6 months ago I got back together with ex partner.
We had previously split because we wanted different things but remained on good terms.
since getting back together things have been relaxed, but really good.
however, we had a big argument recently, which escalated over nothing. I was really upset at the way he spoke to me and I snapped at him.
he said I exploded at him, and that my temper is terrible. But he never listens to me, and rather than accepting that I see things differently, constantly shuts me down. And so I lose my temper.
i think I’m a relatively calm
person. So my ‘temper’ isn’t more than just a momentary raising my voice. I also do not accept his version of events at all. He called me mad and kept shouting at me for ages, long after I asked him to please stop.he continued shouting ant me even when I tried to calm things.
this was 2 weeks ago, since then he has refused to meet me. He is texting but doesn’t want to discuss what happened. He says he can’t take my temper anymore and refuses to accept that he was unkind to me. The argument was after a whole weekend of him criticising me for little things, but saying my actions showed I was being selfish or taking him for granted ( I don’t) .
he says he doesn’t want to split up but can’t talk to me right now. he says he can’t face another argument, even though I’ve said I just want to talk things through.
so I’m left waiting to find out what is happening.
So as not to drip feed, I was previously in an abusive relationship where I was stonewalled and gaslit constantly.
I genuinely don’t know if I’ve over reacted, or if he is gas lighting me too. Or even that my abusive ex is right. He said I had a bad temper too, and used it to silence me. I was never allowed to complain about his actions ( having an affair, never doing housework)
im so confused. Am I the problem here? I’ve been really conciliatory in my texts to him. Said I just want to talk it through. But I think he is the one being out of order.