to say we should have a family secret Santa next Christmas instead of traditional gift giving?

[wrotemyowndeliverance]

I know, I know, discussing Christmas in February, but some of my family are very keen, so really need to have this settled before summer. I’m one of three adult children, all of us married and my brother has a toddler. Every year Christmas presents get harder to think of both in terms of what I want, and what to get for other people. So many of the good gift ideas have already been used. I think having a Secret Santa between the adults would be a really great solution (and us all buying separately for my nephew), but not sure how breaking decades of tradition will go down. Money isn’t an issue, so absolutely no hard feelings from childless Aunties and Uncles (of which I am one) buying for our DN in addition. How would you feel if someone suggested this for your family?

Poll options:
YANBU: Suggest Secret Santa
YABU: Keep traditional gift exchange

We've done a family secret Santa for about 10 years. It works very well: no one spends money they can't afford and no one goes home with bags full of things they don't like.

I don't think we would. I'm one of the childless couples, and part of the reason I want a Secret Santa is because I find coming up with gift suggestions for me and my husband from everyone exhausting. I'm happy to buy for my nephew as he's easier to buy for as the gifts which he might like change every year, and haven't all been bought ten years ago (like the adults) and I also want to buy for him separately. I'm far from a 'Christmas is all about the children' type person, but now I'm in my thirties with a lot of stuff, I don't begrudge an unequal gift exchange with him while he's little. Maybe I'll suggest that our nephew 'buys' the childless couples a token gift like a box of chocolates to teach the spirit of gift giving? And then when he's 18 he can join the secret santa.

We did this this last year. The year before was just insane, there were so many presents.

We did it by couple with £100 limit. It worked very well!

absolutely the best thing we did as a family. I use a website that automates the whole process and randomly allocates the Secret Santa, we have a budget and people can fill their wishlist with the type of presents they like to receive and leave it up to their Santa to pick something within the budget. Then we all meet up before Xmas at a relative's house, bring a potluck and have an afternoon of present exchange, food and drink, etc.
It has become a lovely tradition, it is nice to see family all together and it has totally de-stressed Xmas (and reduced the individual xmas visits down to 1 big one)

My wider family adopted the "secret" Santa present giving several years ago and are very happy with it. We got comfortable enough to give a short list of suggestions to the organiser so the giver could pick one of the preferences within the price limit. Some of the best presents I've received have been acquired this way from cashmere bed socks or pashminas to cuddly furry hot water bottles (I'm known as someone who suffers from icy feet and ankles when the rest of me is warm - miserable) or single malt whiskey or calvados. Then presents for immediate family or young children. Good luck OP - I'm hoping you can persuade your people. 🌹

We did it this year. I was very reluctant as I like to go the traditional route. But we had a website that picked the names, set a limit and could add things to a wish list that your 'Santa' could choose from. It actually worked really well and people got what they wanted. I put my foot down and insisted this was arranged by June though as I like to start shopping early. So I wouldn't have coped not knowing who I was buying for until late in the year.

We'll also use a website and exclude couples from selecting each other if we do go down this route. I've used Drawnames in work Secret Santas which has worked well there (after someone managed to get missed out when names were pulled out of hat). It also remembers how it was drawn so the same people aren't matched next year. I could well be getting ahead of myself with figuring out specifics of how a Secret Santa no-one but my husband has agreed to will work though!

We have done this for the last two years with Draw Names and it works really well for our family. £100 per couple (or 2 x £50 individual gifts). The single people get £100 to themselves. Everyone gives £20 per child and then I buy the presents from wishlists their parents write. Adults can have their own wishlist or be directed to their Amazon wishlist or ask for a surprise.