To start a thread about abortion

[Shiv861]

I just thought I would create this thread to get people's opinions on abortion. I understand this is a very sensitive topic but I just wanted to understand the generally opinion of fellow Mumsnetters.

I constantly see posts that say they "could not do it in XYZ situation but don't judge"

Say I found out I was pregnant now for instance, going through a divorce with 2 young children, I knew it would be in their best interests to abort (as early as possible). It would hurt to make that decision obviously but isn't being a mum making decisions based on what is best for your existing children?

I believe that abortion should be as early as possible and as late as necessary.
I believe in a woman’s right to choose.
And that includes the right to decide they don’t want an abortion.

Abortion should be rare, safe and legal, everywhere in the world.

Feel free not to have an abortion if you don’t want one. I will continue to be quietly glad that lobbying and protesting and informing and marching legalised terminations in my country.

Interesting, of all the devoutly Catholic older women (80 and over, my mother’s generation) I spoke to in the run up to the referendum, virtually all said abortion was against their own ethical code, but, crucially, understood that other women felt differently and that in voting to legalise abortion, they were allowing other women a choice.

It's absolutely a woman's choice. I do not judge someone who doesn't feel capable of having a disabled child, a surprise pregnancy etc because their circumstances are different to mine. If I found out I was pregnant (medical miracle ) then my reaction just doesn't compare to a woman with 2 kids whose ex assaulted her.

I am pro-choice and pro-abortion-access, as I think they are a fantastic resource for people who need them, and that to be forced to go through with a pregnancy due to circumstance, financial reasons, coercion, guilt, obligation, whatever reason other than actually wanting to be pregnant, is inhumane and unacceptable.

Anyone should be able to access abortion for any reason. It’s not just for teenagers or victims of crime. It’s for all women who wish not to be pregnant at that time.

And those who do wish to be pregnant also have a right to be.

I believe in bodily autonomy for all people. By people I mean born people. Not foetuses or potential people.

The fact that it is still technically “illegal” and requires 2 doctors to sign off on it is archaic.

I believe in “her body, her choice”. I do not believe in “her body, his choice”. All too often I have seen people men claim that if a man wants the woman to terminate and she doesn’t then he has no responsibility to the child.

I will be teaching my son that if he gets someone pregnant that he has to assume that there will be a baby that he will be responsible for for 18 years.

I am also very angry with the government for the “two child rule”. We are one of the richest countries in the world. Women should be able to terminate for whatever good, bad or indifferent reasons they have. Women should not be put in a position where they feel they have to terminate because they can’t afford a baby.

I am also very angry about the British courts and the fact that they allow themselves to be used by abusive men to continue to abuse their exes through their children.

I’ve voted YABU because only the woman involved understands her circumstances and situation.

Loving friends can help her assess her options, but only she can know what to do.

I know things would have to be extreme before I made that choice. But what I know has nothing to do with anyone else’s situation.

@DrunkenElephant ‘late we necessary’. 40 weeks?

Until you’re in the situation you just don’t know how you’ll feel/respond.

Can you imagine the kind of scenario in which a woman would 40 week abortion would be necessary?

If a woman and her doctor think that's the only option then, yes, that's nobody else's business but theirs.

Let's not start the usual narrative that goes on with these threads where people start suggesting women would have 39 week abortions because they have a holiday to go on or whatever.

I believe abortion is morally wrong but I also think that in some circumstances, it may seem like the best and only option. I'm a libertarian really so I have no interest in judging other people's decisions or arguing the point or trying to change legislation. This is just my own personal view on it and so for me, it's not an option.

Maybe invoke your brain and ask yourself in what circumstances a woman might need such a late termination.

Why do you need to know other mumsnetters opinion on abortion?

Have you ever been in a position where you had to decide whether to terminate a pregnancy @Shiv861 ?

I have and any preconceived ideas you might have about how you would feel about it can go straight out the window. I would never judge a woman for deciding to terminate even though in the end it was something I couldn't do.

No-one has a right to tell a woman what to do with her body and whether someone decides to terminate or continue with a pregnancy is absolutely no-one else's business except hers.

Let's not start the usual narrative that goes on with these threads where people start suggesting women would have 39 week abortions because they have a holiday to go on or whatever.

It's very rare, but there are cases. I remember in the past year, someone linked an article where a married (?) woman aborted a 32-34w fetus due to the father not being her husbands

Regardless, this thread is ridiculous. I don't think it should even be entertained as a legitimate discussion when someone's already pointed out OP's motivation for posting

I've read the first page and many have come back, "my body, my choice"

I agree with that but must add an important factor - As long as it is withing the law of the land,

There are very rare cases of probably everything you can ever think of. That doesn't mean that it's the standard and everyone's going to start doing it for funsies.

My body, my choice.

If you are against abortion then don't have one.

I know quite a few women who have had abortions, all for completely different reasons. One was relatively late term and very very heart breaking for all concerned, but ultimately the best option ( the baby wouldn't have survived).

If you don't want an abortion don't have one. I would have one If I needed one and I wouldn't really care what people thought of me/it.

I don’t have a problem with ending a pregnancy as such. The only grey area for me is the methods and will the baby feel pain as studies have shown it is possible they can as early as 12 weeks although nobody knows for sure. That in itself would be a problem for me if I wanted an abortion. The termination itself as long as I could guarantee it was humane I would be fine with if I wasnt in a position for a baby.

Why do you want to understand the opinion of fellow Mumsnetters?

Opinions will vary widely, as in the general population.

What sort of thread is this and why TF is it in AIBU?

I am pro-choice and believe women should be able to access one safely for whatever reason. No judgement from me.

However, I am not sure if I could have one myself. I found out I was pregnant at 19 and DH and I were on the fence about keeping the pregnancy. I decided I couldn’t go through with it and DD1 is now 10. Have never regretted my decision even for a second. I’m currently pregnant with DC3 which was another unplanned pregnancy. Didn’t even occur to us to consider abortion because we hadn’t ruled out a third. After he’s born though, DH will be getting a vasectomy as we know we’re done. Would I keep another pregnancy if the vasectomy failed? I don’t know. Probably would.

I’ve just had an abortion and it’s broken me. I regret it and I haven’t stopped crying since I did it. Last night I considered getting myself sectioned. I’m not coping.

I hate myself. I didn’t want to do it but I had an abusive ex causing mayhem. I knew he’d make my life and potentially my children’s lives difficult. I considered blocking him but I knew he’d turn up at the house. I told him I wanted to keep it. He knew he was forcing me. He insisted on being there and he flushed it down the toilet. I hate him.

It’s a shame women are offering up distressing stories to indulge this OP.
What opinions are you trying to pry into? Women can either choose to have a kid, or abort. 🤷‍♀️

I believe in the right to choose and made my own choice when I needed to. There are all kinds of reasons to either terminate or not and what's right is what feels right to the woman at the time. It's not something anyone should be telling someone else to do or not.