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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel angry, bitter and resentful

566 replies

StillAtDusk · 15/02/2024 19:08

I admit I'm feeling really sorry for myself.
But I can't help it.
DH and I are really struggling financially. We live in a tiny semi-detached house with our 2 DC. Our house has no hallway, front door goes straight into lounge, kitchen 7ft x 10ft, 3rd bedroom (DD room) 6 ft x 9ft. Bought an old 2nd hand car last year after my other 2nd hand car died. Now this one has failed it's MOT miserably and we haven't got the money to pay for the amount of work it needs. Probably can't afford to go on holiday this year. Our kitchen unit doors are broken, our oven is broken, our bath is broken with a hole in it, we need new radiators, we need new carpets because they're all old and threadbare, but we can't afford to replace any of these things and our house is an embarrassing state. We both work, DH 50 hours a week, me 30hrs a week, we are both in professional occupations that we spent years training for after both going to Uni.
Every week I worry about money. And our fixed term mortgage expires later this year and I actually feel physically sick at the thought of how much it's going to go up by as we have no money left at the end of each month as it is, and our mortgage term is up to the age of 70 so we won't be able to extend it as a way of keeping repayments manageable.
I'm angry and bitter and resentful because our life didn't need to be like this.
When I was a teenager, my grandmother repeatedly stated to me, to my DF and DM, and to her sisters, that when she died, I was to be given a quarter of the sale of her house. I so clearly remember her telling me I would inherit a quarter, and I remember family meetings round the table with her stipulating this to my DF (her son) and telling him he must ensure I received a quarter of the sale upon her death. My grandmother adored me all my life. But she never left a will. And after she died, her house was sold and my DF ploughed all of the inheritance into buying a new kitchen, new bathroom and a loft conversion in his girlfriend's house and spent the rest on holidays with her. They're not married and her house is in her name as she bought it before they met. So DF effectively ploughed hundreds of thousands of pounds into her house, he lives there with her, has done for 30 years, but he'll never have any financial claim on it and I never, ever saw a penny of the quarter my grandmother asked him to give me.
I'm angry with my beloved grandmother for trusting that her wishes would be carried out and not leaving an actual will.
I'm beyond angry with my DF and I no longer speak to him as a result. And as a result of me not speaking to him, my DC have never even met him, which I'm also angry and bitter about.
When I was 6, after my parents divorced because my DF had a affair, my DM got engaged and we moved to a new home with my stepfather. They had a baby. Within a year, my stepfather was dead. My DM was unable to financially maintain the mortgage, so we lost our new home and went into rented accommodation. My DM has remained single and in a rented home ever since, as she's never been able to afford to buy a home by herself.
My DH's mother died and DH's father inherited the house. His DM owned her house outright in her own name before she met and married DH's father. Within months of her death, DH's father sold the house, their beautiful family home, banked the money (no mortgage so got all of the sale) moved in with a new woman into her home, married her, then a year later he died and his new wife inherited all of his money from the sale of the family home. The naivity in me thought, surely she'll give DH some money, in recognition of the fact this money she's inherited has come from the sale of his family home which his mother owned outright. But no. She used the whole lot to buy a lovely new home for her and her children. DH never saw a penny of any inheritance. If he had, we wouldn't be living in the tremendously hard up circumstances we are now.
So DH and I are where we are. Struggling to death financially and finding life really hard.
And I'm so angry, it's eating me up.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
Paradiddlediddle · 15/02/2024 23:54

You must be taking home 2.2k a month? And you got the lump sum last year? And then DHs top band salary too?
Something just not adding up here.

Dibbydoos · 15/02/2024 23:55

faxnoink · 15/02/2024 19:13

Why did neither of you contest either of the wills? You were old enough to contest them.

What do you both earn and how much is the mortgage?

There were no wills. The estate goes to the next of kin, that's the spouse for her DHs DF and her DF from his DMs home.

Financially we are all in the shit. We didn't need to be here but tories don't care about normal folk.

All I can suggest is looking at different jobs or if you have experience in a sought after field, look for non exec director role that is paid. There are a few around.

Wishing you sone good luck. I have to admit the two DFs were/are nuts.

