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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think he shouldn't have gone

36 replies

Jezzas · 18/02/2024 17:43

Last night I came down with a sickness bug and was really struggling to keep off the toilet etc. DH had plans to go to a gig for his friends birthday, we have 2 children 1 and 4 and I was struggling so bad I still cant believe he went because apparently he felt obligated.

OP posts:

Highlights12 · 18/02/2024 18:37

What time did he go. Wouldnt the kids be in bed of an evening so need limited looking after

myheadisaterribleplace · 18/02/2024 18:59

AnnoyingPopUp · 18/02/2024 18:01

But it depends doesn’t it. In this case I don’t think the OP’s husband should have gone. If she’s throwing up or having diarrhoea, how is she going to keep a toddler safe if they decide to do something toddlerish? One of mine was able to circumvent every child lock and baby gate known to mankind, and I even had to take them to the toilet with me as they’d have found a creative way to harm themselves and blow up the house otherwise. Plus - stomach bugs make you feel AWFUL. What if OP actually COULDN’T keep awake/upright enough to look after the kids?

I agree with this. I'm sorry you were left with 2 little ones when you were feeling so awful x

LilBus · 18/02/2024 19:02

I think yabu but then I’m a lone parent so use to just getting on with it, it’s really not impossible

Lastminutebride · 18/02/2024 19:04

I think it’d depend on how bad the d&v was. I’d say any normal d&v bug then I would t expect him to stay in and I’d just manage as best I could

however I had what I think was food poisoning once and was home alone and had to get my mum to come over as I couldn’t get off the bathroom floor to get the children to school/nursery. I’ve never had sickness like it and every time I stood I was almost fainting. It was horrendous!

rwalker · 18/02/2024 19:04

I would of gone but we’re both on the same page when it comes to things like this
wife would of and has gone out without a backward glance

Fannyfiggs · 18/02/2024 19:17

It depends...

Who was your DH going to see?

We're the kids in bed before he went?

I know you felt shit but did you really need him home?

However...

If it wasn't a band I was massively into I would stay home.

If you needed help putting the kids to bed I would stay home.

If you were really upset and not well I would stay home.

But we're all different and he obviously felt that you were well enough for him to go out.

Maybe he'll get a dose of the shits as karma for leaving you 😂

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 18/02/2024 19:21

Floatinginatincan · 18/02/2024 17:55

Honestly, sometimes you just gotta get on with it. If I had tickets for a gig to celebrate a friend's birthday, I wouldn't miss it because my husband had the shits.

Yeah this is my thoughts too, sorry.
You had the squits, he had gig tickets and it was for a friends birthday -I wouldn't expect him to miss it.

Livelovebehappy · 18/02/2024 20:22

Wouldn’t they be tucked up in bed anyway for the majority of the time he was out?

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 18/02/2024 20:30

He put them to bed. He had tickets for something to celebrate with a friend

I think asking him to stay was unreasonable tbh

They'd be in bed and wouldn't need too much and he'd be back for the early hours

Treehugger22 · 18/02/2024 20:33

I would be upset as well

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 18/02/2024 20:37

This is difficult. I personally think your DH should have stayed at home with your DC being so young and you being sick. It’s not possible to look after a 1yo with your head in the toilet.

We actually had to call my DM in the middle of the night after DD2 gave us all norovirus. DD1 started throwing up but neither DH or I could comfort her as we were both throwing up ourselves. DM had to come over because DD2 was crying and only a toddler at the time. DD1 was luckily old enough for us to call to her with comfort and reassurance.

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