To Feel completely done at 2 kids

[SillyYou]

I feel like I am an alien when it comes to this, my second child was a difficult baby and the thought of a third fills me with dread. I never really wanted kids growing up but since having them I have surprised myself how much I love being a mother and I am literally obsessed with them (not too much mind haha)

When I speak to my friends they always say they would love another baby, when I see new-born babies now I do think they are cute but I just see hard work!

Maybe I am not maternal, I just feel completely done and wondered if this was abnormal?

Dont know if my age and my children's age is relevant but I am 33 (sadly almost 34) with a 3 and 6 year old

Other people's family sizes are irrelevant. Two is enough for you and you don't need anyone else's perspective.

Is someone trying to coerce you into having another child?

I would say this is normal. Most people stop at two. Why would you consider having another if you don’t want one?

My gorgeous, now grown 2DC were relatively easy. When the younger one was starting school my friendship group, all SAHMs, sat around talking about what we were going to do with our lives. One friend studied for an MA and I went to uni to train as a teacher. Everyone else had another baby. Honestly, I couldn’t understand them. It was a phase in my life but there had to be other things out there. If we had had more money we might well have had two more but , honestly, I’m grateful I didn’t. I built a career in education that I really enjoyed and everyone benefitted from the new me.

2 children is surely the most common and normal number of children these days?

Why do you feel it’s abnormal?
I can pinpoint the moment I knew I was done having babies and I stopped at two
Doesn’t make me less maternal
I had two none sleeping babies / toddlers and it broke me
it was sensible to stop at two

If you was completely happy and done would you really need to post a thread about it? I would say most people don’t have more than 2 these days?

Other peoples family size is irrelevant. Some people only want 1. Some people want 7. I only ever wanted 2. I have occasional twinges as my girls are tweens now. Theoretically a baby would lovely. But I’d hate being pregnant again. I would struggle with the no sleep, our family dynamics are just right now…… in reality we have all the children we need.

Just everybody I speak to seems to be toying with the idea, I had the 10 year coil put in soon after DS was born as I just knew I would not be doing it again. People look at me strange when I say absolutely no way do I want another child.

My friend is a completely different mum to me, I am quite organised and like to be doing stuff. She would happily sit in the house and let the kids trash it and is so chilled out, I think it depends on that too.

This sounds very familiar to me after 4. I feel done & absolutely happy with my family as it is.

I stopped at one, due to my age but even if I had been younger, I'm not sure I would have had two.

I can care for one on my own, afford to raise one on my own. There are so many mums who have been left holding the babies and had years of struggle as a result.

Never mind the physical damage birth can do.

I don't think yabu at all.

I felt done temporarily after one. She was very hard work. A good three years of hard core sleep deprivation. I then forgot how bad it was and had another 7 years later. Another three years of sleep deprivation. Definitely done now. I love them to pieces but children are exhausting. We have three because we’re blended family but I wouldn’t have had more in other circumstances

Does it really matter? Is anyone holding a gun to your head and forcing you to have another child? If you don’t want another then you don’t want another😆

I have two DC. I would on the one hand love a third because I'd love another newborn and another child to love and all the good bits of having kids.

On the other hand, the impact of another pregnancy/delivery on my mental and physical health makes me not want another. Nor do I want to spend basically two years (pregnancy and a year after) with my reason for being tied to the care of a baby. I don't want the financial impact or the relationship impact for me and DH. I don't want the career impact.

So, two is right for us. I know lots of people who feel the same.

I am not saying this is a negative by the way at all! I am envious at how chilled she is and just takes everything on the chin

I was done at 1, never mind 2. I knew it the moment he was born that I didn't want to go through the mental and physical strain of pregnancy again. Everyone said I'd change my mind. 16 years later, never changed my mind.

DH and I only ever wanted two. After DS2 was born, dh had a vasectomy. I absolutely knew we wouldn't be having any more. I never regretted it.

Of my antenatal group, all but one couple had 2 dc. The one who had 3 wasn't planning to do so.....

I think that sounds completely normal. I always wanted children and always knew I wanted 2. As soon as my 2nd was born, I was like, I AM DONE! Absolutely never had even a little twinkly thought about having a 3rd. In fact, I did have a pregnancy scare - and while I suppose I would have come around to it - the thought of being pregnant filled me with horror. I do not want any more children. I'm very happy with mine and am as maternal as anyone I suppose. But when I was done, I was done, and I knew it.

I have two DC. I would on the one hand love a third because I'd love another newborn and another child to love and all the good bits of having kids

This is the thing that bothers me as I just dont feel this way, the absolute opposite in fact

Practically speaking I am two and through: I’m exhausted, burned out, run ragged, drained, touched out and DONE.

Hormonally speaking every month at ovulation I am taken over by an insane TTC monster who wants newborns newborns newborns, now now now, procreate before it’s too late! (I’m 42.)

I’m perimenopausal and my periods are now 3 weeks apart and I appear to ovulate every second day; it feels like my body is one of those tennis ball practice machines programmed by Wallace and it is just FLINGING eggs every which way, and despite all practical and emotional concerns – we can’t afford another child, we don’t have another bedroom for another child, we don’t have the sleep and energy for another child, we’re stretched thin with no family support and long working hours so are already at our limit in terms of time and attention for the children we do have; I have horrendous pregnancies and would more or less be dead for nine months, not to mention a third C-section would basically end me – the mad urge remains to piss on sticks and fish them from bins to squint at them several thousand times a day. Can’t wait for full meno and an end to the mental madness because I really am done. But also OMG ONE MORE TINY SNUFFLEPIG NEWBORN SOFT HEAD WAHHHH.

Mine are 7/9 and my family is complete.

I sometimes miss MY tiny babies, I wish my 2 could be plump little puppies with wobbly walks and baby voices again for a couple of hours, but I do not want a third and I would not want to be back in the baby days for any longer than 5 hours max 😂

I honestly do not have that feeling about new-borns, yes they are cute and smell good but I do not ever ever want one again :(

I think it’s pretty normal to know when enough is enough, I’m done at 2 and happy with my decision. Yes babies are cute but I love the freedom of getting rid of nappies, sleepless nights, breastfeeding, clinginess, potties etc. My youngest starts school this year and they’re so much more fun now, I love watching them grow into little individuals, playing together and I enjoy our life at the moment. And this is just reflective of me as a person but I simply do not have enough time, patience and attention to give to another child, alongside a busy job, a partner, keeping fit etc. I’m in awe of how parents of larger families manage this but happy I know my own limitations. I also struggled with miscarriages so it’s not even an option for me.

I think once you’re out of the phase it must be hard to go back to it.

It makes sense given that you never overly wanted kids.
Its like how if someone gets a dog when they didn't really yearn to have one, they'll like the dog but aren't likely to go and get 3 more! Or if someone quite enjoys their job but isn't obsessed with it, they'll do their job but not be wanting to stay for overtime.
It's just a difference in level of passion intensity like with anything else people do in life.

Yes but since having them, they have been the best thing that has happened to me, people comment on how much of a good mum I am and I surprised myself on how much I love it, I just do not want another?