Having no will is stupid.

strugglingwithmentalhealth · 15/02/2024 23:55

You are right, its shit and unfair, been thru similar myself and it does sting, but I had no choice but to let it go and I was torturing myself with the what ifs. You sound so angry and resentful and that has to be very tough on you all. But I do understand why.

So how can we help you to help yourself?

You have been told you may be entitled to DLA, great, hopefully that will be a help to you.
Can you look at the local free sites for paint, for a bath and see if you can get a local person such as a handyman to put it in cheap or in return for a trade off of skills.
If you work for the NHS you both may have transferable skills such as babysitting, childminding, caring for a sick relative, nursing help, admin skills, even baking that you could offer in return for fitting a bath and rads can defo be gotten free, cleaned out with a hose and recycled. I see htem all the time on Adverts free to take away.

Can you borrow a heat gun and strip the kitchen cabinets of the laminate and paint them for now? Or even use contact on them to spruce them up. Again free sites for that and free carpets and rugs.

The car is a bugger, could you borrow on an interest free credit card and in the meantime apply for the DLA and repay off the card once you get the DLA, assuming you can of course.

Are there any trainee mechanic schools around that could do your car cheaply as a learning experience?

Olio is a free food app, its all over the UK and Ireland. I collect the food in my area and people who need it come get what I advertise on the app. NO judgement, I get to keep some for me and its been a huge help here too. It may be a way of diverting money off to use for other things for a little while.

Tonight's collection included chicken breasts, steak, mince, roast beef, pork loin, chops, potatoes, peppers, lettuce, radishes, avocados, lettuces, cabbage, kale, bread, pastries, blueberries, oranges, apples, bananas, tomatoes, mushrooms.

There are a few people who come collect here and its a great way to use up food that would have been thrown out by Tesco otherwise. But it is a great way to save on your food shop and use that money to do a few repairs.

I really hope things change for the better for you x

BlueGrey1 · 15/02/2024 23:57

Two professional wages and you are at the top of the pay spine and completely broke

This Dosen’t really add up for me either if you are living very frugally, sorry OP I do feel for your situation but between the 2 of you you must surely be bringing in a few thousand a month so should surely be able to buy yourself something as small as a new winter coat amongst other things….I think you need to explain more if you want advice

MysticalMegx · 16/02/2024 00:00

It is shit, it's very shit but there's lots of us in the same position. Be grateful for the small things you have rather than the negatives and what you don't have. You own your home which is more than some.

solsticelove · 16/02/2024 00:01

StillAtDusk · 15/02/2024 22:35

Just looked at DLA and looks like it doesn't apply to kids who are in mainstream school.

Hi @StillAtDusk
this isn’t true. It’s irrelevant how they are educated. It’s their needs that it goes off

I suggest that you get the forms to apply and have a good look through them. I bet they’d qualify. And most people who claim DLA for their child can claim carers allowance too. Good luck.

Angelsrose · 16/02/2024 00:02

Op don't dwell on the lack of inheritance, most people have to make do without it and forge their own path. I can understand the hurt you felt at your DF's actions but continuing to feel such anger will only be detrimental to you in the long-term. Looking into DLA sounds like something useful to do and could help your current situation. Best of luck.

momonpurpose · 16/02/2024 00:03

Now I'm in the US but here at our dollar store so it would be your pound store the actually sell laminate squares and back splash squares. Not top top quality but pretty. And this will sound crazy but spray paint can cover a multitude of sins. Also the free face book groups. Yes some is junk but there's good stuff out there

ViciousCurrentBun · 16/02/2024 00:06

You are in the SE so it is far more expensive than a lot of the country.
You need to go on a fact finding mission get over to moneyexpert.com to check on all the advice that has been given to you.

Xyz1234567 · 16/02/2024 00:07

Question:
What can you do about inheritances you feel should have been yours?
Answer:
Absolutely nothing.
Your wisest option is to draw a line under it and move forward.FINAL.
You are embittered, and estranged from your dad because of money, which is very sad in itself.
You need to wipe the slate clean and count your blessings:
2 children, a husband, a 3 bedroom house, both parents in professional careers, cars etc.
Your children will grow up fast, don't project your neuroses on to them and enjoy their childhood. You'll look back at this time and regret it if you don't.

