To not visit because of the dog?

[itsadogquestion]

Cross breed which was rescued and meets XL criteria. Very boisterous and jumps up, never fully settles and just skulks round the room, not very well trained and (sometimes) has a growl at you when you go to stroke him, other times seems fine. AIBU to not go round to their house and give the reason why if asked? They do keep away from their DC but claim this is because young DC might wind up the dog rather than the other way around. I can’t help being apprehensive but don’t know if it’s idiotic for an adult to be scared of a dog when nothing bad has ever actually happened with said dog.

The person will also be really defensive if I tell them the reason, but they’ll also be upset if I keep making other excuses. It’s tricky!

Tell them their dog makes you uneasy so you don’t feel relaxed and therefore don’t enjoy visiting them- they can decide whether to do something about it or drop the friendship

Not sure I understand, could you clarify?

Thanks, I might do this. I just feel entirely silly for admitting to be scared of a dog as an adult. It seems unfair to them. It’s the dogs home so I don’t expect them to keep him away or anything, but also don’t want them thinking I am avoiding them for any other reason

These dogs kill and maim adults. Tell this person that you will not visit because of the dog. Owning these animals needs to become completely socially unacceptable.

Absolutely not unreasonable. By all accounts these dogs would be described as soft/daft/loving until one day they switch and rip your throat out. I know there are some that have had shitty lives but I am guessing genetically there is something not right with many of these. Not worth the risk.

Totally reasonable. I’m a big dog fan, but frankly scared of this breed.

This is exactly the pre-scenario to most dog maulings. So YANBU.

What does this mean?

I love dogs and have had dogs all my life, but I’m scared of these dogs. I’m nervous walking my dog because of them and I wouldn’t relax in a house with one.

Also I could be wrong but don’t they sense anxiousness which might make things worse?

I think ‘wind the bobbin’ means that poster thinks the OP is making it up? Dunno.

Anyway, if you think the dog is unpredictable then don’t go, it wouldn’t be a relaxing visit. Someone I know had a very snappy, growly Jack Russell and i avoided it as i had no desire to be on the end of it.

I wouldn't go and I'd tell them why.

My in-laws dog was temperamental, we visited but only if they muzzled the dog while we were there. They wouldn’t try and train it so it was muzzled or we didn’t visit.

I've got two whippets and my SiL won't visit because of them. That's fine as she's scared and I want her to be comfortable.

However, she doesn't seem to want to compromise or work to a solution (only heard from BiL, so can't work out how we could meet) so I don't see her now. She wants them locked up but they would howl the house down and I would be uncomfortable. One has very bad separation anxiety, both would sleep through a visit!

Suggest a compromise or don't go. Don't be uncomfortable, they're probably defensive because they know you have a good point.

I would be very happy to tell someone I don’t want to visit because their dog scares me. Nothing against dogs, have had them in the past, but some dogs are plain frightening.

@Coldupnorth7
what kind of compromise do you think is possible in this situation apart from meeting elsewhere?
it’s a genuine question, my DD is scared of dogs so I wonder what might be appropriate.

It’s a stupid question that doesn’t need answering. So probably fake. What possible answer could anyone give to ‘shall I allow my children around a banned breed whi can rip my child apart in seconds, who has already shown aggression and is not allowed near its own owners children’?

I wouldn't be going round there and I'd tell them why. The dog makes you uneasy. It's really shouldn't come as a shock when the dog growls at you.

I have dogs.

I also have a friend that is scared of all dogs. Mine are just spaniels and quiet, but nevertheless when my friends visit they stay in the utility room/garden and out the way.

Not everyone likes dogs.

Most people who own dogs who have attacked someone say they had no idea their friendly loving pet would ever do that. There's always a first time and no, I wouldn't risk it.
If this person gets offended that's their choice.

Why can't they put the dog in another room. I'm guessing there would be no problem if the dog was a fluffy Pomeranian.

I won't go near any dog that looks like it could eat a child

You couldn't pay me to go in a house that had an XL bully in it, even if it were apparently in another room. I'd have to have a gun to my head.

I'd have no qualms telling somebody that I was too scared to visit. People who choose these dogs know full well that they're terrifying.