we'd come back another night. I wasn't upset with him as such, but it definitely affected my enjoyment of the night.

I don't go out for meals often, so I want a nice experience when out.

I don't want to be that person always giving way to others.

I am the wrong side of 50 with minor hearing difficulties and previous back trouble whereas my sister is 10 years younger. I always give way when out with older people,or people with impairments. I notice that this consideration is not given back to me, so I wondered was I a fool to be so passive.

What an odd thing to say.

It's nice to go to a nice restaurant with friends and family and order nice food and nice drinks without having to watch what other people are doing. Strange thing to say that if you were only going to be with family and friends then you'd stay home.

"Round here", we are able to have a conversation with the people on our table and also enjoy the ambience of a busy restaurant too. That's totally different to being sat watching other people.

Are you Larry David? This is literally an episode from Curb Your Enthusiasm!!

People watching is definitely a thing in restaurants.

Especially with the famous ones, people go there to see and to be seen.

I started reading your message thinking you sound just like my friend, and ended it grateful she's not as bad as you!

Setting aside the hyberbole and exaggeration in your post, and supposing this is a situation between two people (none of this table-seating-arrangement stuff applies when you're in a group as group dynamics tend to take over), "I don't think there's anything particularly entitled or 'princessy' in centring yourself, unless you're actively making someone else's life worse, or imposing your preferences on other people to their detriment" says it all really. You have to be incredibly socially myopic and/or ungenerous to not realise that centering yourself when you're with someone else IS actively making someone else's life worse and it IS imposing your preference on other people which IS detrimental to them (unless they consent to it, as I do with my friend). You are putting the onus on them to to argue with you or object: hardly a friendly thing to do! And what sort of friend would argue anyway? They'd give in, so that you can have what you want (and probably stop going out with you eventually).

The decent thing to do, in my opinion, is what happens with everyone else I ever eat out with: as you're shown the table someone says "any preference?" and the other one says "you go ahead". Takes two seconds, shows consideration, no Mumsnet thread started about it because the other person is made to feel like their preferences matters to their friend as equally important. Neither one is the center of the universe.

If I arrive first I will face outward, to see my friend arrive. Other than that never give it a thought.

Is your friend Larry David? 🤣🤣🤣

I always prefer the softest, most cushioned seat due to tendonitis that makes me feel like I'm sat on concrete. I try to remember to take a memory foam cushion with me though.

She came after and seemed a bit put out about the seat but said nothing.

What did she do?