What age to let oldest DC babysit her younger siblings?

[thirdistheonewiththehairychest]

I'm interested to know what is a reasonable age for a teenager to baby sit for her younger sisters (ages 11 and 6) in the evening from 8-11pm. She would have the phone number of our neighbour in case of emergency. 6yo will pretty much be asleep, 11yo is maybe autistic but adores her older sister.

What age would your teen have to be to allow them to do this?

14 if sensible

My eldest was 14 when he started babysitting youngest (who was then 5). This included picking her up from childminder occasionally but more often evening babysitting when she'd be in bed for most of the time we were out. He'd make dinner if needed but something simple like pizza or nuggets/chips.

He was 18 before he did an overnight. It was all fine.

My 15 year old has been babysitting for 11 year old sibling for the last year. We’ve only gone out locally and max 3 hrs but I think we might be ready to venture further soon.

I'm kinda shocked at how many turf the responsibility of caring for their children onto their older children...

I'm sure most would prefer it to having a baby sitter - doesn't mean it's right!

I don't think it's fair to give a 13 yo the responsibility of other people's lives. I know real emergencies are unlikely, but surely it is because they might happen that we use a babysitter in the first place.

I have seen many parents panic at a child choking or more than a drop of blood. I hate to think how a 13yo child could cope with others in the case of fire. How would they deal with the rest of their lives if the worse happened?

I was 17 before I was regularly left with my 14/25 year old brother.

My friend has a 17 year old and a 6 year old, it's only the last year she and her husband have left the older boy to look after the younger girl in the evenings.
I definitely depends on the children though.
Some 14 and 15 years olds are very mature especially these days when they seem to grow up faster.

*14/15

Many older children prefer it to a babysitter or enjoy looking after siblings.

My DD started babysitting her younger sibling at age 16. We pay her if it's more for than an hour!

With a phone and trusted neighbours, I'd go ahead as soon as she was happy to do it.

That depends on your observations of how they are together (sounds positive), and on sussing out whether the younger children might react a bit - might the eleven year old be anxious? Might the six year old play up?

I'd probably set them up to have an unsupervised treat evening (pizza, film, whatever they enjoy) while I was nearby or even upstairs napping as a trial run.

It's a judgement call and depends on the younger children and the teen.

I was a babysitter at 13 and I think I was pretty capable. The parents even paid me to do a first aid course.

I have a young relative who occasionally babysits for us - not because we ask her to but because she asks to, she loves children and currently wants to be a reception teacher. She was 14 when she started to do the odd hour and I think she is very capable. I wouldn't though leave my children with my parents who are much older.

At the end of the day, you have to trust your judgement. I don't think every 13 year old will be capable but that feels like the right age to start thinking about it.

13

I would say 16 at least. Maybe older depending on the siblings . I think it's can be more difficult for teenagers to care for their own siblings than for other people's children.

I agree with this. 13 seems much too young to have that sort of responsibility. I also think its unfair to use an olde child as a babysitter for their younger siblings

Depends on dynamics of kids, as others have said. We started leaving kids home in the evening when oldest was 14, youngest 11. They get on, they both like to go to bed quite early, oldest could cook, they generally looked forward to having an evening together to watch a film at home.

Also depends on the child - some 14 year olds don't like being home without an adult or don't feel comfortable taking responsibility for a sibling.

It sort of happens organically in many ways - the time comes when you just know it isn't worth the faff of getting in a babysitter.

Very much depends on the dynamics.
I have two older db, 9 and 6 years older than me. Left together unsupervised they'd fight. When the were 17 and 14 they were meant to be babysitting me and dsis, but just had a massive physical fight instead. DDad arrived back in time to prevent too much harm. They were never allowed to babysit again.

When people say 13 yr olds are too young to deal with x, I always think they're comparing them to eg John Mcclane or someone. 90 year olds live alone, people with disabilities live alone. I genuinely believe my now 15yo would be better in any emergency than I would be. Unflappable, calm, rational, thinks so quickly on her feet. I would panic. Age is defo just a number for me here.

Because it's something that she would one day like to do for others to earn some money and she would love the experience. I babysat for other people's children from age 14.

Thanks for the responses everyone. Very interesting to hear different perspectives. DD is 13yo. Maybe I'll talk to her about it and see what she thinks.

Honestly, very few will let a 13 or 14 babysit their children. ‘When my children were younger, we sometimes had teenage babysitters - but they were all 16 or 17.

It would depend on eldest child's maturity, how well they get on, are they likely to fight if the younger ones are awake, how far away you will be etc. So many things to consider here. My eldest was almost 16 when we first left him in charge of his 12 year old brother. That was more because his brother is Autistic and they used to fight like crazy.

I used to babysit my 6 year old brother from age 13 (and a few odd hours from age 11) but these days my 13 year old niece wouldn't even be allowed to be at home alone for an hour.

I personally think it's down to maturity, how the children get on with each other, willingness of the child to babysit and having emergency plans in place.

14 if they're all sensible and get along.

I will leave my 13 year old in charge of 10 & 6 year old siblings for up to an hour if we're near by.

I leave 12 year old and 4 year old when I have to pop to the shop, I am literally out of the house for 5-7 minutes depending on queue.

I wouldn't leave them alone for an extended period. I don't know when I would, I know eldest would love the responsibility but isn't mature enough for it. I don't think I ever would.

I started babysitting neighbours kids at 13 but I was 2 doors away from home and my mum was always in. Also I think it makes a difference when you aren't related, more likely to do as they're told maybe?

I was left alone with my dsis when I was 6 and she was 4 (Dad had to go to the pub...) I got told off when he got home because I was trying to make her lunch on the stove (at 2pm when she was crying she was hungry) An extreme example I know but kids are more capable that we give them credit for (not that they should have to be)

12, if sensible and if the younger ones will obey the eldest.

We do pay our eldest (less than we pay an external babysitter but a sum that he agrees is fair considering its minimal inconvenience if he's going to be home anyway) and it is always by agreement. If he said no that would be tough luck for us but fair enough. No babysitting and no payment!

Edited to add: my parents used to just tell me I was babysitting younger sibling. I wasn't asked (and it was tough luck if I had my own plans) and payment was never offered. I felt this was intensely unfair, hence the rather different arrangement we have with our own eldest.