Spendysis · 16/02/2024 00:08

I am sorry you are having a tough time op it’s exhausting relentless and depressing when you are both working and there is nothing left for treats days out or even house repairs

I understand why you are angry regarding the inheritance I am in a similar position my dsis has borrowed and never paid tens of thousands from dm over the years due to reckless spending holidays cars etc I’ve never had a penny not that I expect to as an adult be funded by dm so I’ve never asked and we have lived within our means and at time scraped by. Now dm is elderly dsis doesn’t seem to ask dm for a loan anymore just helps herself and when I raised my concerns politely they have both stopped speaking to me so no doubt I will have been cut out of the will. Unlike dsis who has 3 mortgages main one being interest only with no way to pay other than her inheritance her half would cover it we can pay ours off in a few years

like you I am angry hurt and it doesn’t seem fair while I don’t need the inheritance money to survive I could of helped dc dm only gc with house deposits etc I am just trying to accept the situation and not let my feelings spoil the relationship I have with my dh and my dc
i hope things improve for you op

JMSA · 16/02/2024 00:09

I only read the first part of the post, as I'm too tired to follow the second. I felt really bad for you, and agree that it's totally shit Flowers
However it's simply not healthy to live with so much bitterness towards others, even if they are disappointing.

Ariela · 16/02/2024 00:10

Re the bath, my brother stuck his hand through a fibre glass bath once, so we got a tub of instant fibre glass car repair and filled the hole, sanded it smooth, looked ugly but worked, covered it with a large plastic duck to avoid embarrassment nobody ever said 'oh you have got/had a huge hole in the bath!' Worked fine till I got a matching bath secondhand, about 2-3 years later.

Look on FB Marketplace for a replacement bath of the same dimensions.
£50-100 will buy you a bath.
You can easily plumb it in yourself - look on You Tube for videos.

Tiling is easy you just need to use spacers and look at You Tube videos. The critical thing is to ensure you seal the bath with a good sealant so water doesn't go down the back of it.
Even allowing buying materials and tools, I reckon you could replace the bath with a secondhand one for less than £200-250, including replacing a few tiles. If you're lucky you might be able to pick up the same tiles secondhand, or a tile that would match or contrast what's there. If you're really lucky you might be able to replace the bath without damaging any tiles.

CentrifugalBumblePuppy · 16/02/2024 00:13

I can understand your frustration. My DDad died a couple of years ago, and our Mum, though divorced for many years & separated for over 30, decided to keep the insurance payout of a good few 10s of thousands which she’d always assured us was, “Just for you girls”.

Of course, Dad didn’t have a will because forward planning was not his forte (he was very much a wangle his bank card or flick his hand for someone else to deal with things).

And on the day I went to the funeral directors & paid for Dad’s cremation, Mum started kicking off, lamenting, “But nobody cares for me!” Remember, they had been separated & divorced for 30 years and DDad had only died 6 days before.

I’ve had to give up work & claim Carer’s Allowance to look after her (thank goodness DH has a good job). External carers have been dismissed and she has what we call ‘Nantrums’ if anyone, be it Adult Social Workers or medical staff, if a third party carer is ever suggested (oh, the joys of having a psychosomatic narcissist for a mother).

And even the money she promised in the summer after his death to her adult grandchildren, to their faces, has failed to materialise. Which we always knew would happen as altruistism is an alien concept for both of our parents.

The tl;dr is, some people are bastards, and those bastards are often your nearest & dearest.

I may sound flippant, but to be promised something for years only to have it whipped away when push comes to shove is heartbreaking.

It’s not about the money (although money is always nice). It’s about the emotions such actions provoke. We knew Mum wouldn’t part with a single penny (she didn’t even offer to pay for his funeral costs from the life insurance, a mere couple of percent of the money). But the feelings of rejection, coupled with the natural grieving due to the loss of a loved one, that’s a hard thing to reconcile.

And when you are on the bare bones of your arse (as we have been when our kids were small) or when DH was made redundant last year, and you see the people who supposedly love you blowing thousands whilst you can’t afford to do basic house repairs… well, it’s bloody hard not to be pissed.

