National Trust visit spoilt by overzealous staff or AIBU?

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Visited a beautiful NT country house today. Huge 17th century house with Capability Brown landscaped parkland. The house has lots of art by Van Dyck - one of my favourite artists and I was really looking forward to spending a couple of hours with DH wandering around in the beautiful spaces enjoying the peace and quiet. However, every time I stopped to look at a painting one of the staff would come up to me and start talking. This happened several times in every room we wandered into. I totally get the enthusiasm and expertise of the staff but I wasn't really interested in hearing about the Civil War etc., I just wanted to enjoy the paintings in peace. We do visit NT properties occasionally but have never found this to be a problem before.
The staff just seemed to be unable to read my body language as I was trying to walk away or indicate that I didn't want to talk or listen to them by not responding or engaging with them. Short of telling them to shut up it was impossible.
It was a very quiet day with not many visitors so they were probably bored but it was way too much for us.
AIBU by being a miserable bugger (I know I'm quite unsociable at times) or should I be allowed to wander round in peace? Perhaps they should give out 'don't talk to me' badges with the tickets if you want to be left in peace!

I mostly visit these places with a friend whose knowledge of history, architecture and art is pretty spectacular. Many's the time I have doubled back to find him talking the volunteer into submission.

Perhaps a quiet day or time should be instigated like in some supermarkets?

Personally, if I were volunteering, I'd far rather a visitor was honest and brought the conversation to a polite close if they were uncomfortable or bored. I would not think it rude at all. Far worse would be the thought of them putting up with the interaction silently like a martyr. Some people find it difficult to read signs of discomfiture in another person and need a little help.

To be fair - they will also have to keep an eye out for people with "sticky fingers" (both literally and figuratively), or those who may damage things unintentionally or otherwise.

I think maybe this is worse when the place is quiet and the volunteers don't feel they have much to do. I imagine many of these places don't get many visitors in February.

But you're right I would feel rude to interrupt and say I don't want to listen to you.

But you were already very rude by not responding or engaging with them when they spoke to you so your argument does not add up.

No ones fault really- some people will enjoy hearing from the volunteers and you didn’t tell them you weren’t one of them. Yes, it would be nice if they were more sensitive to your body language etc but it’s a big ask to expect them to know what you mean if you don’t say it. Meanwhile for all you know they’ve been given feedback that visitors want more info not less.

Next time just say “thanks- I’m enjoying looking round in peace” or something. No need to be rude.

They tend to do it with artworks because the houses are set up as family homes and so don’t have interpretation labels on them. Quite often visitors will be staring at a painting wondering about it and the steward is the only point of information.

Also - they are primarily there exactly as stewards. The main point of their job is not actually interpretation or even visitor welcome. They are there to keep the building and its contents safe, and to ensure that all visitors are kept safe during their visit.

Being knowledgable about the place is a side effect; it just so happens that many volunteers will be absolutely obsessed with the site.

Once you’ve trained them on fire, first aid, evacuation, basic conservation, how to use the radios, break and lunch rotas, visitor flow etc etc is there any time left for body language training?

The NT’s operating model is shocking. Exploiting volunteers in roles that should be paid and valued. Until they radically rethink their model the fact bombing will continue…

I usually use the lie ‘oh I used to work here’ - it tends to cut them off!

This does my head in. I like to drift around taking in the ambiance and imagining what it was like to live there. Having to engage with a stranger feeding me facts that I'll forget kills the experience. I've never been blunt with anyone at NT properties as I assume the most persistent ones are volunteers who are lonely retirees doing it for social interaction. Even so, we're paying customers and they should learn to read the room. I like the suggestion of headphones, but it only works if you're visiting alone.

That poster was horribly ageist. I work at a heritage property (not NT) and I can assure that poster that our volunteers generally lead very busy lives. When we interview, the conversation usually goes something like "I can't volunteer on Tuesdays as I have my granddaughter, Wednesday I have pilates in the morning - afternoon would be ok, Thursday is walking group, Friday morning would be good but I have U3A in the afternoon....." and so on.

If the ageist poster is fortunate, they will live to reach retirement age and will not appreciate being regarded with such contempt l'm sure.

Having said all that, we have a 3 fact rule with our house stewards. If you must engage, only give 3 facts and let the visitor dictate if they want any more information than that. Works well for us. Our reviews are overwhelmingly positive about our house stewards.

I don't know the whole story, but apparently my Grandpa was politely asked to leave his volunteering role at a NT place, years ago, because he talked too much. Bless him, I can well imagine it!

My worst overbearing volunteer experience was at a model railway, where every time we politely said "that's been very interesting, thank you" and moved away, he just kept following us and would not stop talking.

That's a good interjection as well!

I think you are unreasonable to expect people to know your preferences via unspoken body language.

It's not hard to politely say "thank you for your welcomd but I just want to enjoy the paintings in silence please"

I’m the odd one out here. When I visit a NT house I just want to know everything and I am pursuing the guides to ask about who is a photograph, why rooms are set up as they are. Sometimes you are lucky enough to get a guide whose family actually worked on the estate in previous generations and can find out a lot more about the people in the portraits.

