Inheritance - how to split fairly?

[Noodlewave]

I don't know what's the best thing to do. A great aunt died with no children and has left a reasonable amount to me and DM (roughly £100k each). DM is in her mid-eighties and doesn't really need or want the money, I'm early fifties and have two sisters. To avoid drip feeding, we're all NC with one DSis (DM, me, and other DSis). Great aunt was very close to DM in her childhood but we lived in a different country and I didn't know her very well, I think I'm only a beneficiary because she was my godmother rather than my other DSis.
I'm not sure what to do with this, I think it would be unfair for me to keep it all and not share some of it out and it could cause resentment but no idea how much is appropriate. There's the complication of the non-contact DSis, I wouldn't want to give her anything but could give her share to her DD (that DSis is also NC with).
I suggested to DM that we both give 25% of our share to one DSis and 25% to the DD of the NC DSis, which would leave a quarter of the total to the four of us. DP thinks I'm being overly kind but I've seen inheritance cause so much resentment in families before and while the money is significant, it's not worth falling out over.
I'm a bit better off than my DSis but we are both mortgage free in secure jobs so it's not going to be life changing for either of us whether I keep it all or give half away. It would definitely help our DN.
So WWYD? Keep it all, give half away to family, or something inbetween?

You need to be careful of any inheritance tax implications if your mother dies within 7 years of gifting. I think you could also vary your aunt's will?

Yes you're right about the inheritance tax implications for DM but that's unavoidable. She might not be over the tax threshold?
We can't vary the aunt's will as it is in another country and there are a few other beneficiaries.

I would think it fair for you to keep your 50% share, as it was her wish for her goddaughter.

Up to your mum what she does with her share, but thirds for each of her daughters sounds fair. If she decides to skip a generation, also up to her. I don't know the legalities though.

Keep it and let your mum deal with her daughters. Your godmother wanted it to go to you.

I take your point but how would you feel if your better off Dsis got a windfall through an accident of birth/christening and didn't share any of it?

I think you are very kind, you must be a lovely sister and aunt. Your godmother left the money to you so now it is your money to spend/save/gift as you wish.

If yours and your mothers share is left to you directly (not on a trust) and you are ‘domiciled’ in the UK then you can still do a DoV. The other beneficiaries can do as they wish with their share. It is the tax location of the beneficiary not the deceased that is relevant for a DoV as it concerns the IHT position of the beneficiary varying. Having said that, If yours and your mother’s estates are not likely to be subject to IHT (or potential to be come liable eg through further inheritances) then a DoV may not be necessary in any event.
Was you aunt domiciled in the the Uk? if not where?

Further if your mother does not need or want the money then perhaps just her share could be diverted?

I think you should keep your inheritance because your great aunt wanted you to have and they were her wishes.

OP , as beneficiaries, you and your dm can make a deed of variation to the will and allocate as much of your inheritance as you choose go to anyone individual you choose.

Your mother can't just do what she wants with the money, because should she need residential care at some point, it could be seen as intentional deprivation of assets.

I think you need to leave your mum to sort her own finances if she has capacity.

If you want to split your share then fair enough - is your niece the only member of that generation? It might be awkward if others of that generation see a cousin being rewarded for their mother’s lack of family contact.

Your aunt made her wishes clear in her will so the fairest option is to honour her wishes. If you want to help the rest of your family out, this is your prerogative but has nothing to do with the "fairness" of the inheritance.
I want to leave a portion of my assets to one of my cousins. I have a very specific reason for doing it (which has nothing to do with family drama - we are all very close) and I would be mortified if he felt compelled to share it with his brothers.

Id share it. It sounds like you don’t need it and I wouldn’t want to fall out over money or that my sister feel hurt.

Yes you can do a deed of variation within two years.

Tbh I really wouldn't feel anything other than her good luck. If she gave me some I would feel incredibly grateful, but definitely wouldn't expect it.

Your aunt wanted you to have the money. Suggest your DM leaves her share solely to your sister in her own will? She gets it later, but it gets round the deprivation of assets part - and you fulfil your aunt’s wishes.

If your Great Aunt wanted the money to go to them, she would have left it to them. She didn't.
Your mother is right, you are being overly kind.
Keep it.

Similar happened in my family. DM and my sibling inherited, I didn’t.

I wasn’t in the least bothered as I didn’t know the great aunt in question (neither did my sibling).

However it was her money to do with as she wished and my sibling got lucky. To this day, my sibling doesn’t know that I know they inherited.

This is happening in my family now - my sibling has randomly inherited from an elderly relative whereas I haven't for no logical reason either of us can determine. Relative knew both of us the same, if anything when we were young, I spent much more time with them than my sibling did.

My sibling is adamant it should be shared 50/50 with me - if there had been a reason like they had a closer relationship then it would be different but as it seems totally arbitrary they've said it doesn't feel right to keep it all. I would be happy either way and I've said that, the money has been left to them to do with as they wish, I have no entitlement to it at all and I have no expectation of sharing it.

I was upset initially but not about the money (as we have no idea how much it will be, could be barely anything!), just that for some reason the relative had wanted to remember sibling in their will but not me, and there are some historical family dynamics that made it extra upsetting.

I think it's thoughtful and caring to offer some out. I think also you need to make separate decisions to your DM, so I think you could offer your Dsis and DD of other dsis a portion of your inheritance. I'd say something like 20k each. Then DM does whatever she wants to do, if anything

I think sharing is a great idea OP. Your plan sounds as if it couldn’t be bettered.

I agree with your plan and I think it is the best possible way to avoid ill-feeling

£25k each to your sister, nothing to NC sister.

It is very nice to see somebody so kind and with such good morals when it comes to inheritance. Well done OP. And I think your proposal is a good one.