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AIBU?

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So what do we do? We’re all in the doghouse!

708 replies

Turnbacknowbeforeitstoolate · 13/02/2024 16:54

Names have been changed to protect the innocent and deranged alike.
currently sat in my living room with two drunk men and a damp spaniel who are refusing to leave or answer their phones and it’s all my fault…
The background is that DP and I have been together some years now and he comes from a pretty well to do British home with two eccentric parents and one thoroughly batshit sister. We’ll call the sister ‘Tilly’ and she is the catalyst of all chaos and is the main character in all family dramas.
DP and I both work in the arts and are very well versed in the ways of the drama queen and the ego fiend and are very good at handling hard work people so we muddle along with Tilly and do our best to include her. FIL is ex military and bloody hilarious at times, a bit old fashioned but overall pleasant.
MIL is an extremely overprotective and epitomises the bored middle class housewife and frankly it’s a shame they stopped giving out Valium on the NHS a couple decades ago because she’d benefit somewhat.
Tilly has never had a job or been to university or even attended a drs appointment on her own, partly due to a weird codependent relationship with MIL, partly due the fact that she has the IQ of a Jaffa Cake. She is very skilled at spending FIL’s money and manipulating people so that she enjoys the lifestyle of low ranking royal , she gets chauffeured about and likes shopping and occasionally will offer up a bit of volunteer work so she can post about it on social media with her latest fashion purchases carefully shoehorned into the frame.
MIL had an event today at the house, I won’t name the organisation but it’s very ‘jam and Jerusalem’ and she is highly respected in this organisation so wanted Tilly, FIL and the dog out of the house so she could go full ‘hostess with the mostest’ and be sure there’d be no tantrums or humping or farting or whatever Tilly and FIL and the dog might have done to cramp her style…
so the day was engineered that FIL and DP would take the dog to the groomers, leave him there, wander around the shops and get some new shirts for FIL and I would take Tilly with me to a work thing (that I really didn’t want to) but I’m happy to do my bit. Tilly has behaved like an absolute cockwomble all day, she has complained about everything, offended my colleagues and friends and embarrassed me profusely because for once she was not the centre of the universe and none of these people were responding to her Disney Princess energy. I have spoken to her several times about her tone and what she’s saying and literally begged her to behave. In the end I’d had enough and left her outside a pub.
I walked home and poured myself a large glass of wine and waited for the shit to hit the fan.
I text DP and told him and he said he was on his way home. I was pleased. A few minutes later , two very drunk and very wet gentlemen and a bemused spaniel appear in my kitchen. I’m just drying the dog when FIL’s phone rings, it’s MIL he puts her on speakerphone…
she is nothing short of apoplectic, SIL apparently had to ride the train the full 5 stops home alone ( the horror!) has soaking wet hair ( thoughts and prayers) and burst into MILs meeting sobbing and hyperventilating and then for the crescendo, threw herself onto the floor and pretended to be sick. MIL has had to put her to bed and I quote ‘forgot to serve the canapés’ because of the drama.
pissed FIL and DP ( yes they went to the pub rather than shopping) have simply howled with laughter into the phone and hung up. my name is now of course mud with MIL and SIL and I have the rest of the family holding up at mine because FIL ignored missed calls from TIlly which is why she had to travel home in the rain and is now on her deathbed.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 14/02/2024 09:52

Willyoujustbequiet · 14/02/2024 09:21

See we wouldn't think mocking skin colour or sexuality was ok. But mocking mental capacity is apparently perfectly valid.

I think this is the type of mental capacity that relates to lack of deployment rather than actual dearth of ability. Am I right, OP, in suspecting that if the gentleman was hot enough and his interests lay in the direction of Euclidean geometry, Tilly would be perfectly capable of devouring “The Elements” in a short space of time? Some Tilly types are simply sheltered from the need for mental exertion and actually find the image quite useful.

