To Drink wine most nights?

[Monique10]

I always try to have 2 days off per week but the volume is creeping up. I used to only have one or two glasses whilst cooking dinner but now its gone upto 3, maybe a bottle. I am never drunk and I do consume it over a few hours. I have loads of alcohol in the house that I dont feel the need to touch but white wine is so good! I also put loads of ice in it. My mum and dad drank so much and I seen things I shouldnt have seen growing up, I am never drunk though and fully in control but maybe I am on downward path? what do you think?

Just to put a bit of balance, I don't think you are an alcoholic. Lots of people do drink this amount and aren't alcoholics. It really doesn't make you a terrible person or a bad mother. However is it the optimum thing to do for your health, no, not at all.

I've drunk like this before and didn't feel drunk either, I don't think it made me rubbish mum. I chose to cut down as I feel better not drinking as much. I'm not drinking at the moment but if and when I start again it tends to be just occasional weekend drinking with friends or special occasions and then the hangovers give me a sharp reminder of not making it a regular thing. The hangovers are definitely more noticeable when you give up for a while and really put me off now. Especially if I've had a glass of wine with a friend in the afternoon. It hits me an hour later and it's horrible!

Anyway if you give up for a month or so you will barely think about it after a couple of weeks.

Really don't judge yourself so harshly, it's not something to be ashamed of. You will get a variety of reactions on here, lots of people on Mumsnet feel very strongly about shaming people that drink more than a glass every few months. Your current level of drinking, whilst well over suggested levels, is not causing you to be an embarrassing drunk or behave appallingly so whilst it's best to cut down, don't beat yourself up about having done it, that won't serve you at all. Just cut down and feel good about being healthier.

How's your weight OP?

I drank a similar amount for a long time. Before Christmas, I just stopped and now only drink one day per week. I've dropped a stone (I wasn't overweight before) and feel immeasurably better. My anxiety has nearly gone, my head is clear, my skin is glowing.

Try it, see how you feel.

I lost all my baby weight and got down to about 9stone 12 -I am 5 ft 8, I am now about 12 stone so have put weight on but everybody says I look better for it?

I can do this!

A lot of people drink like this, it's so normalised in our culture so please don't be too hard on yourself. That doesn't mean it's not too much though and in the kindest way, you must know that to have written your post.

Check out sassysobermum and greyareadrinker on Instagram. I've followed them since I went alcohol free last January and they've really helped me to reframe how I look at alcohol.

It’s far too much and far too often. If you stopped you’d save a shit ton of money and you’d drop a stone in 2 months.

Don’t you ever worry about needing to drive?

It's far too much.
I'd keep it to social gatherings once in a while, not as a part of daily occurrence.
I used to have wine after a tough day with kids, and it helped for a short term, until headache kicks in and sleep gets affected. Now I hardly have a drink as I treat it as non necessary thing to have.
Watch this video, helps to put it into perspective.

No - I was drinking exactly like you. I replaced weekdays with fancy kombucha and the odd Coke Zero or decaf tea - my sleep is also so much better and I’m pretty sure my mental health has improved too. Honestly I used to think I could never do it but it turns out it was mainly habit. I also downloaded try dry - once you see the cost savings as well it’s a real motivator

Yes it's too much and yes, you can do it. Good luck!

BTW, how do you know you aren't drunk?

You know the answer.

You have two choices the way I see it, stop completely or get the quantity under control. A typical bottle has 10 units, the max per week you should be drinking is 14. Assuming you ha a drink or two outside the house, the max you should be drinking at home is one bottle per week!

My advice, and I'm not medically trained but have relatives in your situation I've helped, is to increase alcohol free to 3 nights, find a drink you do enjoy eg I like herbal tea if an evening. Then buy one bottle, just one with a screw top and that's it for the week, no more allowed, try watering it down, pouring later, whatever it takes but that's your weekly limit. If you can stick to that most weeks you can then allow yourself an extra allowance on special occasions.

Its this or tee total!

My dad comes out with the same justifications to enjoy a drink or three. In reality, he's a functioning alcholic.

