To find people with "funded" lifestyles annoying?

[NoFunNoFrills]

It's probably jealousy and social media and comparison is the thief of joy. However, AIBU to find people who have extravagant lifestyles, paid for by other people, annoying?

I follow a few "influencers" with relatively low follower counts, I wonder how are they affording the house, cars, holidays, designer gear etc. It turns out either a rich older boyfriend is paying for it, or mummy and daddy are. The influencers I find particularly annoying are the ones who seem to flaunt it, and hide the true source of their income.

Example 1: One young lady, it's clear she is dating a much older man, but always hides his face in pictures, and today posted a video of herself buying a rolex. When she's asked what she does for money by followers, she says she has a business but refuses to say what it is. I've followed her for a while (feels like car crash viewing) and 2-3 years ago she was dating some other rich guy and wrote a blog post about dating high earners, and how not to feel bad that you can't buy them presents because you don't earn much, just prepare a picnic. Anyway, I doubt she has built a business that is allowing her to buy porshe, rolex and hermes in 2 years.

Example 2: a few grown adult women on Tattle discussing one influencer, whose dad buys all her stuff (again talking London apartment, channel and hermes bags etc). The Tattlers saying "my dad funds my lifestyle and I'm not ashamed of it"

Sigh.

YABU: who cares how other people are getting money. You live your life and let them live theirs

YANBU: adults who see no need to educate themselves, work on their career and/or pay their own way - but proudly flaunt their lifestyle like they've achieved something/ are the cat who got the cream - are annoying AF

The people I follow are all people who have achieved something in an area that I find interesting (e.g. an olympian competing in a sport I take part in). I can't imagine following an "influencer" whose only achievements are based in social media likes.

I know a fair bit about Influencers as an ex work colleague left to be one and she explained a lot as she had her eyes opened by the industry. Although, I eventually lost touch with her and interest in following her (I'm 57, she's 29 now) sadly the last time I looked her up, she'd migrated to OnlyFans and looked to be doing sex work.

From what she told me, most of it is smoke and mirrors as people seem to blindly accept what they see at face value.

As for the designer labels, it's not uncommon for influencers to buy stuff, take it home and photograph it and then return it a couple of days later. Mayfair was my friend's stomping ground (I do casual work in event so I often used to run into her) while she built up a portfolio of pictures of luxury clubs and bars for the price of a soft drink. Influencers often travel in packs and will take turns taking photographs of each other, seated with a single drink in a fabulous setting. She had some really great interior shots, again looking very high luxury (all wood panel & chrome) that she told me were taken inside the showrooms of the Ralph Lauren homestore on Bond Street.

They'll also go into stores like Prada and photograph themselves with stuff, present it on instagram tagged to appear that they've been paid to advertise in the hope that other brands might contact them for paid partnerships.

Obviously the fake it until you make it mentality can only get you so far (see first paragraph).

What's the motivation for people following accounts that just show shopping, designer stuff and expensive bars? (As described above) How does it work if there's nothing beyond product placement to get people interested?

It's as though people have started voluntarily watching the advert breaks on TV for fun!

You absolutely are. I’ve already taught my preteen kids about the importance of algorithms that lift the spirit instead of robbing the soul.

I love my algorithm. It’s fab. You need to rethink what you’re doing on SM and once you get rid of this crap and instead focus on things that bring you joy you will be set free.

You’re not the only one - I’ve fallen into a similar trap!

I started by following a few very wealthy upper class women I’d been in the same university group as, partly as I knew them a little, also out of curiosity.

Through their accounts I started following a few of their IG influencer friends, who sound just like the people OP describes. They are basically a bunch of 40 year old identikit skinny blond women married to landed upper class types or wealthy businessman types. There’s definitely some 60 year old husbands kept firmly off camera.

As far as I can tell their businesses involve them selling each other expensive tat in some weird circular economy. So Alice sells some fancy tableware to Sophia, who sells some earrings to Rose etc etc.

