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AIBU?

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So what do we do? We’re all in the doghouse!

708 replies

Turnbacknowbeforeitstoolate · 13/02/2024 16:54

Names have been changed to protect the innocent and deranged alike.
currently sat in my living room with two drunk men and a damp spaniel who are refusing to leave or answer their phones and it’s all my fault…
The background is that DP and I have been together some years now and he comes from a pretty well to do British home with two eccentric parents and one thoroughly batshit sister. We’ll call the sister ‘Tilly’ and she is the catalyst of all chaos and is the main character in all family dramas.
DP and I both work in the arts and are very well versed in the ways of the drama queen and the ego fiend and are very good at handling hard work people so we muddle along with Tilly and do our best to include her. FIL is ex military and bloody hilarious at times, a bit old fashioned but overall pleasant.
MIL is an extremely overprotective and epitomises the bored middle class housewife and frankly it’s a shame they stopped giving out Valium on the NHS a couple decades ago because she’d benefit somewhat.
Tilly has never had a job or been to university or even attended a drs appointment on her own, partly due to a weird codependent relationship with MIL, partly due the fact that she has the IQ of a Jaffa Cake. She is very skilled at spending FIL’s money and manipulating people so that she enjoys the lifestyle of low ranking royal , she gets chauffeured about and likes shopping and occasionally will offer up a bit of volunteer work so she can post about it on social media with her latest fashion purchases carefully shoehorned into the frame.
MIL had an event today at the house, I won’t name the organisation but it’s very ‘jam and Jerusalem’ and she is highly respected in this organisation so wanted Tilly, FIL and the dog out of the house so she could go full ‘hostess with the mostest’ and be sure there’d be no tantrums or humping or farting or whatever Tilly and FIL and the dog might have done to cramp her style…
so the day was engineered that FIL and DP would take the dog to the groomers, leave him there, wander around the shops and get some new shirts for FIL and I would take Tilly with me to a work thing (that I really didn’t want to) but I’m happy to do my bit. Tilly has behaved like an absolute cockwomble all day, she has complained about everything, offended my colleagues and friends and embarrassed me profusely because for once she was not the centre of the universe and none of these people were responding to her Disney Princess energy. I have spoken to her several times about her tone and what she’s saying and literally begged her to behave. In the end I’d had enough and left her outside a pub.
I walked home and poured myself a large glass of wine and waited for the shit to hit the fan.
I text DP and told him and he said he was on his way home. I was pleased. A few minutes later , two very drunk and very wet gentlemen and a bemused spaniel appear in my kitchen. I’m just drying the dog when FIL’s phone rings, it’s MIL he puts her on speakerphone…
she is nothing short of apoplectic, SIL apparently had to ride the train the full 5 stops home alone ( the horror!) has soaking wet hair ( thoughts and prayers) and burst into MILs meeting sobbing and hyperventilating and then for the crescendo, threw herself onto the floor and pretended to be sick. MIL has had to put her to bed and I quote ‘forgot to serve the canapés’ because of the drama.
pissed FIL and DP ( yes they went to the pub rather than shopping) have simply howled with laughter into the phone and hung up. my name is now of course mud with MIL and SIL and I have the rest of the family holding up at mine because FIL ignored missed calls from TIlly which is why she had to travel home in the rain and is now on her deathbed.

OP posts:
dapsnotplimsolls · 14/02/2024 18:56

Jaffa Cake Tilly, surely?

NalafromtheLionKing · 14/02/2024 19:01

My questions are:

  1. Does Tilly also taste like a Jaffa cake?
  2. Which one(s) fart, hump and tantrum. Are all three Tilly?
crockofshite · 14/02/2024 19:04

Calliopespa · 14/02/2024 18:19

Yes exactly! I thought that was very clear thinking and an excellent basis for distinguishing.

Wasn't it all about the VAT rate?

Maireas · 14/02/2024 19:06

crockofshite · 14/02/2024 19:04

Wasn't it all about the VAT rate?

It was.

YesItsMeIDontCare · 14/02/2024 19:08

Nobody has every said "ooo, I fancy a slice of jaffa cake with my tea".

Nobody has ever said "I fancy a slice of fairy cake with my tea" either, what's your point?

(Can you tell which side I'm on?)

Nanaof1 · 14/02/2024 19:09

minou123 · 14/02/2024 18:52

booksgalore123·
Cakes, I believe, as they go hard rather than soft when stale. Which sounds like a whole other thread.

Your taxpayer funds, hard at work 😅

Calliopespa
Yes exactly! I thought that was very clear thinking and an excellent basis for distinguishing.

It was the wrong decision. 😡
This is a hill I'm willing to die on.

Nobody has every said "ooo, I fancy a slice of jaffa cake with my tea".

