Questioning all social media now I’ve deleted for a while!

[MissMarbles8]

This is kind of just a rant and also please go easy on me as I know I had a problem!

I decided last week to delete the instagram and Facebook apps on my phone for a month to see how I went. I realised I was spending way too much time scrolling on it. I also realised how much I was doing for the sake of social media / others seeing it.

I don’t know if this is just me overreacting but since I deleted it, I’ve been thinking about how weird social media is. I think it can be so useful used correctly, eg for long distance friendships. But I now feel some things are so bizarre (things I am guilty of doing!) for instance:
Why am I/people writing ‘happy valentines day’ or birthday, anniversary etc for the person who is sitting right next to them?! Why is saying it in person not enough, we have to write it on another platform too? I just find it so weird now I’ve stepped back??

Taking photoshoots in nice outfits before going out. I kind of get this one, but I feel loads of people dress up simply for instagram (especially people my age like young 20s)

i also have come to realise that we’ve lost the art of conversation. Because everyone is posting what they’re doing, it’s no longer people asking questions about what they did or how their weekend was. It’s more “I saw you were at XYZ, hope it was fun”. There’s nothing new to learn in person anymore.

This is by no means me thinking I’m above everyone who uses it, or saying no one should do these things - more of an observation or that my way of thinking is changing.
Is it just me?!

I've never been on FB, Twitter (X) or Instagram mainly because i have no interest in what people are eating / wearing etc.. honestly dont think ive missed out on anything, in fact from what i've gathered theres a lot of nastiness and arguments on them, so i've avoided stress!

Good on you OP

Why does no one acknowledge that Mumsnet is social media?

I agree. I don't read my FB or Instagram much and when I go on Mumsnet too much, I start feeling just as cluttered by too many different frames of thought/styles of life as I do on standard social media

Because it isn’t. It’s anonymous.

I find it useful for what I want so get out of it that

I don't rule my life over it or judge others or come up with weird back story or judging things or making decisions 'social media made me do it'

You mean social media other than.......this site?

If you're driven to keep up with the Jones' that's something that's in you.

Just as anyone who walks away from insta thinking 'everything has to be beautiful to be of value' has clearly lost all insight or intelligence. That's not down to an app. It was always there.

People have always been superficial and stupid. They are common human traits and existed long before social media.

I think use of social media (including anonymous chat forums like MN) comes down to individual intention. Why are you posting a valentine's post about how much you love your husband, really? It's because you want others to see that you love him so much. Why? If you're insecure in your relationship, the validation of others agreeing with "how perfect you are for each other" will make you feel better. Or maybe your intention is because you want one specific person to see it... your critical MIL or an ex or something.
I think it's helpful to really ask yourself why you're posting what you're posting with socials, especially if you think you use it too much. I think for a lot of people social media validation/attention is needed due to lack of self esteem or meaningful positive relationships.

It’s the human condition. It’s as simple as that. Life is one big competition in general. That’s why there’s so much one upmanship in the world and so much nastiness. Everything has a selfish undertone if you think about it. Some people are more overt about it or can be easily seen through. It’s always been that way, but SM is competition on steroids.

I came off years ago because I was so bored of all the attention seeking and drama of it. My mental health is better for it. In my opinion it’s the worst thing ever invented for human interaction. All my family and friends I actually want knowing my business I see in person or have on WhatsApp. Who cares what anyone else thinks?

I'm mid 30s and pretty much no one I know uses sm regularly any more. Most of them that I used to use regularly (Facebook, insta) are now mainly advertised and then communication from groups I've joined about specific hobbies / interests. In my circles, there's not much focus on sm at all. I think lots of people have lost interest. Or they've found a new one that no one has told me about 🤣

Mumsnet is a forum similar to Reddit, Digital Spy, Tattle, Pistonheads, etc. not the same as Facebook and Instagram where your identity is known

I use X because sometimes it's the only way to make yourself heard to companies like BG, Tesco, etc when something goes wrong and it's useful to find out stuff like power cuts, water going off or why the Tesco delivery hasn't arrived. I don't post on it for anything else though. The alternative for getting in touch with companies is Facebook and I would rather not have a profile on that.

I disagree with this, it's just like a public declaration I know when I did this it was because my partner liked seeing it and vice versa. But most stuff is generally BS. I used to like Facebook (years ago) but don't now as they've ruined it, and have never used any other platform. The saddest thing is a group of people sitting together all on their phones or else constantly taking pictures while out rather than experiencing the actual experience. It's depressing.

It is social media. But I think there are two kinds of social media. The ones which are anonymous like this and you can change your username every day and usually nobody really ‘knows’ you. And then the ones like Instagram and Facebook and Snapchat, where generally you are known to a significant number of your followers whose opinions might then matter to you.

I use the former but not the latter. Though I downloaded WhatsApp during the pandemic because I had to for work reasons.

If you posting that sort of thing on Facebook you have a problem. I have a few friends who do and they all got good reasons why ..one is very ill and Facebook is something she can control for example. I have Facebook but honestly never posted photos like that and most of my friends don't. We use Facebook to keep in touch. A friend just had a new born baby so woke this morning to photos of her baby born over night. That is something I love to see and sent my congratulations x

I have Facebook, rarely post anything and my friends are the same tbh. It's all adverts and memes and tiktok content.

I love instagram though, I have many different accounts for different things. I have a home account, basically a picture diary for my home renovation, it's been good to look back at where we've come and follow others for home inspiration and that are going through the disruptive works too.
I have a private one for my friends to keep up with what's going on.
My new account is private and it's a weight loss one, logging my current loss in pictures and following personal trainers, nutrionists and inspirational weight loss stories.
I think of instagram as a new form of magazine reading.

You do you, though.