Written down like that it all sounds so bizarre, but I think I’m now invested in them like an anthropologist watching some remote tribe in a distant country 🤣

The generation above me had their lives mainly paid for due to a family business. It did no one much good. Fights, jealousy, hangers on, gambling, addiction, affairs, narcissism, stealing, vanity projects...it's been a real horrow show. Luckily social media was not around. The wealth and status ultimately has fallen away and you realise how empty it all is. It was more ok in the previous generation which actually produced the value from skill and passion and work. I'm not saying it always has to be this way by any means - every wealthy person doesn't end up like that, far from it - but unearned wealth can easily go badly, even to good people. You know you don't really envy these people because you see the sad aspect that they are fake influencing on social media - that's the car crash element. I get that it's also a bit fascinating though! I found my own family fascinating at one point and I was quite obsessed with stories that followed similar themes like The Great Gatsby. But also I stay far away because it feels so toxic and corrosive.

Yes, you can. You have better things to do, I guarantee it.

If you get with a man for his money, you spend the rest of your life earning it.

But if like me you go with a man without money, you spend the rest of your life not getting paid. 😀

I find these people funny. Just imagine if they suddenly had to fend for themselves and someone turned the money tap off. They'd be trying to smash a tin of food bank beans open with a Hermes bag. They'd be useless.

I can't say it bothers me much.

I quite enjoy living vicariously through wealthy, younger, childfree women 🤣

I don't think they are doing anything (well, other than the influencing part) I wouldn't do if I/my parents were in the same tax bracket.

The only thing I would find troublesome would be if they weren't being upfront about their privilege - if your wealthy partner is buying you a Rolex, just say. I've got my eye on a designer bag that I'm slowly but surely saving up for. If my partner randomly came home with it for me I wouldn't lie about where it came from and claim I'd bought it myself.

Look up I Saw You Coming sketches by Harry Enfield. Really funny and just like how you describe.

Stop following them then.

The lady with the older man sounds like a high end escort/sexual-finance arrangement. Don't believe what you see on SM. Very smoke and mirrors.

So do you hate people flaunting it, or do you hate people with funded lifestyles full stop?

I wouldn't say my lifestyle is extravagant but my dad subsidises my income which has enabled me to pay off my mortgage and work part-time so I can care for him and my disabled daughter.

No one except my DH IRL knows about my financial setup and I certainly wouldn't broadcast it on social media.

A friend of a friend of mine who previously worked a minimum wage job is now married to a wealthy man 30 years her senior - she no longer works and flaunts her lifestyle daily on socials - an endless stream of Prosecco, cruises, 5-star hotels, and designer clothing hauls. She's told me straight up with no shame that her DH's money was the key thing that attracted her to him and that their son is her "insurance policy", much to his adult children's chagrin.

If this is the kind of funded lifestyle that grates, then I agree with you.

Don't you fund them by following them? Even if you are only funding their ego!

These influencers will absolutely be useless after the apocalypse which I fear is where we are heading. I will not be useless neither will my teacher/farmer/ handyman DH or my scientist daughter. My son will have to step up as he is primarily a (very smart) student. Remind yourself spending someone else’s wealth is not a skill. Follow someone else op…

Throughout all time there have been people who don't have to work, independently wealthy people who have inherited wealth, people who marry rich spouses etc etc. If you didn't move in similar circles you probably wouldn't have known them and know anything about their lifestyle or what they spent their money on.
The difference these days is that if those people flaunt their wealth on social media then people like you follow them and feel jealous of them. Why do you bother upsetting yourself by looking at them.
I sometimes look at Instagram but I've never followed anyone like that. I follow a few people who are involved with things I enjoy doing eg gardeners, craftspeople. None of these people flaunt their wealth although some of them are undoubtedly very wealthy, neither do any of them advertise any products apart from what they create themselves.
You could use the time you waste on looking at influencers doing something else instead which would make you feel so much more positive. Maybe read more books, do crosswords, spend time being more creative etc.

I had no idea this was a thing until now. Maybe don't follow self absorbed cretins 🙄

Omg stop! Let me tell you this, i was at a party a few years ago (5-6 years) and my guy friend (self made multiple millionaire) tells me he lends his cars to his other friend who’s a “model” and “influencer” so he can look rich. I really didn’t believe him till I met this model, and this model I’ve seen on tv “dating reality tv shows” talking about being a celebrity and how he’s got nice cars and would take girl out on amazing expensive dates. Cringe

Unfollow.

Who cares

😂😂😂

Reminds me of that Sex and the City episode where that old dude - that wealthy old dude - gifted Samantha all that fabulous jewelry and she thought she could tolerate his “oldness.”
That is, until she saw his flat, flabby, naked old arse. LOL