To think he shouldn't have gone

[Jezzas]

Last night I came down with a sickness bug and was really struggling to keep off the toilet etc. DH had plans to go to a gig for his friends birthday, we have 2 children 1 and 4 and I was struggling so bad I still cant believe he went because apparently he felt obligated.

Did you ask him to stay home?

He asked me if I was ok, I was crying I felt that shit. I told him I wasn't OK and he said any other time he would stay at home but he felt obligated.

That sounds quite selfish. Did you tell him you were not well enough to care for the kids alone? He should have realised but you know what some men are like.
I guess he's gone now. Do you have a mate or family member nearby you could invite round for the evening? I hope you feel better soon.
If he hasn't left yet tell him you are too unwell, unless he miraculously sources a babysitter? Definitely have words with him as it's all very well leaving a sick adult alone but not with 2 small kids.

This was last night not this evening, feeling a lot better today, I caught it off my son as he had it a few days ago.

Honestly, sometimes you just gotta get on with it. If I had tickets for a gig to celebrate a friend's birthday, I wouldn't miss it because my husband had the shits.

Honestly, I mean we all get the shits, I’d expect him to go. Sorry , hopefully you feel better soon/

Me neither.

I agree with this

Hmm, my quote didn’t work.
I agree that he was right to go. I wouldn’t cancel just cos DH had the runs

Given the endless bugs children pass on, I don’t think you can expect partners to endlessly stay home.

The worst bit of sickness bugs pass very quickly.

I wouldn't want the ticket money wasted- if it was a pub drink I'd probably have asked him to reschedule, but not for something he'd have to cancel altogether.

I've limped through a few sickness times with the kids, migraines, flu all sorts so my husband could work. Delivery/ takeaway food services, films all tucked up in bed etc are your friend.

This. Sorry OP.

But it depends doesn’t it. In this case I don’t think the OP’s husband should have gone. If she’s throwing up or having diarrhoea, how is she going to keep a toddler safe if they decide to do something toddlerish? One of mine was able to circumvent every child lock and baby gate known to mankind, and I even had to take them to the toilet with me as they’d have found a creative way to harm themselves and blow up the house otherwise. Plus - stomach bugs make you feel AWFUL. What if OP actually COULDN’T keep awake/upright enough to look after the kids?

Personally I think YANBU, it's almost impossible to look after a 1 and 4 year old when you're on the toilet with a sickness bug. That's if you mean you were genuinely barely able to get off the loo -- sickness bugs like that are horrendous and you need another adult there for the children's safety. Sickness bugs do vary so if it was mild then it's different.

I don’t think he should have gone if you were so unwell and looking after 2 young kids

I wouldn't expect my DP to cancel for that and neither would I feel obliged to cancel if it was him that was poorly.

When you have DC you just have to accept days/evenings like this.

I wouldn't expect to cancel for this too. Sorry hope you feel better today

Maybe so, I was just feeling so sorry for myself as I HATE being sick, cant remember the last time I actually vomited, feeling a lot better today so must have just been a 24 hour thing

I don't think it was unreasonable of him to go. If you were a single parent, or if your husband was at work you would cope, because you have to. In fact, it sounds like you did.

I hope you are feeling better now, having a bad tummy is never nice. Nausea and vomiting is horrible.

Yes I think deep down I agree, we are all different I suppose and I wouldnt have wanted him to struggle so I probably would have stayed at home, then again I think of every excise not to go out these days! haha

How do you think single parents and mothers whose husbands/partners work away cope? It might be difficult, but to say it's almost impossible is ridiculous.

You do what you have to do. There's no point in being precious about it if you don't have a choice.

I wouldn't want or expect my dh to stay in if I had D&V. I would, however, expect him to get the dc ready for bed and fed, etc, before he went. Then, I would bribe the kids with snacks and TV until bedtime.

/he did do this :)

Wow, have to admit I'm surprised at the amount of people saying yabu OP considering the age of your DC. 1 year olds need constant eyes on them (and some 4 year olds too) as they're crawling/learning to walk and get into everything. Older children (or even younger who aren't crawling/walking) is manageable but no 1 year old would accept being stuck in a bathroom with you all evening! Hope you're feeling better

If he got the DC etc. ready for bed like you say then yes, I think you're being a bit unreasonable. It's horrible when you're unwell but there's not really any benefit in him cancelling his plans just to sit by himself while you're on the toilet all night, lol.