As far as I'm concerned everyone treats them as biscuits.

Additional, it's never a good idea to base a decision on whether something goes hard or soft - well - not in my experience anyway 😂

@minou123 Additional, it's never a good idea to base a decision on whether something goes hard or soft - well - not in my experience anyway.

Truer words have seldom been written! 😆👏✍🍰or 🍪?

VampireWeekday · 14/02/2024 19:10

I find your thread completely and utterly believable because Tilly might as well be my sister. My family is less wealthy and less well connected than your DP's but aside from that, identical: overprotective and indulgent mother, jovial "it's not my problem, take me to the pub" father and me, the sibling expected to just go along with it all and be the main Tilly entertainer of the future. Our family stories are exactly like this: Tilly pretends to have a rat infestation, Tilly converts to Juadeism so we need to celebrate Hanukkah, millions of made up illnesses and the victim of thousands of eccentric wrongdoings (that always just so happen to coincide with something important of mine). It's Main Character syndrome.

BewitchedorBewildered · 14/02/2024 19:11

Sorry for starting the biscuit/cake derail!

During the court battle between Mcvitie's and Her Majesty's Customs and Excise, Mcvitie's baked a giant Jaffa Cake to prove that Jaffa cakes were really cakes and not biscuits. It was a long and costly dispute, but McVities finally tasted sweet success and Jaffa Cakes were finally recognised as chocolate covered cakes.

DartmoorDoughnut · 14/02/2024 19:11

I know it’s your life OP but I have thoroughly enjoyed your thread, I hope things remain quiet on the Tilly front!

crockofshite · 14/02/2024 19:13

VampireWeekday · 14/02/2024 19:10

I find your thread completely and utterly believable because Tilly might as well be my sister. My family is less wealthy and less well connected than your DP's but aside from that, identical: overprotective and indulgent mother, jovial "it's not my problem, take me to the pub" father and me, the sibling expected to just go along with it all and be the main Tilly entertainer of the future. Our family stories are exactly like this: Tilly pretends to have a rat infestation, Tilly converts to Juadeism so we need to celebrate Hanukkah, millions of made up illnesses and the victim of thousands of eccentric wrongdoings (that always just so happen to coincide with something important of mine). It's Main Character syndrome.

How long did she keep up with the Judaism conversion? Until Yom Kippur?

Nanaof1 · 14/02/2024 19:16

BewitchedorBewildered · 14/02/2024 19:11

Sorry for starting the biscuit/cake derail!

During the court battle between Mcvitie's and Her Majesty's Customs and Excise, Mcvitie's baked a giant Jaffa Cake to prove that Jaffa cakes were really cakes and not biscuits. It was a long and costly dispute, but McVities finally tasted sweet success and Jaffa Cakes were finally recognised as chocolate covered cakes.

Edited

It sounds like the day it was finally decided that a Jaffa cake, was, indeed, a cake, should become a national holiday.
Being on this side of the pond, I have never had a Jaffa cake and I feel that I have missed out on life now.
Could there, perhaps, be a USA version and I have just missed the connection?

I cannot believe I have lived almost 70 years and not had a Jaffa cake. It almost feels as though those years have been waisted wasted.

Helplessandheartbroke · 14/02/2024 19:19

@Nanaof1 jaffa cakes are amazing! They're my sons snack before bed most nights! Worth a trip to the UK!

minou123 · 14/02/2024 19:19

YesItsMeIDontCare · 14/02/2024 19:08

Nobody has every said "ooo, I fancy a slice of jaffa cake with my tea".

Nobody has ever said "I fancy a slice of fairy cake with my tea" either, what's your point?

(Can you tell which side I'm on?)

😂
I bet you can guess which side I'm on.

I have seen that! I witnessed 2 women half a fairy cake.because they couldn't manage a full one. But they were the types that eat 1 carrot and declare they are full, so they may not be the best example.
😂

Sorry for the Jaffa Cake VAT derail.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 14/02/2024 19:25

I forgot to add to this… there’s not a Tilly in our extended family but my SIL can be a pain in the arse at times. But because she got a double first from Oxford, is very clever etc then she gets away with a lot. She’s also very very stubborn. Pre DC she’d be in the centre of the city where her parents live when she visited and have an argument with her DM, usually over shopping - her DM enjoys shopping and likes to do it with her DD who she doesn’t see a lot. DD/SIL hates shopping though! She pulled these stunts a lot, in west end of London etc. So on one occasion I was staying with them for Xmas with my then DP. The men went off to rugby/pub. Women went shopping, I was also with a female family friend and suddenly SIL and her DM had an argument and stormed off separately leaving me wondering where they’d gone. Not answering their phones. I went off with family friend to a cafe and waited their return.