When you are caught in a situation where money is so tight a thing like a failed MOT can send you spiralling, you are not only dealing with the fear of any financial pressures, you’re also trying to cope with your own family’s rejection, having promised you money or property for years and then, nothing.

Of course, people can do what they want with their inherited money. And in the cold light of day we can all understand that.

But it’s not about the money. It’s about the rejection and breaking of trust when you’ve been promised something that never appears. And, as in our case, it’s been promised to you since you were children (and you’re also the ones to sort out the insurance payout because Mum was another hand wafting ‘someone do it for me’ type), it’s a bloody great kick in the ovaries.

You’re not only dealing with the death of your relative, you’re trying to cope with the rejection you feel by the actions of others that you trust and love.

I hope things get better for you @StillAtDusk .Un-Mumsnet-y hugs.

UnbelievablySelfish · 16/02/2024 00:15

Blueglazzier · 15/02/2024 23:29

Just wanted to say I feel for you . You have been badly let down by people you trusted and life is hard and a daily struggle when you both work so very hard . Do you know what , I don't blame you for feeling so deeply . I think I would be feeling the same . I feel your anger and I feel for you . I understand you see . I wish you so much luck and happiness for your future and a good loving home life . Best wishes

@Blueglazzier’s are my sentiments OP.

You have been dealt a very testing hand, leaving aside your DH and DC.

The only thing I can suggest is reading around positivity and forcing yourself to change your thoughts so that you are sending out good ones.

It’s not easy but what have you got to lose, the way things are at the minute?

Your Dad was wicked not to honour his mother’s wishes. Shame on him. His wife was unbelievably selfish, as was your DH’s second wife.

But please, don’t let them win. Consider changing your mindset and finding out how to go about it.

Avatartar · 16/02/2024 00:20

OP you have to let it go or it will consume you. You can only rely on your self. Look at other jobs and keep an eye on Facebook marketplace for pieces for your home

UnbelievablySelfish · 16/02/2024 00:25

One of the worst cases of breathtaking injustice (wrt inheritance) goes, was that of Steig Larson and his girlfriend Eva Gabrielson. He wrote the very successful and lucrative Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. His girlfriend Eva G helped with the writing of it. He died suddenly and intestate: the whole of his estate went to his estranged father and brother. They gave her Nothing.

She went half mad with the injustice of it all (she and Steig had been skint before publication) and the only thing she could do was turn to meditation, writing it all down then burning the paper to change the energy, etc.

It’s tough.

Zoomycat · 16/02/2024 00:37

Definitely apply for DLA. I get it for my DC, who attends mainstream school. If your DC require more care than other children their age then yes you are entitled to it. It's not a means tested benefit. I can only work 30 hours a week due to the same issues you have with childcare etc. The DLA helps massively and I am also able to put a % away each month for DC future.

Sidehustlequestion · 16/02/2024 00:38

OP, in the kindest way it sounds like you may need therapy to talk through this harboured resentment you have built up for years? It’s awfully unfair to miss out on these inheritances, people suck, but most people don’t have inheritances and make it work. If you’re both trained professionals within the NHS and top of your banding then you must have a very reasonable income. It would be far better for you and your family to let go of the things you cannot change and focus on what you have and can do. You’re coming across very angry and shutting down any suggestions. Hopefully therapy can help you adjust your thinking and realise you have a lot to be grateful for.

KeepQuiet · 16/02/2024 00:47

It's sad to read this. Unfortunately, you are like many people in the South East of England - skewered by property costs and the cost of living crisis.

You work for the NHS and there are hospitals all over the country. Sell up and move somewhere much cheaper. You won't believe how different you'll feel with more space to live in and less stress about money. It's transformative.

CraftyTaupeOtter · 16/02/2024 00:50

That sounds very hard and is a good lesson for people to please make wills. It's essential. Inheritances have followed the next of kin lines, as the default.

With you both working so many hours together, I wonder if you have a lot of debt outside of the mortgage? If so, maybe you could look into a consolidation type of loan. This can bring down the overall payments and might help free up some money.

Outliers · 16/02/2024 01:00

Many people get by in this life without an inheritance windfall. I'm sure you can do it too.

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