JanisMoplin · 14/02/2024 09:52

Flamme · 14/02/2024 08:10

I'm envisaging Tilly as a kind of female version of a younger Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Tilly reminds me of "Honey" in Four Weddings and Funeral ( Hugh Grant's sister)

reallyworriedjobhunter · 14/02/2024 09:58

Title should be from the first line...

'The Innocent and The Derranged'

LemonadeSunshine · 14/02/2024 10:10

'IQ of a Jaffa cake'. I'm dead.

Grrrpredictivetex · 14/02/2024 10:17

Loving this thread.

WhatWouldHopperDo · 14/02/2024 10:22

WhateverTrevorrr · 13/02/2024 20:12

How else would we know that they don't find it funny? It's extremely pertinent information and I don't see how the thread could possibly continue without it.

Also we wouldn't know how incredibly superior their 'what is funny' threshold is and what sad and pathetic beings we are for having a laugh at something on the internet.

NomNomYum · 14/02/2024 10:43

Fionaville · 13/02/2024 17:16

This sounds like an episode of a middle class, BBC sitcom.
The choices are have a few gins yourself, so you can laugh about it all too. Or take a cup if tea to bed and have a read. I'd ignore MIL and Tilly for a while.

Anyone else seeing Lucy Punch as Tilly?

So what do we do? We’re all in the doghouse!
SerafinasGoose · 14/02/2024 10:46

WhatWouldHopperDo · 14/02/2024 10:22

Also we wouldn't know how incredibly superior their 'what is funny' threshold is and what sad and pathetic beings we are for having a laugh at something on the internet.

It's a welcome change from the usual complaining tone of threads about annoying in-laws. Okay so the nuisance capacity of The Tilly can be considerable: I've known one in the past and have firmly distanced myself because I have neither time nor inclination to humour her. But surely extracting some entertainment from the situation is a better, more positive response than seething in angry silence and then complaining to anyone who'll listen. What a very British response that is to the average thorn in our side.

OP sounds very forebearing given the circumstances. If at 28 'Tilly' is really incapable of going five railway stops on her own then she's seriously incapacitated and needs a far higher level of care than her extended family members can provide. There's also such a thing as learned helplessness. And with parents like these, Tilly is in an optimum position for learning it.

Mangerine · 14/02/2024 10:48

Howling 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Woodyandbuzz1 · 14/02/2024 10:51

There's lots of different types of 'senses of humour'. None of them are right or wrong!

Fionaville · 14/02/2024 10:52

NomNomYum · 14/02/2024 10:43

Anyone else seeing Lucy Punch as Tilly?

Perfect casting! 😆

Maireas · 14/02/2024 10:56

Tilly is the dog, I think it's one of those "blind alley" stories.

whiteswan87 · 14/02/2024 10:58

This is hilarious. Really cheered me up!😆

Turnbacknowbeforeitstoolate · 14/02/2024 10:59

@ButterBastardBeans did she freeze to death inside a locked garage a few feet from the door switch?

OP posts:
Copen · 14/02/2024 11:05

Such fun OP! I have a BIL, Ben, who is a bit slow and we call him 'biscuit IQ' too! Not to his face of course, as it's important to include them when one can, isn't it? DH and I are bohemian so are very open minded about things like that.

Last week I took Ben shopping. He's never worked, left home, or gone to an appointment by himself so likes someone to go with him. He was being incredibly annoying, so I just left him there! MIL said he was crying when he got in, but I was gin ahoy by that time so didn't give two hoots!

ButterBastardBeans · 14/02/2024 11:05

Turnbacknowbeforeitstoolate · 14/02/2024 10:59

@ButterBastardBeans did she freeze to death inside a locked garage a few feet from the door switch?

No, it was far more stupid than that. I won't say what it was but she had very obvious signs of a fatal medical condition that she ignored for many many months. Even when advised by a medic and given a letter to go to hospital to get a scan to see how advanced the issue was, she just went home and carried on with her 'Disney Princess' life because she didn't want to lose her hair.

