Questioning all social media now I’ve deleted for a while!

[MissMarbles8]

This is kind of just a rant and also please go easy on me as I know I had a problem!

I decided last week to delete the instagram and Facebook apps on my phone for a month to see how I went. I realised I was spending way too much time scrolling on it. I also realised how much I was doing for the sake of social media / others seeing it.

I don’t know if this is just me overreacting but since I deleted it, I’ve been thinking about how weird social media is. I think it can be so useful used correctly, eg for long distance friendships. But I now feel some things are so bizarre (things I am guilty of doing!) for instance:
Why am I/people writing ‘happy valentines day’ or birthday, anniversary etc for the person who is sitting right next to them?! Why is saying it in person not enough, we have to write it on another platform too? I just find it so weird now I’ve stepped back??

Taking photoshoots in nice outfits before going out. I kind of get this one, but I feel loads of people dress up simply for instagram (especially people my age like young 20s)

i also have come to realise that we’ve lost the art of conversation. Because everyone is posting what they’re doing, it’s no longer people asking questions about what they did or how their weekend was. It’s more “I saw you were at XYZ, hope it was fun”. There’s nothing new to learn in person anymore.

This is by no means me thinking I’m above everyone who uses it, or saying no one should do these things - more of an observation or that my way of thinking is changing.
Is it just me?!

The sort of people that post ‘Happy Valentine’s Day to my wonderful husband’ are doing it for someone else’s benefit or they have something to prove. All my friends in solid relationships don’t do this.

i don’t relate to this at all really

none of my friends (either genuine or distanced) post nice outfits before going out!

there’s’ nothing new to learn about people”??! really?!

in fact so much i don’t get from your thread that i’m guessing you are much younger than me (43)

wishing birthday etc to the person sat next to you is not something i’d ever do but can be useful for nudging me to drop a birthday text to someone who is forgot to wish happy birthday to!

Someone I know changes her profile picture every few weeks to photos several years old and then appears to bask in the 'how do you manage to look so young' comments 🙄

I also realised how much I was doing for the sake of social media / others seeing it

Then that's a you problem, you chose to do that.
I don't know anyone who posts so much that we have nothing to have a conversation about in person.

I also realised how much I was doing for the sake of social media / others seeing it

bloody hell. Really OP??!

The happy valentines one/anniversary one is bang on the money.
It's really bizarre when you know they're sat together! Fair enough is one of them is working away or aboard but not when your both sat on the sofa together.

I deleted Facebook & Instagram for years, only have Facebook for certain groups nowadays but thinking I could do without it again when random friend posts turn up.

Like one today from a fb "friend" tagged herself at hospital with no context just a sad face, how attention seeking do you need to be.

What exactly is the problem here, I’m reflecting on things and being honest about them

Yep definitely this. Can tell it's unhappy relationship.

Totally get you. Spent half my morning dealing with a scam involving a supposed friend of a friend claiming my name was on a lottery winner's list.
I guessed it was a scam but got involved because the 'real' friend was a bit of a naive dope and her whole friends list had been infiltrated.
I've had enough. I've just deleted my Instagram account, screwed down my Facebook book settings to the ultimate amount and am on the way to probably deleting my Facebook account. The amount of Internet fraud now is terrifying.

i think you’re questioning how you used social media and have realised how daft your usage of it was (doing things specifically for social media??!). rather than questioning social media per se

so we’re you impacted by the scam or was your friend?
and what was the scam aside from a weird daft lie?!

I went from one person telling me how I should feel about something to another telling me people should wet vac their carpets all the time as they are probably filthy. So I deleted Instagram. I have not had Twitter for ages and don’t miss all the bloody nonsense on there.

I keep Facebook as I’m only on book recommendations pages and gardening forums but to be honest the shite that gets spouted on them is amazing.

I have you tube and currently only have two gardeners I follow and don’t plan on stopping watching them as they have taught me a lot. I don’t come on here very often now. I just got bored with all the rubbish being pushed into my face. I don’t miss any of it. I really don’t care that someone slightly famous was doing some diet thing. All nonsense.

Every social media site distorts the world through a lens of its own design.

Instagram says: Nothing has value unless it's good-looking and beautiful.

Facebook says: Nothing has value unless I receive validation and feedback.

Twitter says: Everything worth saying can be expressed without nuance or complexity in 300 characters (or whatever it is) and that the most extreme and inflammatory posts have highest value because they command the most numerous likes/retweets and general outrage. The algorithm promotes those tweets because they generate more attention and...more ad revenue.

All fine, as long as that's the game you want to be part of.

@theeyeshaveit82 what’s your problem? The OP is being honest about her experience, MANY people have the same experience as OP, it’s very common.

I agree with some of your points like the valentines messages but it maybe a sign of my age but people on my feed don’t use social media for validation of their looks and outfits. There may be a photo of a special occasion like a wedding or a photo of a girls night out but it’s not an every Saturday night thing and the photos are more like a group of women smiling at the camera while sat at a table rather than thirst traps looking for people to post fire emojis.
I used to see people use the check in tag on posts but it might be an age thing because I don’t see that kind of behaviour any more.
I see pics of people at gigs but they don’t have enough text that leads to no questions. If you are friends with people who post everything they do then it might be worth considering what that means about your choice of friends.

I don't do Facebook or Instagram and haven't done for a couple of years now.

Never once had fomo.

With WhatsApp, there really is no need for social media.

Altho I will admit I do like tiktok. We've had so many fab ideas for furniture in our house.

I don't post anything, follow any friends and I ignore all requests to follow (even from my sisters lol) as I don't see the point if I'm not posting anything and I know what they're all up to anyway as we use WhatsApp for pics, news etc.

I deleted Facebook and Instagram around Christmas and I agree. I realised how daft most of it was.

It's a shame I won't see people who were on there, and only there anymore. But then, they obviously aren't that important.

I use social media but I don't do any of the silly things you have listed above.
It is possible to use it without being an attention grabbing show off

Aren’t these forums just another type of social media though?

yes and i’m being honest in my reaction

and the OP says she now thinks it’s “weird” so 🤷‍♀️

i regard these as anonymous chat forums

I was thinking the same thing well mainly about the Valentines ones today. The other ones that get me are women my age (around 50) who post heavily filtered photos of themselves then get all the jorjus and fire emojis they look nothing like themselves they have no nose. Another friend was posting about it being Ash Wednesday on a look how good a Catholic I am type of post.

People probably mock me as all I really post are silly photos of my pets mostly the cats, nothing political, my children and husband don’t want their photos on there. It’s full of adverts now anyway and getting very tedious.

I agree OP. I got rid of all the socials a few years ago. Once you’re off them you realise what a complete waste of time they are, and also how bizarre they are really.

Exactly this. Well put @CranfordScones