To Drink wine most nights?

[Monique10]

I always try to have 2 days off per week but the volume is creeping up. I used to only have one or two glasses whilst cooking dinner but now its gone upto 3, maybe a bottle. I am never drunk and I do consume it over a few hours. I have loads of alcohol in the house that I dont feel the need to touch but white wine is so good! I also put loads of ice in it. My mum and dad drank so much and I seen things I shouldnt have seen growing up, I am never drunk though and fully in control but maybe I am on downward path? what do you think?

Yeah I don't miss the wine shits, I thought it was my gallbladder causing horrible poos every morning!

@HallieBam , the quote is" daily" not weekly totals. The OP is nowhere near this .

For me, cooking is the trigger. Between working (from home mostly) and the DC etc, I don't get a lot of downtime during the day (barring some MN!) and so I've slipped into a habit where I cook dinner with a glass of wine and something on the tv at the same time. It's my downtime.

If I'm not cooking dinner for some reason or it's just heating something up or whatever... viola, no issue and I don't miss the wine at all. It's definitely about the habit and triggers.

And @HallieBam , please stop posting as a " substance misuse worker ' as either you are not, or you need some retraining / need to learn to read your own advice correctly . .

no, they don’t.

I started that way then progressed to 1.5/2 on a weekend. Stopped that years ago but kept with the weekend 1 to 1.5 bottles each day.

I now have a problem with my liver, Dr is talking cirrhosis (diagnosis in progress) & it really really wasn't worth this

@Monique10 , there is a mumsnet alchohol support forum . You may want to get your thread moved to there for more support . Let us know how you get on over the next few days .

I've got the nhs Drink Free app where you mark each day you don't drink. It gives a star ⭐️ on each day you don't drink which helps me if I feel tempted. I don't want to put a gap in my wall of stars 😁.

You’re not an alcoholic. An alcoholic would be denying it!
It’s habit thats all - find something else to do, a bath, walk, book whatever you enjoy.
For instance, I wake up and immediately have to make a cup of tea, then after school run I MUST have a coffee, its the same thing, I’m not dependant on it, but just a habit…
I really like the McGuigan Zero red and white if I want a grown up drink. DH really rates Guinness Zero. I don't like coke or squash and water does get a bit dull sometimes, just find something else to drink as a treat.

Look OP, stop beating yourself up. You've recognised you're drinking is increasing and you're addressing it. You're not an alcoholic but you are a heavy drinker and it's wise to cut back.

I've been a big wine drinker in the past. In the 80s we used to always have wine in the fridge at work and crack it open at 5.30pm. We used to go to the pub on a Friday lunchtime too and not get much work done in the afternoon. Then, after the DC came along, like you (and like pretty much all of our friends), I'd look forward to a glass or two in the evening as a reward. DH and I could easily drink a bottle between us most nights. The kids never suffered, I never felt any ill effects from it and never felt any benefits of doing dry January. On a night out I could happily drink a bottle of prosecco myself. But like you I recognised my alcohol consumption was increasing, especially during covid lockdown, and I too decided to cut back.

You are not a bad person, a bad mother, a raging alcoholic etc, you're just realising your drinking is on the increase and wondering if that's normal. Now you know that it's not you will deal with it - no drama.

As it happens the menopause came along and I now can't even stand the smell of white wine. I enjoy the odd glass of red but even that has started giving me a rash, so in my 60s I'm practically teetotal! I do still enjoy a drop of Irish whiskey though.

OP don't feel guilty or ashamed. It's a wasted emotion. I also grew up with alcoholic parents (actually. Most of my family) and I can still recall clear as day the shock I was in when my friends told me that their parents barely drank anything. It was so normalised!
Anyway, for what it's worth I got to where you are right now and I was so tired, sad, lethargic all the time. Ex/DH is an alcoholic so it was around me all the time.
Since we moved out I now only have a drink if the DC aren't here (which is every other weekend) and I do try and restrict it to one or two. It helps not having any booze in the house at all so I can't be tempted. I have cans of coke in the fridge and/or lemonade and a significant amount of herbal teas instead!
I've lost a stone and a half since I cut it right back and can see a clear difference in my general mood when I've had a drink. It's enough to put me off having one now!
Try not to feel guilty about it and give yourself a pat on the back for recognising the issue and trying to change.

Justifying it by saying that you add loads of ice jumped out at me. This alone says you have a problem.

