Birthday gifts

[CuppaTeaNeeded]

NRP gives DC £300 gifts on their 18th birthdays

NRP has more DC with new partner they get £600 gifts on their 18th (as it’s both parents contributing).

Is this fair / right?

YABU - of course not, all DC should get the same from the NRP household

YANBU - yes it is, first children also have RP gift so the second children should get 2 x the amount as they only have one household

That seems fair. The second children can be seen as getting £300 from each parent. The first children only get the £300 as only one person in the NRP household is their parent.

Presumably the child will also get a gift from their other parent?

Seems fair to me.

seems completely fair

anything stopping the RP giving £300

in fact its so reasonable that fact you’re asking is the baffling thing

Definately fair

Yes it’s fair. NRP is giving their half of the gift for all children in equal measure. It’s not their fault if their ex can’t match it but current partner can.

Can't get my head around your YABU and YANBU but yes OK for NRP to give £300 and children in household to get more if their own parent also contributes. Their own RP presumably gives them a present too so in effect that evens out the balance.

Totally fair, just as it's fair that RP takes the child on holiday one year and NRP the next.

I wouldn't do that, but it does mean that it balances out. Each parental figure gives a fixed amount, it's easy for a young person to understand, less people means less money. The way step children are treated on here , especially by GP's and wider family often means that they get more than bio children.

YABU
I think it's fair, the DC gets £300 from NRP then whatever they get from the RP

Sorry in answer to your AIBU it should be YANBU
I'm guessing this is about your DP who is the NRP and has a child elsewhere then has DC's with you

What is NRP?

@QueenBean22

nonresident parent

op if the rp gives the same then they all get the same

Thank you. Yes I think £300 is fine

Of course that's fair

NRP is giving £300 to his DC with OP, and £300 to his DC with other partner

Why are you borrowing trouble when you dont need to?

It’s fine.

I guess the assumption is you would also give them a gift. So the other kids are getting the same thing really, just from 2 people at once as they are a couple.
I don't think this sounds bad at all really. I guess maybe your ex's partner could be a bit more generous towards your kid, but it is her choice to only gift her own children, assuming half is 'her share'.

Why does exs partner need to contribute more to DC that are not hers?

Does OP contribute to exs other DC?

Yes its fair, as presumably RP will be contributing too. Your poll questions are confusing so I don't think you're getting the right result on your poll. Both answers seem to mean the same.

@OdinsHorse Yeah, good point. They don't. I guess if her kid stays round there and stuff she might think the woman might see him more like a son?
I guess if OP has a new partner with children, and she will be paying them hundreds of pounds in the same vein as her own then she's entitled to think it might be rude. Otherwise, not so much. The other woman is hardly going to advocate the step kid getting more than her own children so I fully agree.

I hope you’re through your catastrophic debt problem op

oh sorry wrong thread 🤔

I’m the second partner. DHs ex kicking off because our children may get more for their birthday’s. DS has told SDB what he might get not realising what they were given (biggish age gap).
Otherwise have always been treated the same.
They won’t get double but I do think they should get slightly more due to not having a second family.
I can’t fully say it’s ’my half’ or DHs half as we have family money and always have done (I earn more not then DH but he earnt more for a long time).

Looking at all the comments, 100% of which say it is fair, I think your voting options have confused some people as there are 39% thinking it isn't ?

Yes probably! Or its people who don’t agree but not reasoned enough to say why.