My BF was a site manager at several NT properties (until they screwed her over during covid and then promptly made her redundant).

The volunteers were the bane of her life. Some were great but some needed the same things repeating to them over and over again. Volunteering is complex and they come with their own agenda quite often. Some of them would just try and do what they want, it’s hard to discipline them whilst keeping them all on side, because they can’t run without them.

DD and I went to a historic house that was independent last year. The volunteers could see we were chatting and left us alone. One made sure to point something out funny to us in a room though. The talked to other visitors though. It was only a small house, near a city, probably could select better volunteers than a house in the countryside.

Maybe use a sling or baby carrier? It might seem no biggie to leave your pushchair in a public space, but what if there are 20 of them, blocking the veranda or causing a fire escape hazard?

I’ve only had one OTT volunteer and it definitely ruined the experience. I would expect that they might offer a titbit or answer questions. They’re not full on guides.

Wow; ageism is alive and well on Mumsnet that’s for sure!

To get back to the point of the thread, dh, who in reality is quite well versed in British and European history, always catches the eye of a volunteer as they start to move over and says “thanks but I’m just here for the beer” 😀

@EnidSpyton the experience you describe with the guide who lectured at the world’s leading expert resonates with me on all sorts of levels!

I’m an experienced museum guide myself in my spare time as it happens, but I take people who have elected to go on a tour, which is a slightly different kettle of fish from those who just want to enjoy in peace.

I was once interviewed by the (rather fierce) curator at a particular museum and he asked me to describe five objects to see how I did. I picked a particular thing because I really liked it and applied my knowledge to it. I must have passed muster, but I was embarrassed afterwards to realise I’d been talking to the world expert on that particular object! That gave me the humility that your steward also described but, years and years later, I’m also quietly chuffed he found me acceptable!!

The flip side is that I absolutely hate being approached and talked at unless I’m open to it. I have a very strong background in art history and often have better knowledge of the artists etc. so please don’t share your fascinating fact about Reynolds or Gainsborough that I’ve heard 1,000 times before and so on and so forth unless I have joined a guided tour. For me the pleasure is in the looking and the discovery and the fitting in of that work into what I know of the artist or of that period. Unless I sense that you’re a like-minded soul, as can happen with some of the really good ones!

Both reading the room and pitching information in terms of duration and level are both absolutely skills that volunteers should be taught. A visit to Syon House - a long-awaited treat for my elderly mum - was ruined by an over-enthusiastic room steward whom we could not shake off. I would have been more abrupt with him, but she was a gentle soul who forebore rather more than was good for her, and she would have been even more upset had I remonstrated. We extricated ourselves eventually!

I suspect one of the issues with NT or other volunteers is that they are, to a large degree, drawn from a retired teacher demographic. To an extent that’s a transferable skill, but it has to be re-learnt in this context, as they’re not talking to a captive audience who must learn at all costs any more! And I agree with PP that volunteers should not gatekeep or say no for the sake of saying no - it riles me to hear volunteers demanding proof for quite sensitive concessions against organisational policies and so on (age, disability) for example. Again, a lot of that is down to a career in which, often rightly, they’ve had to say NO a lot but in this context it is absolutely NOT a transferable skill!

How much this puts people off coming back should be a matter of concern in a sector still struggling post-Covid and in a CoL crisis.

I thought the CoC volunteers were fab, really good ambassadors for the City and I never had any problems with them being “too helpful”.

@UniqueReader

I mean…if your mum is one of the volunteers who incessantly talks at visitors and doesn’t leave them alone then yes, tell her to stop. If she’s not, then this thread is irrelevant to her so I don’t see the issue 🤷‍♀️

😂😂😂 brilliant!

Think I'll tell my lovely mum who gives up her time to VOLUNTEER as a NT room guide not to bother given the comments on here. Clearly people don't appreciate it and just see the volunteers as 'old with nothing better to do'. I'll remind her to not speak to anyone unless shes spoken too in future.

Well yes - I personally would prefer this. Volunteers who only engage with people who engage with them sounds perfect to me.

As said upthread in defence of the overbearing well meaning volunteers I could ‘use my words’ to tell them I don’t want to hear what that have to say. Equally I could ‘use my words’ when I do want to hear what they have to say - wouldn’t that be better?

And yes, if you’re in a customer facing role, volunteer or not, you should be able to read basic body language. I tend to give them a vague nod and smile and wander off away from whatever’s being explained to me, yet still sometimes they follow and carry on talking.

I actually never saw the OP replying, just thought I’d clear that up for you. The phrase “use your words” is used to be patronising on here, I’ve seen it on many boards used by less than pleasant posters. It is patronising and is often used to belittle posters.

This happened to me last time I visited a NT place. I prefer to just look in peace too but the way they approach you makes it difficult to tell them you want to be left alone without being rude.

I say 'You're so knowledgeable, I could listen to you all day, but I'm afraid I've only got half an hour and want to make sure I see as much as I can, so I'll have to move on now. Thanks so much' - and walk away briskly

Brilliant advice - it should work for all but the most overkeen volunteers!

Interesting comment about the retired teacher demographic - my aunt volunteered at a NT place in Derbyshire and she had been a teacher!