Ex on social media

[mousey24]

I'm a member of a social media group connected to my hobby. My ex who I divorced due to domestic violence joined the group which is annoying but nothing I can do about that. I ignore him as much as I can.

When I was married to him and pregnant, I suspected he was cheating on me but I never had any proof. I did confront him, but he blamed me for being neurotic caused by my pregnancy hormones making me "batshit mental."

There was a thread where people were talking about affairs at work. He posted about an affair he had and named where he worked. He went into detail about how perfect she was and he was deeply in love with her. It was the workplace where he was working when I was married to him and pregnant.

I don't know why I'm posting on here. I'm just reeling from shock and needed to tell someone.

I really hope you heal from this OP. I could have wrote this myself. My ex was abusive, when I was pregnant I knew he was cheating on me (with my friend), I confronted him and he gaslit me into thinking I was crazy and I was a problem for ‘accusing’ him. Turns out he ended up getting with her when I was still pregnant. They loved to put spiteful things about me on social media; him, her, his family and friends. I was so wrapped up in ‘checking’ all hours of the day to see what was else had been posted. It was exhausted and impacted my mental health immensely. It shouldn’t be like this, but try to not be on social media often and especially stay away from any forms of media and accounts that involve him. I really do wish you the best OP

One thing ive learned is if someone starts putting up on SM how much in love they are.
Or flashing off etc it not going well behind closed doors.
Not all people are like this but the ones you know far too well you can pick it out.

Block him. Why are you ignoring this option?

I really don't understand why you wouldn't have your abuser blocked on social media.

@BotterMon Terrible idea, he would love that!!!!

OP you are amazing, never forget that. You are stronger than you know and he is scum and the biggest loser. He exists to make someone he should have cared for, feel like shit and live in fear!!! You can’t get much worse than being someone who does that.

I’m wondering if you could message the admin and explain, they might ban him or at least remove the post if it’s not appropriate to the hobby?

Can you contact the admin for the group and tell them the situation and get him removed? If I ran a group and one of its members came to me and told me another member was their ex who cheated on them, beat them up and is now stalking them in their social group I would act pretty quick.

How pathetic is he. So obsessed with you still that he is following you around on your interest groups trying to get attention. Fucker. What an empty life he must lead.

But OP could just block him? Why involve admin who are probably running the group for free?

He's doing it on purpose to maintain control and bully you. He will be coming across like a total weirdo giving those sorts of details - it's blatantly untrue also. Even if the affair happened he didn't feel like that about her, a monster like him couldn't. Also, he is still hung up on you if this is the depths he's prepared to sink to to get your attention. He is to be pitied, not feared. Block him and as others have said, set up a pseudo account. I'd be inclined to tell the organisers you believe he is there to stalk you. Keep a log of everything.

@puzzledout lots of people have already suggested blocking. Op hasn't said what platform this is on so it may not be possible or practical to do so. Any closed group should have some control here to moderate to group.

Op, do you have police report about the violence towards you? Perhaps others can advise about if non molestation orders apply to social media. you have been treated appallingly and it's so frustrating that it's so difficult to protect yourself from this kind of behaviour as not being bad enough.

It's an online group like this one. You can't block people or stop them from seeing your content.

The admin are aware of the history but won't block him. If he was posting abuse directly at me they would take action, but as he's not specifically naming me, they said most other people won't know it's about me and just to ignore him.

Yes the police were involved when we split up and he was charged with assault. He's also since lost access to our children due to his behaviour and I've still got the CAFCAS documents from that.