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AIBU?

Taking baby to hospital scan?

64 replies

Roundgreysoft · 12/02/2024 22:55

I'm not sure what I expect from this thread but I am really stressing and DH is asleep/has said "talk to me in the morning please"....

I have an scan at the hospital tomorrow after being in the emergency dept this weekend. Scan only booked today. I was hospitalised for a week recently and symptoms came back quickly after discharge. Home with antibiotics, and scan tomorrow (ultrasound). When the consultant asked what days I could do I said "I literally have absolutely no childcare options on Tuesday and Wednesday so Monday, please, as I have options on that day".
They couldn't fit me in on Monday (today). I explained I'll have to bring my baby (4 months) with me because I really have nobody for tomorrow. Eldest can go to work with DH (who can't take any more time off as he's been off for ages with me being admitted) but nothing for baby. They said if I had no childcare then I didn't have another option so it was what it was, but in my experience the admin staff say different things to clinicians.

I am seriously concerned they're going to turn me away, because every email they've sent me today says "NO CHILDREN CAN ATTEND" in big bold writing...

Are they likely to turn me away? I'm really worried! I can't wait for a new date because of the nature of the appointment. Has anyone else been in this position? Appt is early so baby and I will be on the way as phone lines open.

OP posts:
cariadlet · 12/02/2024 22:58

I wonder if the no children rule is because they don't want the risk of children running around, getting in the way, being a trip hazard etc.

Hopefully, they'll be ok with a baby who can be parked up in a pram/buggy while you have your scan.

LondonWasps · 12/02/2024 22:59

cariadlet · 12/02/2024 22:58

I wonder if the no children rule is because they don't want the risk of children running around, getting in the way, being a trip hazard etc.

Hopefully, they'll be ok with a baby who can be parked up in a pram/buggy while you have your scan.

Yes, almost certainly this.

Roundgreysoft · 12/02/2024 23:01

I really hope so. I'm not sure if I should remind them while I'm on route or just arrive with baby. I'm so worried about it as I've been really struggling with my health this weekend.
The antibiotics seem to be doing their job and I am fine to drive but I desperately need this scan to go ahead.

OP posts:
cariadlet · 12/02/2024 23:06

If you urgently need the scan and have no childcare options, then in your position, I would just turn up with your baby.

I hope that it works out for you. You don't need this stress on top of your health problems.

Princesspollyyy · 12/02/2024 23:06

What if you were a single parent with absolutely nobody to have your baby?

Seems a bit of a daft thing to put on the letter.

Roundgreysoft · 12/02/2024 23:16

I hope that it works out for you. You don't need this stress on top of your health problems.

Thank you. 3 weeks ago it was a life and death issue...thank god I am not as poorly now but I can't sleep for the worry of them cancelling my scan. Really don't know why they didn't remove that from the letter when I specifically said I'd have a baby with me...or, slot me in today! I was fairly relaxed about it until MIL couldn't fathom the idea of them letting a baby in.

What if you were a single parent with absolutely nobody to have your baby?

I think it is a really dangerous policy because it could mean women missing appointments, including pregnancy related ultrasounds if they can't access childcare.

OP posts:
Jas5mum · 12/02/2024 23:30

I think if baby is asleep/content in buggy then it'll be fine. I think its more that they can't be responsible for looking after toddlers whilst scanning you properly. Good luck, hope you get the answers you want x

lunar1 · 12/02/2024 23:31

You'll be fine, the rule is to stop people thinking it's a family outing, not for people with no other options.

I had to take my toddler when I miscarried. DH had just started an 8 hour surgery so couldn't leave and we'd just relocated for his job so had nobody local.

HipHipWhoRay · 12/02/2024 23:35

It will be fine. They don’t want kids running about, and for some other scans that involve radiation, you wouldn’t be able to bring them into the scan, so that can cause them a problem. But ultrasound, no radiation, babes in arms etc. will be absolutely fine. I wouldn’t phone, but just turn up.

KnowledgeableMomma · 12/02/2024 23:40

What happens when baby is awake and crying in the middle of your ultrasound?

emotionalpuddle · 12/02/2024 23:45

Going against the grain. Our hospital trust would turn you away. Our sonographers will not allow children in the rooms or to wait outside without a family member/adult present. It's now hospital policy and we have to turn people away weekly. It's awful but policy.

cariadlet · 12/02/2024 23:46

KnowledgeableMomma · 12/02/2024 23:40

What happens when baby is awake and crying in the middle of your ultrasound?

If you can't say anything helpful then I don't think there's any point saying anything at all.

The op has no choice.

If the baby is awake and crying then it will be awake and crying in the buggy where it's perfectly safe.

Distressing for op to have to listen to but it can't be helped. Distressing for the baby for a brief time during the scan then a cuddle from Mum and it's all forgotten.

KnowledgeableMomma · 12/02/2024 23:54

cariadlet · 12/02/2024 23:46

If you can't say anything helpful then I don't think there's any point saying anything at all.

