Anxiety: AIBU to ask what worked for you?

[listlovers]

I was diagnosed with GAD a few years ago. I’m also perimenopausal. I’m on HRT which helped to start with but I think I need to revisit that too. I’ve tried several different SSRIs before and always had terrible side effects so I’m reluctant to try them again, but I can’t go on as I am. This is ruining my life and I’m awful to live with, I feel such rage all the time over the stupidest, tiniest things, everything upsets me, and I’m constantly overthinking and catastrophising (sp). It’s sending me into depression. Life shouldn’t be this hard.
What have you found most helpful for your anxiety?

Honestly, I stumbled on the ADHD adults podcast on Spotify and it all just made sense.

This website has good info and is by the same people as the podcast https://www.adhdadult.uk/

Would recommend in particular episode 1, 8 and 18 for you, but all of them are really helpful.

Good luck and please do let me know if you have any questions, it’s an odd thing to be considering as an adult, especially as there is so much flack for it being trendy!

What I will say is that everyone has their own levels of anxiety, what some can cope with another person might be floored with
like some can still manage to work
others can’t even get out of the house

I’ve had GAD since middle 20’s I’m now 66
At times I’ve managed work (Abiet still anxious) other times I’ve had months off work with crippling anxiety & depression as they go hand in hand .

I managed until menopause @ 53 then all hell let loose
I couldn’t function, went down to 7st

zero appetite and dry heaving as soon as I opened my eyes (if I managed to sleep that was)
I was under the secondary care mh team with a psychiatrist
They changed my AD as I was on the highest for that Med 40mg
That was the worse thing ever ! I thought I was loosing my mind literally, I wanted to be admitted to hospital I was that scared( even thou I’d had anxiety/depression episodes previously, I’d forgotten or this was off the scale)
I couldn’t eat,sleep,my mind was constantly on alert i couldn’t relax even to watch a bit of tv
I DIDNT get dressed, scared to have a shower in case I fainted (which I did do and ambulance called who took me to hospital for checks
I took myself to a@e at least 3 times asking for help only to be sent home. I had thoughts of suicide, that felt so so real it really freaked me out. That was early months of new medication

Much more I could go on about but just wanted you to see different levels I suppose
I have better days sometimes but anxiety is always in the background lurking, I get stressed over sorting things out of my control and lose my shit really easy
So not all gone here, and the thought of trying another med scares the living daylights out of me to put it mildly as the things I’ve read about my med and coming off it is scaryyy

really hope you find what works for you and you can knock it on the head and have an anxiety free life xx

Thank you, I have followed the podcast - I listen to a lot of podcasts to distract me from my own thoughts, so I’ll listen to those. Plenty to think about.

Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry you’ve had such bad experiences. My anxiety is nothing compared to this. I’m glad you’re over the worst.

Mirtazapine really helped me and also propranolol. I really should do more exercise but I'm always to knackered.
I've been reading lots of lighthearted funny books and that is making a difference (Mariyan Keyes btw if reading is your thing) I also have a plan to transform my garden once it gets abit warmer so hopefully that helps too.

Mine was more of a social anxiety in every social situation but I believe it was being caused by repeatedly forcing myself into a work environment that I was highly uncomfortable with. I have since left that job and it feels like an actual weight has been lifted off of me, which over time does seem to be easing my anxiety in most situations. I do still feel that initial fear of a panic attack taking hold at times and I hate that it’s still there but it’s way less than it was before.

When I was still in the horrible job I used to take beta blockers (which I still have in case of emergencies), as well as kalms herbal stuff (which said don’t take with other anxiety medication but I was DESPERATE). I also went for counselling for the first time in my life and I feel like that did start to mentally flick a switch inside. I don’t know if it was a placebo effect of ‘you’ve been for counselling, you don’t get this anymore’ or if my brain actually changed. Serenity by Kevin is the guy’s facebook, he’s meant to be one of the best in the country. Good luck! I don’t think anyone appreciates how completely awful anxiety is until they’re stuck in it

Rolfing, yoga, meditation, therapy

I've been anxious all my life and I'm now peri up to my eyeballs but actually feeling pretty chill for me:
CBT (caveat- really good CBT from a clinical psychologist not CBT-by-numbers)
Exercise
Meditation
Cold showers (I don't have time for swimming)
Magnesium spray
Breathing exercises

My kids are autistic and highly anxious and that has set me wondering whether I might be too. And that maybe it's not my fault - perhaps this is my wiring - there's a weird sort of relief in that.

@listlovers I’m struggling to get out of bed in the morning, even for a little bit of yoga. Yes I have a DD who I love more than life itself, but who needs a LOT of me and I feel like there’s very little left. OH can also be quite emotionally draining as he suffers with anxiety and I’m his only person. I’m running on empty now.

In the kindest way possible, this would seem to be a lot of the problem maybe? That you're giving a lot to other people and not a lot to yourself?

There's only so much we can do and so much we can give without it impacting. In a negative way. In a 'running on empty' way.

And when it gets to that stage, it's just masking the root problem by thinking we need to take tablets or supplements or think we need to do more exercise or eat more healthily or give up alcohol or do a course in relaxation or yoga ......... etc.................. etc .................

Sometimes, we need to listen to OUR needs. If you are the safe anchor for everyone, then where is your safe anchor?

Your husband has someone. Your daughter has someone. Who is your someone? Who is your anchor?

Tablets and therapies can be valuable aids , but they need a foundation to build on.

You need more support in your life than you have at the minute. A friend? A GP? Therapy? Time to yourself to just BE?

Women are great at looking after everyone else ................. and often not so great at looking after themselves. If you had a 'you' in your life to talk to (like your DD does and like your DH does) would you be running on quite so empty?

Hoping you find the answer among all the great - and varied - advice from the wonderful MN wimmen :)