This may sound silly but have you tried grape juice? It's delicious if you find a good one so could be a good alternative treat drink. If you drink mainly at home while cooking, train yourself so wine is no longer the default. Do baby steps so first going back to 1, then 2 then 3 days where wine isn't the default. The app for Dry Jan is good or there will be other similar apps to help you actually track your drinking.
I only drink when socialising, so I've trained myself that my first drink out is always a soft one. This is a rule for me and I stick to it even if someone else is buying, or there's a good deal on wine/cocktails, whatever - otherwise it's too easy to make an exception and creep back to a bad habit.

literally all of my friends say they cannot wait for wine 0 clock etc. It is so normalised but I have realised I went better for myself and my children.

I’ve drunk three times since Christmas, all with meals out. This is bonkers stop midweek drinking!

Try Dry app is helpful for recording what you drink

Also Myfitnesspal app for recording food, drink and exercise

I don't think you are an alcoholic, but I think you'll feel happier with better habits

This may well be true - and I'm the same in terms of thinking it and wishing for it - but in reality it's only a couple of nights a week, and if during the week, only one medium sized glass, if at all. More often than not I don't.

All your friends are probably bullshitting. People assume all Mums are waiting for wine o’clock. It’s a bit of a stereotype of middle-class Mums.

Someone said to me after a manic kids party last weekend, ‘oh I bet you can’t wait to crack open the wine tonight!’ I just laughed and smiled. It wouldn’t occur to me to have a drink at home. I obviously didn’t say that as I’d sound like a patronising/ sanctimonious / self righteous twat, but I’ve never done this.

You're not an alcoholic! This is what alcohol does, your useage creeps up and up. That's why your friends are saying they can't wait for wine o'clock, because they're in the cycle too. One leads to two, two leads to 3 and so on.

Why not come and join us on the dry January thread? Many of us are still dry or cutting down massively and intending to do so for the long term. There's an alcohol board here too.

I probably drank the same as you before doing dry Jan and now I've got it down to half a bottle of wine one night at the weekend at most.

Alcoholic is not really a helpful term as it has so many stereotypes attached to it. However your drinking levels are unhealthy and especially as they are increasing. Your tolerance will increase and so the more you drink, the more you will need to drink to get the same feelings that you crave. You need to either completely stop, which, to be honest would be best to detox your liver or cut down drastically both the amount and days you drink.

My cousin is an alcoholic, to the point where her parents have ad to take control of her child as she was missing school etc and not being looked after. I used to say OMG how could she do that, this will be me! :(

@Monique10 don’t beat yourself up, I could easily have what you are having. It tastes nice and you feel relaxed. It is mainly a habit though so even say absolutely no alcohol until Friday and see how you get on! Keep busy in the evening until you break the habit ❤️

Don't be too hard on yourself as you've recognised it's a problem or you'd never have posted. Yes it is far too much but you can stop now. Just have a cuppa instead or some water

I lived in France and I used to drink like this, maybe more, it is more common over there than it is here. I think fewer people drink as much now in the UK than they used to, especially younger people and AF alternatives are more common and taste better - not wine though, AF wine is awful!

I drink a lot less now, I noticed I put on a lot of weight when I gave up, think I was craving all the sugar (I don’t usually have a sweet tooth), also I find wine a appetite suppressant for me. I can’t say I’ve noticed an improvement in my sleep, skin, etc., but it’s been years now so probably just an age thing!

Don't worry, just don't have a drink tonight and take it from there. Allow one bottle per week in house if you aren't going out. Then that's couple of glasses Friday and Saturday. It's really doable. If you know you are going out then don't have that that week.

Just to add to my previous post, when I gave up alcohol I realised it wasn't actually the alcohol I enjoyed but the psychological side of 'rewarding' myself after a hard day for example. So now I have Marks and Spencer Fizzero (the pink version is lovely) in a Prosecco glass on a Saturday or bring some with me if there's an occasion like a wedding or family get together. For me it made it much easier to break the habit. Being able to drive anytime I want and always waking up with a clear head and being present for my daughter is far more enjoyable than the momentary buzz of drinking wine.