The op has no choice.

If the baby is awake and crying then it will be awake and crying in the buggy where it's perfectly safe.

Distressing for op to have to listen to but it can't be helped. Distressing for the baby for a brief time during the scan then a cuddle from Mum and it's all forgotten.

This wasn't asked to be unhelpful, it was a genuine question as to whether OP had a plan in case it happened. Depending on what type of ultrasound this is, it can last anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. They won't stop and start the ultrasound if baby needs mom. I work in a different diagnostic dept. in the hospital (not radiology) but we are right next door to them and neither our dept. or theirs will allow children even in the waiting room. Just to prepare OP in case they turn her away.

trooc · 12/02/2024 23:57

cariadlet · 12/02/2024 22:58

I wonder if the no children rule is because they don't want the risk of children running around, getting in the way, being a trip hazard etc.

Hopefully, they'll be ok with a baby who can be parked up in a pram/buggy while you have your scan.

They don't want children there when they have to deliver bad news

DragonFly98 · 12/02/2024 23:58

emotionalpuddle · 12/02/2024 23:45

Going against the grain. Our hospital trust would turn you away. Our sonographers will not allow children in the rooms or to wait outside without a family member/adult present. It's now hospital policy and we have to turn people away weekly. It's awful but policy.

So the trust denies healthcare to people too poor to afford paid childcare with no local friends or family. That's appalling and putting baby's and mothers lives at risk.

Roundgreysoft · 13/02/2024 05:11

I've had one of these ultrasounds in the past and it took about 10 -15 minutes. We are trying to time feeds today so that it doesn't coincide with when the scan is although sometimes they don't run on time. If baby cries in the pram then it kind of is what it is, it isn't ideal.

This isn't a pregnancy scan or anything like that in terms of news I might receive. Annoyingly the reason I need this scan, and have had some very serious health issues, is a medical cock up with very rare complications.

I am going to try and ring them when phone lines open. I'll already be on the way to the hospital because it isn't nearby, I'm not sure what I will do if they say I can't bring him.

OP posts:
Roundgreysoft · 13/02/2024 05:14

The most annoying thing about this is if there was any way they could have seen me yesterday then I had childcare sorted. People were actually ready to help at the drop of a hat. I also have childcare Thursday and Friday but the scan really can't wait. It's just today and tomorrow I have no family able to help as everyone else has other serious stuff going on.

OP posts:
NotStylishOrBeautiful · 13/02/2024 05:18

If you can’t actually leave baby with anyone, could a friend go with you and sit outside with the baby? Or if it’s early, could DH start work late?

Roundgreysoft · 13/02/2024 05:22

If you can’t actually leave baby with anyone, could a friend go with you and sit outside with the baby? Or if it’s early, could DH start work late?

I don't have anyone that can help in any capacity today.
DH has been off work for a long time because of me being in hospital and will be in a bit of hot water asking to work different hours today. The hospital is a bit of a drive away (45 mins) and the receptionist said because mine is an emergency scan I might have to wait a few hours even though I have an appointment time (some emergency...).

OP posts:
Simonjt · 13/02/2024 05:25

When I was a lone parent I would book a babysitter for appointments etc, if it was a quick
appointment I would book someone nearer the hospital to us and they would watch him in the waiting room, hospital cafe etc. A few of them had had similar clients before who needed care for an appointment etc, and many would accept half a day rate to do it.

Roundgreysoft · 13/02/2024 05:25

The awkward thing is it is half term so any friends so might usually be a bit flexible to help are at home with their own children.

OP posts:
Roundgreysoft · 13/02/2024 05:27

When I was a lone parent I would book a babysitter for appointments etc, if it was a quick
appointment I would book someone nearer the hospital to us and they would watch him in the waiting room, hospital cafe etc. A few of them had had similar clients before who needed care for an appointment etc, and many would accept half a day rate to do it.


This scan was booked yesterday so very short notice, and I wouldn't leave a 4 month old with a stranger to be honest

OP posts:
MariaVT65 · 13/02/2024 05:30

emotionalpuddle · 12/02/2024 23:45

Going against the grain. Our hospital trust would turn you away. Our sonographers will not allow children in the rooms or to wait outside without a family member/adult present. It's now hospital policy and we have to turn people away weekly. It's awful but policy.

So breastfeeding mothers of tiny babies can’t access healthcare can they? Give over.

MariaVT65 · 13/02/2024 05:32

Op you have a very small baby, i would absolutely go.

Mumofthree8 · 13/02/2024 05:34

Your husbands employer doesn’t sound very nice, “I need to look after my 4 month old this morning so my wife (who was seriously ill/hospitalised last week) can have an emergency scan.” And they have said no?
take the baby but I would be concerned that they will turn you away as they will not want to set a precedence and may well have a strict policy.
i hope it works out for you and you manage to get it today.
maybe your husband needs to look for a more reasonable employer!

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