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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend forged her mother's will

219 replies

Beautynamechange · 17/02/2024 01:13

I have recently learnt that my friend who I have known since forever forged her late mother's will.

I don't want to go into too much detail about how I learnt this as it will be too outing.

It was nearly 4 years ago when her mother was most vulnerable on her death bed little over a week before she passed. There was another will put in place for around 20 years before this new will and that previous will was destroyed by my friend. Both wills were made at home.

It has nothing to do with me, but my friend took advantage of her dying mother, and now I feel different towards her because of this. I am supposed to be her bridesmaid at her wedding in a few months and I cannot get past how someone could do that for her own advantage. I have known this friend since nursery. We are both late 20's now.

Is it wrong of me to feel different about my friend? I understand this has nothing to do with me but it's the fact she has done it. How cruel towards her other family members.

OP posts:
Jack80 · 18/02/2024 19:35

My brother in law stole money from an account my eldest brother in law who was the executor of, but the younger one took the money and tried to pin it on the older one because he is a drinker and forgets. My husband was asked by the older one who found a letter to say the account was clear. My husband contacted the bank and was told it was fraud but didn't report him. He just made sure everyone knew what he did. Unfortunately the family think he is great still. My husband wishes he had reported him and so does the eldest brother.

I can't look at him the same now. I wouldn't be able to be friends with your friend.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 18/02/2024 19:38

Umm of course you’d be right to not want to be friends with her! She is an awful, awful human being.

You should report her, seriously, I couldn’t live with it knowing she’s done that. I am assuming you knew her mum and family too growing up? Dob her in!

OhcantthInkofaname · 18/02/2024 19:52

Beautynamechange · 17/02/2024 01:23

Has anyone been able to move past knowing a friend has done this or have been in a similar situation?

Why would you want to get past her doing this? She did this to her own family. How would she betray you?

ORLt · 18/02/2024 19:52

Your friend is a criminal, you are better off cutting all links with her, but I would be careful - if she could do what she did, I would just make sure I make the parting as civil as possible, to avoid being on the receiving end of something similar.

Mrsgreen100 · 18/02/2024 19:57

My mother ( now deceased also ) and brother did the same and forged my father’s signature on a will ,its awful, I now have enough evidence in place to
put my brother in jail
but hell do I need that legal circus
I’ve given myself 6 months to decide what to to, my daughter was due to inherit a large amount of money through building land etc
shes 20 if she was older I’d ask her but can’t
dec what to do right now

Mrspenfold123 · 18/02/2024 20:01

If you telling the truth, go to the police about it. Otherwise you are basically an accessory to fraud. Why didn’t you already do so?

Tworoads · 18/02/2024 20:03

OP hasn’t been on for ages.
Is this real?

Booba3 · 18/02/2024 20:33

I am thinking that if OP doesn’t post soon we all will have wasted lots of time reading this post! 8 pages so far. Come back OP!!

changeme4this · 18/02/2024 20:37

More info needed. Who “lost” out due to her meddling? If it was another sibling or family member, then yes I would be weighing up my morals in keeping her as a friend.

having said that, surely if there were siblings they should have known Mum had a home prepared will? What did they know about the changes or its existence?

however yes this happened to my DH with his sister convincing their mum she needed to distribute assets to her grandchildren on the sisters side and many things went missing from the house as well as funds taken from cash card machines after her death. The sister would not provide the bank statements but rather told everyone that all her brother cared about was money.
Our Solicitor advised us of the cost in taking it to court (he had just had a client do this) and it was a huge amount of money we didn’t have, and all of sister’s lawful inheritance had been placed into a trust as she recently declared bankruptcy.

we have nothing to do with her. Some of her adult children have sent friend requests to ours, but they are ignored.

IloveAslan · 18/02/2024 21:11

I wouldn't want to be a friend of someone who did that. Why would you even consider remaining friends with her OP? She would also be finding another bridesmaid if I was in this position.

Whether it has anything to do with you or not doesn't matter. She has shown what sort of person she is, that's enough for me.

Northernsouloldies · 18/02/2024 21:12

Has op ever updated?.

IloveAslan · 18/02/2024 21:17

BlackBean2023 · 17/02/2024 10:37

If you're 28 now, your friend would have been 24 when the new Will was made. The old Will would have been written when she was 4. A lot can change in 20 years and assuming she was early 20's when she lost her mum the mother would have been young and perhaps not thought she would need to worry about a new will.

Scenario 1- old will leaves her house and cash savings to an ex partner of 10 years.

Scenario 2- old will leaves money split equally between siblings and new will leaves everything to your friend.

I'd need more context before drawing an opinion on whether this would be friendship ending for me.

It doesn't actually matter what the scenario was. Forging a will is against the law. People can't just change someone else's will because they feel like it, whatever the circumstances.

