To ask if you love your partner more than you love your parents?

[Selenaso]

Or is it just a different kind of love? (Assuming you have loving relationships with both your partner and your parents, which I recognise that not everybody does). I’m single, and my parents still very much feel like my emotional centre. Obviously I’m sure when you get into a serious relationship that shifts, but I’m curious whether you feel like your partner replaces your parents as the emotional centre/sense of home, or it’s more like you gain multiple centres?

YABU - I love my partner more than I love my parents, he (or she) is my emotional centre now

YANBU - it’s a different kind of love, not greater or less, they are both emotional centres for me

Way more. I'd do anything for my DH. My parents whilst not bad parents, were not great parents. I have no idea why they ever had children, they had such a lack of interest in me growing up. I don't feel that close to them, most like extended family.

I hate all this 'who do you love more' crap. It's very possible to love multiple people in your life without having to put them in an order, it's a strange way of thinking to me.

It's just different. Same with children.

I remember years ago there was a survey about families of who the children loved and poor old dad came below the family dog.

Okay strangers from the interweb, I’m immature 😂
Is my life story on file or something?.. no I didn’t think so…
I love how other people have the same opinion but I’m immature bc I said my age 🤭 Sure thing…

No DCs here, I love DH and the dog way way more than anyone else. My dad died when I was young, I get on fine with DB but we are not particularly close, and I've always had a bit of a tricky relationship with my mother.

I love how other people have the same opinion but I’m immature bc I said my age

LOL. It's because you have a fixed idea and cannot conceive that your personality and you will change as you age and with experience. That is what is immature; your blinkered ridgity and accusing @Immemorialelms of being patronising just for pointing out to you that you are probably wrong. Saying at the age of 26 that you would never date again if your DH left you or died is completely different from saying that aged 70 as a widow or a divorcee.

And while we are about it, starting a thread at 1am fishing for other people's views to support your irrational position just because strangers on the internet have pointed out to you that you are likely to be wrong is obviously the height of maturity!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/amibeingunreasonable/5009006-would-you-date-again-if-you-were-suddenly-single

I love my husband more than anyone else on the planet. Yes - even more than our children. I realise that in MN world that makes me a monster but there you go. He loves me more than he loves the children too. BUT I assure you we do love our children very much - just not more than each other. 🤷‍♀️

@HideTheCroissants at least you're honest. Can't relate and my dcs are adults. I love my dc unconditionally. Nothing they could do would change that. Whereas if dh fucked up I'd get rid.
Dcs are fantastic so not much chance of them doing anything terrible.

If I had to rank them, yes, I love my husband far more.

I love my parents but my DH is my safe space and home in the way they weren’t - they were pretty flaky when I was growing up. Ironically, it is from my DH that I feel the unconditional love you are meant to get from your parents.

Every relationship is different. Do I love my best friend more than my husband? Do I love my child more than my husband? One child more than another?
You can't answer these questions because each relationship between two individuals is unique. The love i share with each of them is powerful.
I guess what makes children exceptional is that you expect (biologically) to outlive you, so if you lose a child the grief is markedly different to any other relationship.

Is this whole site not others asking for other peoples views?
Oh yes apologies I was up in the wee hours, is that immature too?

I never said my personality won’t change? I simply don’t believe I would want to date again in the event my partner wasn’t there..? What is this 😂

Edit: also, it can’t be too irrational if so many people agree?…🤭

I'll reopen this old thread: when your parents are unrepentant are white ethnochristofascists supremacists and you didn't even realize it until you were in your twenties because of the control and the isolation and the lying and the emotional and physical abuse (he flung my 110-pound, 14y/o body at walls and furniture—the house had a broken couch for years because he threw me at it so hard I hit the back and it flipped backward over me, and this was one week after he grabbed me by the neck, choked me, and threw me by the neck at the kitchen table) and normalization of violence in the "home" and the disgusting grooming for an adulthood of passing on that disgusting stuff, there's really no reason to love them, because loving that rotting carcass of a situation will only make you sicker. My daughter is 20, has no desire to communicate with them (she is half Mexican and queer—the antithesis to my worthless birthright) and she has actual, real, substantive values.

It's complicated. I don't think it's necessarily easy to quantify love in terms of more or less. It is a different kind of love.

I love my parents in a way which feels biological or mandated. It's not an uncomplicated relationship, I have a lot of trauma from a childhood which was emotionally abusive (notwithstanding that I believe my parents loved / love me), but loving them feels like some kind of imperative.

My husband is my home, safety, comfort, security. He's the person I rely on and turn to for advice, support and comfort. I trust him a thousand times more than I trust my parents, I would choose his well-being over theirs in some horrific hypothetical where a choice had to be made.

Why bother thinking about it/comparing? Seems weird