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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking baby to hospital scan?

64 replies

Roundgreysoft · 12/02/2024 22:55

I'm not sure what I expect from this thread but I am really stressing and DH is asleep/has said "talk to me in the morning please"....

I have an scan at the hospital tomorrow after being in the emergency dept this weekend. Scan only booked today. I was hospitalised for a week recently and symptoms came back quickly after discharge. Home with antibiotics, and scan tomorrow (ultrasound). When the consultant asked what days I could do I said "I literally have absolutely no childcare options on Tuesday and Wednesday so Monday, please, as I have options on that day".
They couldn't fit me in on Monday (today). I explained I'll have to bring my baby (4 months) with me because I really have nobody for tomorrow. Eldest can go to work with DH (who can't take any more time off as he's been off for ages with me being admitted) but nothing for baby. They said if I had no childcare then I didn't have another option so it was what it was, but in my experience the admin staff say different things to clinicians.

I am seriously concerned they're going to turn me away, because every email they've sent me today says "NO CHILDREN CAN ATTEND" in big bold writing...

Are they likely to turn me away? I'm really worried! I can't wait for a new date because of the nature of the appointment. Has anyone else been in this position? Appt is early so baby and I will be on the way as phone lines open.

OP posts:
TeachesOfPeaches · 13/02/2024 06:53

Just chance it. I had an abdominal scan and brought my 8 year old because im a single parent with no choice. The staff were fuming and told me off even though I explained my situation but they still did the scan as it was late evening and empty.

Mumoftwo1312 · 13/02/2024 07:00

Big London hospital near me with big "no children at scans" notice on every letter and at the scan department. So many people bring their kids anyway and no one bats an eyelid.

Babies are different from older kids anyway, the whole point is your baby won't be disruptive or upset by any news so no one will turn you away.

Good luck I hope it goes OK, and that you can get a bit of sleep this morning

HaPPy8 · 13/02/2024 07:04

You’d be turned away at my hospital OP. I really think inhoud husband has to step up here.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 13/02/2024 07:13

Would one of your older child's friends mums not help out? It's half term here too but in an emergency I would definitely hold a baby for a few hours until you were back.

Or as pp has suggested, book a babysitter to sit with baby in the waiting room. You say you wouldn't leave baby with a stranger but you'd rather potentially leave them alone and unattended? Some ultrasound rooms are very small and wouldn't fit a buggy in.

Birdsworth · 13/02/2024 07:22

They will know that the scan has been booked at short notice and that it is for something that a doctor has decided needs to be looked at as a matter of importance.

I agree with a previous poster that it's to stop whole families accompanying a patient.

I would not phone now, just go. You need the scan.

ooooohnoooooo · 13/02/2024 07:23

@Roundgreysoft it sounds like you've been having a horrible time, that must be so stressful. Take a breath. Have a cup of tea. You'll get through this.

In your circumstances I'd take the baby and see what happens.

Make sure you have snacks, water, phone charger (power pack if you have one) and nappies/change of clothes for baby in case of a long wait.

If you get there and they say no or get shitty, try to stay calm, and ask them to offer alternative solutions. Most people are nice and will be helpful but you might come across an arse, so be prepared. Stand your ground, be calm, re-explain the urgency and your situation and take it from there. In those circumstances I'd probably cry too 😳 (which might help on the sympathy front 😬).

I really hope that it all goes smoothly for you today and that you get some (good and reassuring ) answers soon.

X

PuttingDownRoots · 13/02/2024 07:31

They mean they can't look after children. If the baby can be in a pushchair in the room it might be ok. But they can't watch them in the waiting room.

Bbq1 · 13/02/2024 07:37

Where is your mil? Can't she have her gc for a couple of hours?

Londonrach1 · 13/02/2024 07:38

Sadly at my local hospital they will turn you away for a baby. It's not safe for the baby or child to be in the scan room. Yabu re this. Yanbu to want to scan asap. Worrying about the baby whilst you being scanned. Can you reschedule if they can offer a quick replacement appointment or find someone to watch the baby. Hope everything goes ok op xxx

Schpoons · 13/02/2024 07:47

Londonrach1 · 13/02/2024 07:38

Sadly at my local hospital they will turn you away for a baby. It's not safe for the baby or child to be in the scan room. Yabu re this. Yanbu to want to scan asap. Worrying about the baby whilst you being scanned. Can you reschedule if they can offer a quick replacement appointment or find someone to watch the baby. Hope everything goes ok op xxx

Edited

Which hospital is this? Your local one that won't allow babies in prams in ultrasound appointments. What is the name of the hospital?

She can't reschedule it as she needs it as a matter or urgency. It can't wait.

No, she can't ask someone to look after the baby, that's why she has posted.

Edinburgal · 13/02/2024 08:06

I had a scan recently and turned up with a baby. No one said anything. I hadn't actually considered i couldnt bring baby until iv seen your thread, i had nowhere else for her to go. She just sat in the pram in the corner of the room.

