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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex on social media

35 replies

mousey24 · 16/02/2024 21:32

I'm a member of a social media group connected to my hobby. My ex who I divorced due to domestic violence joined the group which is annoying but nothing I can do about that. I ignore him as much as I can.

When I was married to him and pregnant, I suspected he was cheating on me but I never had any proof. I did confront him, but he blamed me for being neurotic caused by my pregnancy hormones making me "batshit mental."

There was a thread where people were talking about affairs at work. He posted about an affair he had and named where he worked. He went into detail about how perfect she was and he was deeply in love with her. It was the workplace where he was working when I was married to him and pregnant.

I don't know why I'm posting on here. I'm just reeling from shock and needed to tell someone.

OP posts:
BotterMon · 16/02/2024 21:33

Why don't you respond in the group to him and out the prick?

Original poster
mousey24 · 16/02/2024 21:37

BotterMon · 16/02/2024 21:33

Why don't you respond in the group to him and out the prick?

Fear. He's beaten me up several times in the past and he knows where I live.

OP posts:
10ThousandSpoons · 16/02/2024 21:37

He's posted it to get at you. Don't let him. You know he's scum.

girlfriend44 · 16/02/2024 21:39

Just ignore.

SheSaidHummingbird · 16/02/2024 21:40

It might not be true. He knew you would read it and may be trying to provoke you. Remind yourself that he is no longer in your life and he is stuck is his own miserable company forever.

CharmedCult · 16/02/2024 21:40

Block him on social media and then you won't see his posts and he won't have the satisfaction of knowing you've seen his posts.

Mermaidsarereal · 16/02/2024 21:40

Just ignore him! I'm sure if you block him you might no longer be able to see his posts or comments.

WillYouPutYourCoatOn · 16/02/2024 21:40

Screenshot it. You never know when you might need it.

Southeastmumma · 16/02/2024 21:43

It would be much much better for the rest of your life if you never saw or read any of his posts and had absolutely nothing to do with him. He wants to get at you. It doesn't matter if it's true or not, you need none of this

purplecorkheart · 16/02/2024 21:48

Can you block him? Normally you can within social media.

KnowledgeableMomma · 16/02/2024 21:49

I would have felt an immediate rush of relief as in, "Thank fuck I don't have dickface prick in my life anymore!!".

PrincessTeaSet · 16/02/2024 21:49

He probably made it up to get at you. He knows you're in the group.
Why do.you care anyway, you know he's an awful person.
I would block him and have no further links whatsoever

bottomsup12 · 16/02/2024 21:51

He's trying to provoke you. Leave the group and block him

xyz111 · 16/02/2024 21:52

Block him, then you'll never see any of his posts.

GirlAloud2024 · 16/02/2024 21:52

Screenshot, always ignore and block. You're better than him and way better than replying to him, leave him to make up pretend perfect women to entertain himself you are onto bigger and better things. He doesn't scare you anymore, he's a sad little loser which is why he was violent to you in the past and why he's trying to upset you now. You are free of him ❤

ZippyZappyZoo · 16/02/2024 21:59

Screenshot it, ignore it and block him so you don’t see his posts and he can’t see yours.

LauritaEvita · 17/02/2024 10:15

10ThousandSpoons · 16/02/2024 21:37

He's posted it to get at you. Don't let him. You know he's scum.

This. All the ‘she was perfect’ etc comments are directly for your benefit. What a horrible, twisted creep. Can you not block him? I’ve blocked people and I’m sure it means I no longer see their comments on things but can still see the rest of the convo

kcchiefette · 17/02/2024 11:15

Screenshot then block the asshole.

Once someone is blocked, you cant see their posts and they cant see yours.

I would keep the screenshot for future reference in case needed. E.g. divorce etc

Newestname002 · 17/02/2024 15:19

kcchiefette · 17/02/2024 11:15

Screenshot then block the asshole.

Once someone is blocked, you cant see their posts and they cant see yours.

I would keep the screenshot for future reference in case needed. E.g. divorce etc

This OP. Please don't keep someone active in your life when they were so violent to you in the past and likely to be so again if you "cross" them.

Hopefully you've got good security measures at home, eg quality camera doorbell, camera at the rear of your property, locks on your back gate, chain on front door, clamp for French windows or mortice door bolts... 🌹

Original poster
mousey24 · 17/02/2024 21:52

Newestname002 · 17/02/2024 15:19

This OP. Please don't keep someone active in your life when they were so violent to you in the past and likely to be so again if you "cross" them.

Hopefully you've got good security measures at home, eg quality camera doorbell, camera at the rear of your property, locks on your back gate, chain on front door, clamp for French windows or mortice door bolts... 🌹

Show quote history

Thanks. I don't want him active in my life. I'm divorced from him and have no physical contact with him. He just keeps turning up where I go. He's not actually threatening me directly, but I feel panicked knowing he is there and obviously posts like the one in my OP upset me.

It's a life sentence that I can't get out of.

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 17/02/2024 21:57

If he is that bad of a person why are you allowing him to affect you?

Block and move on and to anyone who says 'it is not that simple' it is it is a choice

pikkumyy77 · 17/02/2024 21:59

Take legal advice. You do not have to accept being stalked by your abuser.

SheepAndSword · 17/02/2024 22:08

How nasty. Has he got any interest in this hobby or is he just stalking?

Echo what others said, up your security and screenshot. You could possibly speak to the mods.

Butterfly44 · 17/02/2024 22:08

If it a FB group? You can create a profile with a different name and switch between these on the app. So you could delete yourself from the group and join under the pseudonym if you wanted to keep in it.

BlueMum16 · 17/02/2024 22:12

Block him so he can't see your posts. And put him on ignore so you can't see his.

You don't need to see what he posts especially if it's still upsetting you.

Be kind to yourself and be strong.