In the end she lost her hair and everything else with it.

DriftingDora · 14/02/2024 11:09

The spaniel did it.....no, hang on, the butler did it....no, sorry it was one of the two damp men.

I want what you're drinking, OP.

Calliopespa · 14/02/2024 11:09

ButterBastardBeans · 14/02/2024 11:05

No, it was far more stupid than that. I won't say what it was but she had very obvious signs of a fatal medical condition that she ignored for many many months. Even when advised by a medic and given a letter to go to hospital to get a scan to see how advanced the issue was, she just went home and carried on with her 'Disney Princess' life because she didn't want to lose her hair.

In the end she lost her hair and everything else with it.

That’s actually just really sad. 😔

Upsetmother12 · 14/02/2024 11:12

Beautifully told 😂

Turnbacknowbeforeitstoolate · 14/02/2024 11:14

Morning. For those who wanted updates on the welfare of all concerned, I’m pleased to be able to provide a comprehensive status on all parties now in order of their current favour in my personal affections.
Charlie: has a pizza hangover because two stupid men left the pizza out in the middle of the night and he’s consumed an entire slice, he’s on chicken and rice today and of course smells like a rotting corpse recently extracted from a Louisiana swamp.
FIL : surprisingly chipper, received a call from MIL regarding a ‘damp smell in the bathroom, possible leak’ he didn’t make it up the ranks in the army by being naive and has sent George to investigate and test the waters. George also under strict instructions to consume the canapés and shower MIL with compliments. George is a legend.
Dp: mildly hungover, pretending not to be, quietly faffing about in the bathroom we started renovating in November. May hang tiles today, not holding my breath.
MIL: not heard from her directly. Hasn’t died of the fictitious heart complaint and seems distracted by wet bathroom.
Tilly: made it through the night following her ordeal. Has updated social media with countless selfies from yesterday of her looking fabulous and important at the event . Added 3 or 4 carefully selected unflattering ones of me - make of that what you will. She’s currently receiving several heart and star eye emojis which will be reinflating her little ego balloon brain and healing her trauma no doubt.

game plan is: send FIL and DP into town to fetch up some shirts as requested by MIL yesterday, hide receipt so she doesn’t know they never bothered yesterday. Have strictly barred them from entering licensed establishments. Nurse Charlie’s guts back to health and give him a good freshen up.
feed the whole lot of them and send them home mid afternoon.
open a bottle of wine just incase it all kicks off over there and we are dragged into something.
one single message from work best friend this morning: ‘Please don’t breed from that family!’ 🤣

OP posts:
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 14/02/2024 11:27

This all sounds hilarious and believable and bonkers, but it does happen in some families. No idea for solutions but agree with best friend who advises not to breed with them!

My cat's name is Tilly by the way! But she's more mature and intelligent than your SIL I think...

Turnbacknowbeforeitstoolate · 14/02/2024 11:27

Calliopespa · 14/02/2024 11:09

That’s actually just really sad. 😔

Yeah it is. It’s bloody awful. 😞 I think Tilly, despite being on of the most obnoxious people on the planet will always listen to family when it’s something like this. I’d hope so anyway. I expect like others have said DP and I will replace her parents when they go. God help us.

OP posts:
Maireas · 14/02/2024 11:29

Why did you leave Tilly at the pub?
Apologies if you clarified this, but it is a saga..

StockpotSoup · 14/02/2024 11:30

blueshoes · 14/02/2024 02:02

Ah an echo chamber, then. No dissenting views allowed, only those with a questionable sense of humour who enjoy the fake writing style are welcome. Got it.

It’s not that these views aren’t “allowed”. It’s more the arrogance of the assumption that anyone gives the tiniest of shits.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 14/02/2024 11:32

NomNomYum · 14/02/2024 10:43

Anyone else seeing Lucy Punch as Tilly?

No - Amanda in Motherland is actually quite clever and I believe Lucy Punch is too.

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