To think there's an off/bad vibe out there?

[ARichSeamToMine]

Does the world feel "off"?
Sorry if this seems ranty, I'm really interested in the vote though.

I'm feeling like there's a weird vibe out there.

I live in London, meet a lot of people through work and am not just judging by my circle.

I've been struggling to articulate this.

I'm late 40s and have seen recessions etc before.

Was out in the City tonight and I would say bar and restaurant were busy for a Monday night, so good there. The street I was on had several completely closed offices, pubs and two gyms, which was sad.

I understand that changes in social habits have been affected by working patterns etc.

I just feel there is something else at play

I increasingly find that people are a bit...strange? We saw groups in the bar, who presumably went out together from choice, just gazing at their phones. I was never anti tech but I'm starting to wonder if there is something in the idea that it affects communication skills.

my friend is worried about her dad because he constantly watches videos of fights - this is a TV show in the US now I hear.

I know a lot of people in my age group feel very "meh" and have little enthusiasm for things, but it's not just middle age. I don't think so anyway.

I'm happy if people are happy, but starting to wonder if they are happy. I meet a lot of people who don't want to go out, are up at 5am walking a dog, they take care of themselves with a good diet, often vegan, don't drink alcohol.

I'm not saying any of these things are bad. I can see if the City is reasonably busy on a Monday night, hospitality must be recovering, which is great.

But something out in the world feels off...like people aren't interested in much.

My online creative writing group has almost no posts. The tutor is regularly cancelling workshops and looking to do online only.

I'm in touch with a couple of exes and we are staying friends but they seem to do nothing but gaming. One in particular has no friends and is not bothered.

I might get flamed but I do wonder if men are particularly prone to doing less stuff if they are single.

Again, that is fine if they are happy. But I get this sense that people aren't happy.

Social anxiety seems very much on the rise.

Just curious to know if others get this vibe.

YABU - people are fine and just living life as usual

YANBU - people are losing communication skills and becoming unhappy

"The environment is very different to that where big property crashes happened in the past. "

Yes, people now have debt for multiple aspects of their lives, education, car, travel/holidays, even shopping! AND housing debt is bonkers, off the scale! In past crashes most people had a mortgage as their main or only debt, and council houses were being sold for 15k LOL. This time it is way worse! Obviously you are winding us up, so I am not going to engage any more unless you have some realistic economic ideas to discuss?

You can’t control a crash. Volumes collapse, then some time later prices do.

Its greed and fear, once fear sets in, which isn’t far away, then everyone runs.

as I said, governments can’t control that, and we’re at the end of the stage that they can’t print their way out of it. Increasing rates have put a stop to that.

nope, it’s contraction and recession time I’m afraid.

OP I agree the world is a strange place atm.
Where I'm from people just don't seem to speak to each other anymore for no reason, general chit chat etc, just doesn't happen unless it's with the older generation.
People jump queues as well, happened to me twice the other day when I was with my partner.
Too many cars on the roads, too much traffic. People getting impatient.
People generally wanting more, quicker, whatever it is.
Everything's so expensive as well.

I don't think it's just since lockdown. A lot of the tech that supposedly 'brings us together' just makes it easier to maintain a presence without actually being there in person. Insta, FB, WhatsApp, etc. It's like reality has been replaced with an impression of reality in a way.

I know so many people who post prolifically on social media yet don't do all that much in real life, and plenty of others who I rarely see but still consider 'friends' in the loosest sense when in decades past they'd now have become 'someone I used to know' because I would have no idea what they did last weekend or where they last went on holiday etc without seeing it on social media.

Yes. Its true that I know stuff about acquaintances via social media that I haven't seen for years. Without it I would likely have forgotten their names. I moved away from London 6 years ago and many people I would see occasionally I am only in contact with on social media now. As an older person in my late 60s it does get harder not to become isolated if you don't have extended family. I am lucky as I was a regularly gigging musician for many years, and stil play a few times a year. If it were not for that I would be very much on my own.
Younger people (younger than me at least )don't seem to socialise in quite the same way post covid, but having said that some local bars and clubs do in my town very well and get a younger crowd.

Maybe people stay in simply because they don't have the money to spend after rent/mortgages fuel bills and food.

For some staying in is the new going out it seems.

Sorry to hear about your experiences, those people you regarded as friends do sound very selfish 💐
I wouldn’t be helping them either.
When I was talking about people focusing on their own little family and ignoring others, I didn’t mean people like you. It was more about people like those who didn’t help you when you needed them.

Yeah, I think Covid definitely had an impact but I think there was a gradual shift before that too. Like, I remember reading several times that today's youth are apparently a lot less comfortable speaking on the phone in a work context - I'm not sure if it was from a study but I've defo heard it discussed more than once on here. I can imagine this could well be partly down to social media too. It brings us together in some ways but also alienates in others.