GirlAloud2024 · 18/02/2024 21:24

I'd tell her exactly why you'll never speak for her again and them proceed to never speak to her again. If she will do that to her late mother you could never ever trust her in your life. You couldn't leave her alone in your house for example, she would probably steal from you. Plus she clearly has no moral compass whatsoever.

ChampagneLassie · 18/02/2024 21:25

If she’s so that to her dying mother who knows what she’s capable of? I wouldn’t want anything to do with her, no. I wouldn’t explain, I’d just distance myself. I’d probably write a letter saying I’m not comfortable being friends anymore and you wish her all the best.

IloveAslan · 18/02/2024 21:25

Catinknickers · 17/02/2024 08:45

I think it depends why she did it. If the mother had left her fortune to the cats home or to some feckless cousin and not to her daughter fair enough.

I have been a witness to a will twice that was drawn up and ‘signed’ after the person’s death. It was for good reasons.

I despair!! If someone wants to leave their estate to the cats' home or some feckless cousin and not their child then that is their right. It is THEIR money, they can do whatever they want.

Admitting that you witnessed wills which have been drawn up and 'signed' after the person's death is shameful - there are no good reasons. You are a criminal and I hope the law catches up with you.

Silverbirchtwo · 18/02/2024 21:31

How did she get it legally witnessed? Two accomplices? Or did her mother legally sign it, but you think it was under duress or when she was not competent. Other relatives should have challenged it if it was made close to her death and different from her known wishes.

Anele22 · 18/02/2024 21:51

F

Singlemumto4k · 18/02/2024 21:52

I believe my sister did this with my mum... she got left every possession my mum had while I was left with paying for the funeral and all the debt she had

LikeWhyThough · 18/02/2024 21:56

If she could do this to her own mum, imagine what she could do to you.

That's a harrowing, horrifying thought.

Dump her.

Snippit · 18/02/2024 22:12

I have a relative that tried all sorts of devious behaviour to hide the fact their was cash in the house, put aside by the deceased for the funeral. It even witnessed the DIY will that it was a beneficiary of, bloody idiot, so it then went to probate.

I no longer speak to it, it’s told so many lies to better one’s self, absolutely vile.

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 18/02/2024 22:13

Not that it makes much difference to the dishonesty but how did she -did she take money away from a close family member, put assets in her name?

Are you going to say anything to anyone in her family?

keffie12 · 18/02/2024 22:16

If the 2nd Will was legitimately signed, the 2nd Will would be the one to go to probate anyway.

Another Will revokes the first will, so it may be she did nothing wrong. I have a legal background, hence how I know.

However, morally is another matter if she thought that getting rid of the first will would help her case. It's morally wrong if not legally. Technically, she could be in trouble for destroying the will.

Proving it is another matter

Dibbydoos · 18/02/2024 22:43

Greed is a horrible human behaviour.

My friend's sister dod the same, noone got anything when their DM died. Not even mementoes. Then she went about poisoning their dad some would leave his multi millions to her, but she died unexpectedly, so my friend and her younger sister have time to heal things with their dad.

So it happens, but I couldn't be friends with someone like that and if you know her mummeant to leave things for others, she should be shopped. It's a heinous crime imo because the person who died has no recourse.

Yogatoga1 · 18/02/2024 23:00

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 18/02/2024 22:13

Not that it makes much difference to the dishonesty but how did she -did she take money away from a close family member, put assets in her name?

Are you going to say anything to anyone in her family?

It’s actually very easy.

if you have a copy of the will, the death certificate, and are executor, you simply present these to banks and institutions and they hand over the money.

as long as it doesn’t exceed the banks threshold for probate- which most high street banks can be up to 50k. So multiple savings accounts, none exceeding that banks threshold, and you can clear it all out.

then don’t apply for probate, so the will and accounts are kept private. This works even if you aren’t a beneficiary, as no one else can prove they are as they can’t see the will unless you choose to show them.

i’d love to know the actual figure for probate fraud. It very rarely gets taken to court or even investigated because people either can’t get any proof (ie the will) or don’t have the £££££ for lawyers. Think. I read you need to have about £50k to contest a will.

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 18/02/2024 23:05

Yogatoga1 · 18/02/2024 23:00

It’s actually very easy.

if you have a copy of the will, the death certificate, and are executor, you simply present these to banks and institutions and they hand over the money.

as long as it doesn’t exceed the banks threshold for probate- which most high street banks can be up to 50k. So multiple savings accounts, none exceeding that banks threshold, and you can clear it all out.

then don’t apply for probate, so the will and accounts are kept private. This works even if you aren’t a beneficiary, as no one else can prove they are as they can’t see the will unless you choose to show them.

i’d love to know the actual figure for probate fraud. It very rarely gets taken to court or even investigated because people either can’t get any proof (ie the will) or don’t have the £££££ for lawyers. Think. I read you need to have about £50k to contest a will.

Show quote history

I don’t mean the process

I mean what did the friend change the Will from? Who did she take money/ assets from?