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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think my ex-h is a complete ar**hole?

51 replies

squinny101 · 23/03/2008 19:44

I left my ex-husband who was extremely controlling bordering on violent four years ago after five years of systematic mental and emotional abuse. He has a daughter from a previous relationship and a child with me. He has never been a 'great' dad. he has always been extrememly lazy and basically can very rarely be arsed with the whole parenting thing. After two and a half years battling with the CSA I'm finally getting regular maintenance.

My main problem at the moment is this. Whenever he has our son, he never picks up his phone ever. I only have his mobile number as he changed the house number when I moved out. I have got on with my life with my new partner and we have two lovely children together.

I have no idea where i stand legally but he is demanding to take my son away on holiday. I dread this as he does not pick up his phone when his thirty miles away let alone in a whole other country.

Also his 12 year old daughter has just told him she wants nothing more to do with him as he constnatly messes her around (hasn't seen her since Christmas). I found out today that she has started cutting herself over it.

I really dont' want my son around this man when he has a completely negative attitude towards me and women in general. he is constantly fighting with his new girlfriend around my son but if I ever say anything he just tells me to fuck off.

Any advice please?

OP posts:
Triggles · 02/04/2008 14:32

I believe that you can have your child's details flagged so that if someone attempts to get passport (replacement or otherwise) for him, it will be stopped until you can be contacted for verification. It would be a good idea to check into it. I think that if you are not present, he has to have you sign something saying it's ok for him to get a passport - and depending on DS's age, he may need to be present as well. Certainly worth your time to find out what can and can't be done as far as passports are concerned.

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