@Deestone

Maybe people stay in simply because they don't have the money to spend after rent/mortgages fuel bills and food.

For some staying in is the new going out it seems.

I wonder if people are so used to socialising involving going out spending money that they've forgotten other ways of doing it? Although, you'd think 2020-21 would have been a reminder! We stayed in - or at least only went to the park or something - an awful lot, but together. Picnic in the park. Friends over for coffee, or a drink in the evening. Perhaps having our social lives banned and then hugely restricted actually made us rebel and cling to what we could? But that has now been forgotten.

IMO, it's having 24hr access to all the bad things that are happening, and the social disconnect from everyone gazing at their phones and not interacting IRL

Life has always been stressful and potentially scary. In the 80s we had the potential for nuclear war, the AIDS epidemic (with no medications!) with all the "don't die from ignorance" ads, IRA bombs in railway stations, high unemployment, the hole in the ozone layer, the miners strike, riots in London and Birmingham...but we weren't constantly confronted by it all. The human race are not evolved to cope with such a rapidly changing situation and constantly being bombarded with information. And social media...all exacerbated by the covid lockdowns and people withdrawing into their own worlds. No surprise so many people are anxious and unhappy.

IMO people have been too used to cheap debt, a 20 year old who can"t speak into a phone in front of other people in the office has never known anything (until now) other than money being basically free (they don`t even use cash money!) for many people of all ages the cost of money going back to historical norms is going to be very shocking indeed, large parts of their lifestyle were funded by cheap debt. The nuclear thing in the 80"s was very scary though, nothing today is going to top that.

I think you’re onto something there. I have friends round to my house for coffee instead of drinking in a coffee shop. We go for walks together. I’m in a book group and we use the library copies so it’s cheap to join in. I volunteer. There’s loads we can do together that doesn’t involve spending but some of us have forgotten, or have grown up in an era and place where meeting friends usually involved spending money.

Should have said this is since covid. Pre covid, I’d meet friends for lunch, at the cinema, bowling etc. all spendy activities.

"Covid" is ancient history, people are not spending because their debt bill just went up at the fastest rate in 40 years.

100% this. Plus more kids than ever starting school who can’t do basic skills, toilet, play
, concentrate etc. People leaving cinemas and theatres like rubbish dumps, can’t tell their kids to shut up while they’re there. Because nobody talks anymore, they don’t even do it when they’re out! Roads full of rubbish, people pushing and barging in supermarkets, cars getting scratched and nobody fesses up, just drive off. Common decency has gone! And it’s not good!

If course, but it was the pandemic that disrupted people’s usual patterns of socialising.

I saw the toilet training thing the other night. Something like 34% parents don't think toilet training is solely their responsibility. Wt actual f? We both worked full time and still managed to toilet train our own kids.

Now I get some kids have difficulties; but it was the 'not their sole responsibility' that got me.

Covid meant more socialising round people's houses. My driest socialising patch was when the kids were little. My overall socialising hasn't changed since covid. Col has made the biggest impact.

I earn decent money. But not enough for regular nights out. Bottle of fizz, couple of cans, snacks at a mate's, with a load of people+ kids+dh and walk home 20quid. Doable.
Night out at pub +food+ babysitter: 100quid and more. Especially if you live somewhere where public transport only goes in 2 directions and stops at 10. Not rural, either.

@Tatumm We still go out. But we also socialise at people's houses because of the COL. We have film nights with friends for example with easy food like oven pizza. It makes for a very cheap fun night.
It was not that long ago really where most people socialised in each others houses rather than in commercial venues. We do not need to pay to meet others.

OMG! I feel like this. I couldn’t have explained it any better. I forced myself to interact more with people but every interaction makes me feel worse. I sense a really horrible vibe coming from them and I’m thinking it was in my head but maybe not

Definitely feeling the vibe after Sunak’s speech. Feels like a concerted attempt to stoke hatred against Muslims. Very scary times.

I read it as to stop the hate, love one another not a bad concept.

I don't especially like Sunak, but I didn't get that at all. The pro-Palestine mob is no friend to Muslims, if I'm honest. Galloway is a shyster of the very worst kind and Corbyn was a disgrace as well. I'm glad that someone is taking anti-Jewish sentiment seriously, because it is all too socially acceptable. If anyone said some of the things about Muslims that are said about Jews there would be uproar.

Yes, but unless you are very young you just go back to what you did before lockdown as soon as the lockdown is lifted, it is like riding a bike, you don`t forget how to sit in a pub with people.

Let’s not get into a Palestine/Israel argument. But can you give examples of what is said about Jews that people don’t dare say about Muslims? Because I can’t think of a thing.

Yes, a lot of people are emanating a very dark low energy these days.