Then one year we all went on a family holiday abroad. SIL was behaving erratically throughout, calling a perfectly nice waitress a bitch, not to her face though! Then one day I went with them to a hotel they and I had transferred to with a nice pool and spa, and there was an issue with my room being ready. I asked DB if I could leave valuables in their safe rather than at reception and he agreed. We then went on a day out nearby and I realised I needed cash and a debit card which I’d left in the safe. DB suggested returning with me via bus there so we did that and had a quick drink in the hotel bar before returning to meet SIL and family. We missed the return bus, had to walk but weren’t that late back. We found SIL and her DPs sitting by a cafe. On arrival there SIL screamed and shouted like a banshee at us, jumping up and down and accusing us of putting her DF at risk (he has a health condition and is disabled) but we’d texted and rang them but due to location it was hard to get a signal. I’d had enough after this and walked off saying nothing and back to the hotel we were all in. It was our last night and I chose to eat by myself in the restaurant. When we returned to UK SIL had to apologise to me as I wasn’t speaking to her as I wasn’t having her throw tantrums with me. Funnily enough she’s never done this again! She also didn’t do this behaviour when seeing my DPs. These women and their behaviour is very tiring! I’m not saying I’ve been an angel either as I haven’t but at least try to control it and don’t let it rule yours and others lives.

Turnbacknowbeforeitstoolate · 14/02/2024 19:27

Please continue the biscuit/ cake detail. I’m enjoying it while simultaneously trying to deal with the resident twats efforts at tiling earlier… talk about performative. He’s literally just made a mess in here and done a shocking job. I may have to stick the radio on and crack on myself… how hard can it be? Biscuit or cake ? 🤣 🍷

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 14/02/2024 19:28

This is amazing!

Trelow · 14/02/2024 19:43

My lord this had me in stitches, I'm not sure what a cockwomble is but I will definitely be adding it to my vocabulary. You should absolutely write a book!

LlynTegid · 14/02/2024 19:45

I think this thread could go into a certain mid market newspaper, known for a headline in 1936.

You may have noticed that the price of cake has fallen and contributed to the stable inflation rate announced today. No mention of an 18th century French Queen of Austrian birth though.

Hope this thread does not lead to panic buying of cakes.

Headinthesand21 · 14/02/2024 19:48

You really cheered me up, thanks OP
love the Jaffa cake bit!
Good on you

AllTheChaos · 14/02/2024 19:49

GrumpyPanda · 14/02/2024 17:39

Just here to reassure OP that one single slice of pizza is nothing to a dog. Now if it were nine entire not-fit-for-paying-guests pizzas... ("I've always been curious just how many pizzas that dog can eat" said the friendly restaurant owner.)

Dear God! Did the dog survive?!

minou123 · 14/02/2024 19:50

All this talk about jaffa cakes, hmmm there is something about the power of suggestion.

Fuck it - I've put Jaffa cakes on the shopping list.

Although, I'll be eating them as biscuits, as normal people do #notacake

JudgeJ · 14/02/2024 19:51

Elvis1956 · 13/02/2024 17:44

Why does Tilly have to go first?
Why did mil forget the snacks (we're not posh enough for canapes)
What did the committee of the wi have to say about it...Will mil be drummed out, have her jam pan removed?

Presumably the WI tried to help, singing 'Bring me my chariot of fire' to get the daughter upstairs.

AllTheChaos · 14/02/2024 19:53

There was actually a legal case, op, regarding whether Jaffa cakes are cakes or biscuits, due to the VAT implications! I knew the economist who worked on the case. Essentially, a biscuit goes soft when stale, a cake goes hard, and therein lies a VAT-based price differential of 20%…

Incidentally, like so many others here, I love your writing and would welcome the change to read more! Or buy your first book! And knowing the world of landed gentry through my ex-laws, I was horribly reminded of people from my past shudders genteelly

Calliopespa · 14/02/2024 19:56

Maireas · 14/02/2024 19:06

It was.

Indeed it was. And the decision left them zero rated so that Jaffa cake lovers could rejoice. But more importantly the quintessential feature of a biscuit ought really to be its crispness. The word itself comes from the french meaning twice cooked ( they were baked first then moved to a cooler oven to crisp or something like that.) The moisture content of cake is higher. Jaffa cakes have Genoise sponge everyone knows should not be crisp but … well, spongy. But the ageing thing I especially liked. The big question is where would it leave American style cookies? I think the answer has to be cake! ( moist, not crisp and go hard not soft as they age).

JudgeJ · 14/02/2024 19:57

IsthisthereallifeIsthisjustfantasy · 13/02/2024 19:14

Yawn.

I love pompous posts where posters try to establish themselves as being so superior but I do feel sorry for any children they may have, being raised in such a humourless home.

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