Original poster
Roundgreysoft · 13/02/2024 08:14

Would one of your older child's friends mums not help out? It's half term here too but in an emergency I would definitely hold a baby for a few hours until you were back.
Or as pp has suggested, book a babysitter to sit with baby in the waiting room. You say you wouldn't leave baby with a stranger but you'd rather potentially leave them alone and unattended? Some ultrasound rooms are very small and wouldn't fit a buggy in.

Having been for about 20 scans during my pregnancy and going in to every single room, they can all accommodate a pram. I haven't suggested I'd leave baby unattended, of course I wouldn't.

OP posts:
Original poster
Roundgreysoft · 13/02/2024 08:15

It's not safe for the baby or child to be in the scan room

It isn't for other scans but is fine for ultrasounds or they wouldn't use them in pregnancy

OP posts:
Starlightstargazer · 13/02/2024 08:16

it sounds like you’ve had a really tough, awful time OP. If they won’t let you in, I would say you want it documented that this is an urgent scan after being seriously ill, and if anything happens to you, the trust will be in serious bother. If receptionist tries to turn you away, say you won’t leave until you’ve discussed with a clinician.
I hope it goes ok x

TookTheBook · 13/02/2024 08:19

I would absolutely ask friends even though it's half term. Many would surprise you and help like this. They could bring their own child and take the buggy round the corner for half an hour.

Also another one wondering why your oh so helpful MIL didn't think to offer to help rather than just stressing you out?

Original poster
Roundgreysoft · 13/02/2024 08:21

I've just managed to get through to somebody at the hospital and they've said it won't be a problem with the appointment being less than 24 hours notice and the no child thing is a generic thing, but not to worry in the circumstances.

Thank goodness!! We are leaving in a few.

OP posts:
AbsentCause · 13/02/2024 08:22

If the person on the desk says no, ask them for the number for PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) and sit in the waiting room and call it. PALS will be in the hospital and be able to help you advocate for yourself. I’ve found them very helpful.

Wishlist99 · 13/02/2024 08:23

This sounds really tough and I can remember being in a similar position years ago before I had a wider circle of friends and neighbours who could help (and not all with tiny children themselves). In my case I had to attend hospital for an emergency with a 2 yr old in a buggy while I was treated. The staff were initially shocked but I was the priority and was treated.

I think in this case if you have absolutely exhausted every possible option with friends (eg offering to cover costs of outing that they’ve had to cancel with their dc) then I would attend the appt but be prepared to be declined a scan. If you’re declined, politely ask to see manager / lead clinician in the department before you leave and don’t leave without an appt time at a time you have childcare.

NC543210 · 13/02/2024 08:23

You sound really stressed.

I'm a radiographer/sonographer.
In my trust we wouldn't allow a baby into any scan not just those that involve radiation.
In fact I'd prefer a baby to be present during a CT scan (in the control room) if I had to choose as ultrasound is hard to look and report at the best of times, let alone with a baby potentially crying.

To the pp who said about a breastfed infant etc we would expect a relative to be with the patient to have the baby in the waiting room. Not just allow a baby in. There are reasons this is in place and it isn't being unreasonable. Frustrating I agree.

Where I work my HCA will often go and sit with the baby/child in the waiting room. Depending on the HCA/mother.
It wouldn't be the same everywhere though.

Wishlist99 · 13/02/2024 08:23

Just saw your update - all the best!

Magicfairycake · 13/02/2024 08:33

emotionalpuddle · 12/02/2024 23:45

Going against the grain. Our hospital trust would turn you away. Our sonographers will not allow children in the rooms or to wait outside without a family member/adult present. It's now hospital policy and we have to turn people away weekly. It's awful but policy.

Let's be honest. PEOPLE are not getting turned away weekly. Women are. What a disgrace.

Mariposistaaa · 13/02/2024 08:36

Any of your friends who are ‘at home with their own kids for half term’ (therefore AVAILABLE) are shit friends if they are not helping in this emergency.
and as for ‘I won’t leave baby with a stranger’ when it’s an emergency affecting your health, sorry OP but you are looking for problems now. If you are just going to rely on family members as the only trusted acceptable option for childcare you are going to be in this situation again and again.

NC543210 · 13/02/2024 08:37

@Magicfairycake

Probably more women but I've had to turn men away too who have turned up with toddlers running around and no HCA free to help out. In ultrasound, CT and MRI.

ooooohnoooooo · 13/02/2024 08:46

Phew ! Good kick with it all and I hope you feel better soon

TheTorturedPoetsDepartment · 13/02/2024 09:00

I am a palliative care nurse. I currently have a 24yr old single mother on my books with a child under 3. She is dying. She is also taking legal action against the hospital as she was refused 4 scans over a 10 month period due to childcare. When I tell you she has absolutely no one in the world, I mean it. The child will go into Foster care when she dies (and a few periods before) I have seen things like this, to a lesser degree many tines before. I have never had a male patient miss anything due to childcare. Ever.
I absolutely detest working with people who just spout 'policy' with absolutely no outside of the box thinking.