Male friend wants more- I feel bad

[Maybenotbaby]

He's honestly really attractive, much moreso than I am. I feel like he's nicer than me, more going for him and really out of my league, I am surprised he's interested and maybe subconsciously that's why I reject him.
We were good friends,we talked pretty much daily but understandably he has distanced himself a little now as he knows I don't want more.
I do fancy him, I just don't know what it is. He was a little reserved but so was I. I was interested, I just don't know what happened. When we saw each other we could talk for hours, we honestly got on so well.
He really hasn't done anything wrong. The day after we met up he asked me out again but I just didn't feel like it for some reason.
I've been single for such a long time. Honestly never had someone like him interested in me before, we get on so well too.
I'm probably being an idiot but anyway I've turned him down now. I feel like I led him on a little because I used to talk to him so much, even though it was as friends.

Are you worried that if it goes wrong you might lose the friendship? Is the chemistry just not there even if you can see that he is attractive and nice? Are you worried he's 'too good looking' for you? Are you just scared of being in a relationship again?
Whatever the case you've done nothing wrong. Maybe you just need to concentrate on your self esteem?

It sounds like you actually do want more with him but insecurities are holding you back? You fancy him, you can talk to him for hours but it sounds like you got cold feet which is totally understandable if you have been single for a long time. It sounds like he thinks you are interesting and attractive though so maybe you should rethink and have a little more confidence in your self (you seem negative about yourself again understandable but probably completely unnecessary). I also do not think it is wrong that he has pulled back - any friendship where one has said they would like it to be romantic and the other has said they don't would change, and he probably feels embarrassed and awkward now. Wanting space is completely understandable in this situation.

OP, as another poster has said, trust your gut.

Something wasn't right.

There was nothing at all about him which could've put me off, nothing unattractive. I think it is just me.

Not sure why PP are saying he did anything wrong.

You were both chatting, he ended up developing feelings and wanted more. You didn't, so he respected that and moved on. What's wrong with that?

OP if you've changed your mind you may have to accept that ship has sailed. Or alternatively just move on, as he will too.

Is it just your own insecurities that are stopping you dating him? Because it sounds like he's got to know you, fancies you and wants to take things further so he obviously doesn't think he's out of your league.

Seconded!

I’m reading this wondering what your story is for you to have such a downer on yourself. Honestly, OP - I very much doubt others will be thinking he’s out of your league. Even if they do - fuck ‘em - their views are irrelevant.

You know that dating him creates no obligations, right? You know you’re absolutely allowed to go on some dates with him and see where that goes and if you’re still not feeling it you can walk away. That’s absolutely fine.

Only you know how you really feel about him - whether you’re interested or whether you really aren’t. But it sounds like you are. Cast your mind forwards to a year from now. When you’re looking back at this moment, do you think you’re going to be glad you didn’t even give him a chance romantically or do you think you’re going to regret it? I have a hunch you think you’ll regret it and that’s why you’ve posted here. But actually only you know the answer to that.

You should of gone for it! Please dont put yourself down, if he wasn't interested in you as you are he wouldn't of asked! No one is better than anyone else, I think we really need to get out of that mentality! Except you are perfectly imperfect (as is he) and go for it! Xx

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and not all couples are matched the same looks wise to an outsider, but doesn't mean to each other they aren't equally attractive, and very compatible in other ways.

Maybe looks aren't the b all and end all for him, but you do seem like you have low self esteem, so could it actually be you are actually more attractive than you beleive yourself?

Op, obviously likes him but is afraid to enter into a relationship.
Op , you need to work on your low
self esteem before embarking on a relationship with anyone.