What age to let oldest DC babysit her younger siblings?

[thirdistheonewiththehairychest]

I'm interested to know what is a reasonable age for a teenager to baby sit for her younger sisters (ages 11 and 6) in the evening from 8-11pm. She would have the phone number of our neighbour in case of emergency. 6yo will pretty much be asleep, 11yo is maybe autistic but adores her older sister.

What age would your teen have to be to allow them to do this?

How old are they

Around 13+ is usually fine but it totally depends on the person and how they relate to the others.

Age is irrelevant- it's about maturity

My 13 year old niece - yes absolutely
My 17 year old nephew - no way.

16/17.

However my eldest is just a few weeks shy of 18 and I wouldn't leave her with the 12 & 16 year at that time and for that duration. That is my children and their temperaments though.

It's up to you as you know them best. It's about more than their age though as they need to be mature enough and able to cope with their siblings especially if anything goes wrong (even something like the younger one starts vomiting). Most are capable by age 16, and certainly by 18 as they are a full grown adult themselves at that age.

I would say 14-15 years old. The 11 year old shouldn't need loads of supervision.

13

Depends on maturity. My friends DD is 12 and would be fine. My own son is 13 and it would be carnage 🫠

You couldn't leave an 18 year old adult with 2 other teens for 3 hours? That's very concerning. My dm and dd used to go out very occasionally for a drink on Saturday night. They were gone 2 hours. My db was probably 15 and I was 10. We would play board games.

15-16 depending on maturity, all kids are different. My DD is so much more mature than her brother 3.5yrs older

I think 15/16.

But I don’t habitually leave my 15 yo to take care of my 10 yo because of their personalities.

My DD started babysitting for my younger DS when she was 17. My 17 year old DS? Not a chance!

Let her babysit as in she wants to or is getting paid to. Or let her babysit as in insist she does?

As above.

It depends on the maturity of your teen, how well they get on, how likely the younger ones are to do something silly / dangerous.

Ours are 16 & 13 and we left them for the first time in the evening a few months ago. They had previously looked after themselves in the day but we had never previously done it for a night out. They sometimes bicker, but are both sensible. Part of the reason for them not being left before in the evening is that grandparents are nearby and always keen to look after them - DCs like spending time with their grandparents too.

Edited for typo

No, I wouldn't. The middle one has autism and has very much a love / hate relationship with the youngest. It wouldn't be fair to her if it was to all kick off. I would for short periods of time or in an emergency type situation, but I don't like doing so.

I'd happily leave her with one of them, just not both together.

Why have you said "let them babysit" like it's something they're desperate to do rather than you wanting to go off out for a while and not having to pay for a proper babysitter?

It was something I was keen to do. I liked the responsibility and I didn't like having a babysitter. I couldn't relax in my own home with a babysitter, I'd just disappear to my room. If I was the babysitter I was downstairs interacting with my siblings.

I think the age gap between the babysitter and the eldest child being looked after is important.
There needs to be sufficient gap for the sitter to have some authority. This often isn't the case with siblings.

In any case I wouldn't use a sitter until I was convinced they could deal with fights between the children, choking incidents, accidents eg child falling downstairs or slipping and banging their head, being able to evacuate in case of fire.

It's all very well having a phone, but some things need an instant reaction.

It's not fair on the sitter to put them in a position of responsibility over others if they are not ready. That has nothing to do with age.

It doesn't depend on 1 child but all 3 and how they interact tbh.

I've worked with 11 year olds who are more switched on than adult colleagues.

What age is the teenager ? 13 too young, 14 probably the same. 15+ should be no bother, if the teen is responsible and is happy yo babysit.

You see if you had mentioned that, i wouldn't have commented. I assumed you had all NT children. Fair enough, I understand that you don't want your eldest child to have to deal with any major issues that might occur.

With just the 11 year old, 14. With both 15-16.

Some kids would be keen for the responsibility and would prefer it to having a babysitter.

I think about 13 feels right to me. But of course it depends on the children

My 17 year old regularly looks after her siblings (4 and 6) and has been for a couple of years. Last week she had them from 4pm-2am as I went to a gig in London.

I started leaving them for an evening when eldest was 14 nd younger two 12 and 7. She had done bedtime for 7 year old a few times before that when I was in zoom meetings, but in the house.