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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I snapped at my husband, was I unreasonable?

55 replies

Gentlypattrt · 11/02/2024 13:37

For context, me moved to our new house three weeks ago, we live in the suburbs and haven't got to go to the city centre yet, but we did go around plenty of lovely places including a huge shopping centre and a town nearby for dinner yesterday when my family came to visit.

Him: Would you like to go the city centre today?
Me: it's quite late, but we could go to a town nearby if you want. How about next Saturday? Promise.
Him: We can still have a nice time if we leave by 2pm. We didn't get to see the city yet.
Me: I already told you I wanted to chill today. And it's an hour away.
Him: Okay it's fine but I'll go myself with the kid then. I need to get out, I feel a bit down.

That's when I snapped at him and asked what his problem with me was today. He kept saying he felt down today for no particular reason and acting weird and odd.
He told me not to raise his voice at him at that if he had a problem with me he wouldn't have asked for us to go out together.
He's pissed that I snapped and I kind of feel bad.
Was I unreasonable or is he just making this a bigger deal than it is?

OP posts:
LoveAHamSandwhich · 11/02/2024 15:54

Kindly, OP, it sounds like your DH's mental health could be better. And you snapping at him won't have helped.

We don't need a "reason" to feel down, sometimes we just do.

therealcookiemonster · 11/02/2024 17:37

if you were a man OP and you admitted to this exact interaction, people would have been lining up to kick you from here to Beijing. have a good hard look in the mirror. if this is usual behaviour for you, you need to seriously consider therapy because that shit is emotional abuse

Trulyme · 11/02/2024 17:43

YABVU

He asked if you wanted to go and you said no.

He then said he’d go without you and for some reason you had a problem with that too.

Sounds like the poor guy can’t do anything right.

Jk987 · 11/02/2024 18:12

The thing is you didn't tell him you wanted to chill, you said it's quite late. He was supposed to interpret that and you blamed him when he got it wrong.

He then offered to take the child out to the city which would have given you several hours to chill and do your own thing. Why did that make you angry?

Toomuchgoingon79 · 11/02/2024 18:21

Reverse?

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