To think present money should be returned if marriage lasts just a few weeks

[Friedchickenrocks]

Last June we were invited to a wedding... in India in August. Lad 3 doors down and we know family quite well. Declined the invitation but gave £50. Was looking forward to meeting the lass when she came. He got her visa and flight but since heard she's filing for divorce and doesn't want to come here as heard it gets cold in winter. She could have found that out easily online beforehand!! . So he's offered to live in India but no she wants a divorce. Lad, 25, is heartbroken. Arranged marriage.
Saw another neighbour who is closer than us to them and he says he gave £100 and thinks they should return all the money as they've made marriage like a joke.
What do you think? Hadn't thought of it until he said it.

I don't but it's the Indian guy who gave double that who is irked and suggested it. Had a Google and thought I'd seek the opinion here too. No, have no intention of asking. Wouldn't stoop so low. OH told me only to give 30 but doesn't get much these days and they're a lovely family. Always bringing us home made samosas and pakoras, onion bhajis

I’m assuming your £50 was a drop in the ocean compared to all the wedding money they received. Nice little earner for a 5 week marriage.

Hello neighbour, i saw you're back.

Plenty more fish in the sea, can I have my money back until next time?

FAKE NEWS OP

I can imagine keeping a list of wedding gifts so you can thank people ie thank you for your toaster etc and I could imagine making a note who gave money to thank them - but keeping a record of how much money people gave each is not something that would cross my mind. They had wedding expenses I am guessing the money went to that

Traditionally, if a marriage ends before formal thank you notes have been sent, then any unused gifts should be returned. Once thank you notes have been sent the gifts have been formally accepted and are assets of the couple to be disposed of or divided as they see fit.

But I think this harks back to the days when the couple didn't live together pre-marriage, and the wedding list was at Peter Jones and once the marriage ended no one wanted the dinner service and bed linen anyway.

With cash in the 21st Century I think you just need to write it off. As others have said this couple probably both have enough to deal with at the moment.

Well they did actually get married so the gift stands. I'd def just leave it (like you said you will)

But WTF was the bride thinking going though with it then changing her mind because it gets cold this side of the world. I can't believe that came as a surprise to her. Also the lad offered to move.

My first H left me for a man after six weeks. I was completely devastated. My parents offered the presents back on my behalf, but nobody wanted anything returned. I think my guests realised how traumatised I was and didn't want to rub salt in the wounds. The groom, in this case, will be feeling humiliated and embarrassed, I did. Just don't ask for the money back. It will only add to his distress.

@PleaseletitbeSpring oh wow, I really can't imagine how you must have felt. It must have been an awful time .

I went to a wedding where the couple wanted money for their honeymoon. They went on the honeymoon, and split up (with an annulment) when they got back.

There was nothing to give back.