I think it helps if you can work out what "rules" you won't break. So look at your routine, things you do and don't want to do and then go from there.
If you need to give yourself a rule I.e. Will only drink on Saturdays, make sure it's achievable. There's nothing worse than setting yourself a target and not making it. It'll just make you feel worse.
If you work better not having "rules" but more flexible boundaries, I.e. I'll only drink 2 days out of 7, then do that instead

You have a problem, you know you do

I could very easily do this too OP. I like a drink most nights (a lockdown habit that I didn't kick) and have a high tolerance. I have a small glass (I measure it) , but I often want another and could even have another after that. But I'm always up early for the school runs with DD, I feel healthy, normal range BMI and go running most days.
Alcohol effects people differently.
Whilst what you are having is more than the recommended weekly limit, you are not an alcoholic. And for the record I know plenty of people who drink more than me, and than you.

Keep trying to limit it to one glass or have a day off so you aren't drinking too much. Do you like alcohol free wine? I found that it's the drink that's the habit not the alcohol for me. So occasionally I'll have an alcohol free drink and it's pretty much the same.
Also, barefoot white zinfandel -one of my favourites- is 6 units a bottle. So 2 bottles spread over a week, 12 units, is still below the weekly limit of 14 units.
Contrary to what you read on Mumsnet, not everyone who drinks regularly is an alcoholic. It's about awareness and moderation and it sounds like you are aware. Good luck x

Im not in denial, I am fully admitting it! I was not trying to say the ice made it better it just made me feel better when I was drinking it.

I drank in a very similar way to you Op when my DC were younger. I saw it as a reward for getting through the day. I stopped when I caught myself opening a second bottle one evening. I now don't drink any alcohol on a school night unless a special occasion.

I was very lucky and found it easy to cut down. I spent a few nights going to bed early with a book to break the habit initially. It took me a few weeks to physically feel better.

Good luck 🤞

Nope, but I'm the outlier. I very rarely drink and if I do it's a glass of gin or a white wine but it maybe happens 3/4 days a year. I dunno why people love drinking so much in Britain but honestly for your health and longevity I'd really make a conscious effort to cut back, even just a little xxx

I was shocked to learn how many calories are in a bottle of wine (or indeed any alcohol). It's quite shocking!

A lot of people do do this. People drink a lot more alcohol than they will admit, because it's not socially acceptable to broadcast it.

But yes, it's a slippery slope. I once was a bottle of wine a night person. Then it was a bottle plus a few ciders or mixed drinks. Then two bottles. Then 3 bottles. I ended up bloated and feeling miserable with considerable liver inflammation and an incurable pancreatic condition.

I'm sober now and I don't miss it. You actually don't realise when you're drinking how much it's affecting you. It will be affecting your skin and your inflammation levels. And your gut health. And your sleep. And it will age you. I look so much younger now than I did when I was drinking. I also lost a stone by doing nothing other than cutting out wine and switching to cake.

But your drinking level is not unusual. People won't come on here and admit it. But it's certainly very normal amongst many people I know and many people in my sober communities before they quit. The good thing is that you're at a place where it's possible to stop without any negative consequences and your body will bounce back really easily.

I think 'alcoholic' means different things to different people.
Perhaps labelling yourself at this point is not helpful.
I would suggest cutting down - and this comes from having the same drinking pattern as you. I found I could happily drink a bottle a night without being drunk-drunk or having too much of a hangover in the morning.
Now I drink less. I get tipsy easier and feel bloody horrid in the morning... which in turn makes me want to drink less.
I guess before I was either a bit drunk or a bit hungover all the time!
Do it now before you can't.

OP, why dont you find another way to reward yourself for getting through the day? A nice herb tea, a guided meditation, paint your nails, etc etc. I used to drink as a reward and treat and it was a lot easier not to do it when I replaced it with something else.

Every day is too often. But you don't have to give up wine entirely. Try having an alcohol-free month to reset your tolerance and then reintroducing it to a maximum of two small glasses on a maximum of three days a week.

If you drink a bottle and dont feel drunk you've just got used to it. You are intoxicated and shouldn't operate machinery or drive so you couldn't take a child to hospital and if you did get them to hospital the drs could tell your drunk and report you.....my sister in law had this.

Yes, Nouhty by Thomson & Scott is nice

Also, Freixenet 0 and Kylie

Ive tried others, but they were too sweet for me