I feel ashamed at how lazy I am. Am I?

[Nmw09]

I'm pretty hard on myself and need to cut myself slack in so many areas of my life but I'm quite sure this is not one of them.

I've always loved sleep and struggled with insomnia which has naturally not made me a morning person over the years.

I was that person changing my alarm when I couldn't sleep to later and later and then the inevitable morning rush before work.

However in those days I did go to bed later than I should have and didn't have a routine, I would stay up late on weekends and then sleep in. Drinking too as my weekend hobbie.

But that's all changed, I do have a routine now as a mum, falling asleep about 10.30 every night, even on weekends. I don't drink much at alll, eat super healthy but I'm still that lazy person who hates mornings.

I have always wanted to be that person who hits the gym in the morning and my mind boggles when I hear people who get up at 5am or 6am through choice and enjoy being up before their kids.

I'm not ashamed to say we slept trained our son, at 3.5 months as I couldn't cope with the lack of sleep. He is 18 months now and sleeps through still, but my husband does 99% of the mornings. Even if the earliest our son wakes is 6.30am and sometimes after 7am. I just don't get up. I hate it. I'm not far behind my husband most days and I do some of the nursery drop offs for 8am but really our routine is he does drop off and I do collection. Worth noting I do 99% bath time/bedtime. I do work 5 days a week, albeit I'm paid a lot for a job where I wfh 4 days a week and it's flexible working. I contribute a lot financially and my job is anything but easy, albeit I don't work crazy hours, it's a lot of stress in a high pressure environment.

I love being slim and really restrict my calories but I'm too lazy to exercise, I go once a month to the gym and just cancelled my membership as I don't use it. Again, I used to exercise frequently but always after work or weekends which is out the window with a child.

As if I wasn't hating myself already and wanting to change, I'm pregnant again and suddenly this week first trimester is taking me down. We were up and out yesterday for a hike leaving at 9.30am and when we got back I could barely move from sofa and even napped. I love being active but my energy levels are atrocious now I'm 7 weeks in.

Every morning my husband brings our child into our bedroom at about 7.30am so he can get ready for work/drop off and our child lays with me in bed for cuddles. I'm worried all our child sees in the mornings is me in bed. Or on weekends, on the sofa.

I confided in my husband I already felt useless and now I feel quite depressed. The thought of getting pregnancy fat, the low energy, I'm wondering if anyone else is not a morning person/low energy? Am I being unreasonable beating myself up.

Youre not describing a lazy person. Youre describing an exhausted person. And just because youre jot a morning person doesnt mean youre lazy. Youre clearly an owl, not a lark.

Just shift your thinking to you get stuff done in the afternoons and evening.

also, get your iron levels checked out. If youre restricting food you may need a boost.

Tell your GP

I’m a bit the same but I definitely couldn’t go to bed as late as 10.30 since Iv become a mum- I’m in an hour before this! Could u try earlier nights and maybe you’ll be less tired in the morning?

Are you eating enough? Get your iron levels checked. When I felt how you’re describing my ferritin was down to a 6. I was worried dh was getting fed up with my laziness so I was relieved there was a medical reason.

Your child laying in bed with you getting cuddles is much more rewarding and meaningful to them than seeing you up and about not giving them attention.

If you're already a healthy weight you shouldn't be "really restricting calories" when pregnant.
I won't comment on the sleep training at 3.5 months 😳

Focus on quality of what you eat over restricting calories (ideally for ever but certainly while you're pregnant). 1st trimester exhaustion is a real thing, give yourself permission to be tired, prioritise what is most important to you and your family. And talk to your GP (or midwife if you can get to them yet) sooner rather than later about how you are feeling.

Not being a morning person is a real thing, as long as you have your life organised so that you can do the necessary things when they need to be done, then there isn't anything wrong with not bouncing out of bed with your children!

Wow, there was so much negative self-talk in that.

No, you’re not lazy. Different people have energy at different times of the day. That’s normal. You’re not “too lazy to exercise”, you don’t particularly like the gym and you’ve got a small child. And really, a lot of people would take a nap after a full day hike when they are pregnant!

Be a little kinder to yourself 💐

I’m not ashamed to say we slept trained our son, at 3.5 months as I couldn't cope with the lack of sleep

How did you sleep train an 11 week old baby?? Did you just leave him crying for hours??

Have you had a check up with your GP? Could be vitamin deficiency or thyroid issues contributing to this.

Women need more sleep than men. Add pregnancy to that, and you need even more sleep. Go to bed earlier OP, you sound exhausted. I was the same for the first trimester, feeling very guilty about my extreme tiredness, but it has improved as the pregnancy has continued. Best of luck to you, you are not lazy, and you sound like you’re doing loads

Perhaps we can save the sleep training guilt trips for another thread? I doubt it's going to help OP in any way.

You sound a bit flaky and like you're taking advantage of your husband. Does he ever complain?

I can guarantee you that if a man posted this, he'd have been ripped a new arsehole on the first reply.

You’re seven weeks pregnant op! Congratulations! Please eat properly and get as much sleep as you can and give yourself a break! 💐💐💐

I don’t think you sound lazy - you sound like me! I was always exhausted when the dcs were young and as a sahm I didn’t have a job to get to as well!

Ive always hated mornings and everyone knows I don’t speak until my second cuppa. Dh and I both go to bed at the same time but he’s naturally up at 5/6am whereas I would sleep til midday if I could. I hate exercise/the gym but I do drag myself out for a walk as it helps me sleep better.

I think some people are sloths and some are hares!

I used to be a night owl, could sleep easily until midday or longer.. Now I'm in bed before 9, up at 4am, in the gym at 5am every morning, can't stay in bed once I'm awake. No idea what changed in me?! 🤷‍♀️However when I was pregnant I could sleep all day!

Hello! You've just described me, even our jobs sound similar and I'm also 7 weeks pregnant (except this is my first). Please don't feel guilty! We can't help it 😄

I'm also very much not a morning person, never have been, and have recently been stressing out about this and feeling frustrated with myself after work changed hours from 9 to 8am starts in January. This will sound ridiculous to most people I know, but I find it hard to be productive/useful/have many ideas before about 10am, so I'm there doing my basic tasks, but that's about it.

This coincided with the start of early pregnancy symptoms too, which are a killer! I'm exhausted and feel permanently sick and hungover. For the last 2 weeks I've been sleeping most of the weekend, napping at lunchtime on weekdays, and just waiting for work to be over so I can crash out again. A hike would not happen. Blood tests just came back normal and I'm told this is temporary... Let's hope so!

Well given that you say you really restrict my calories it isn't remotely surprising you are so tired all the time. You also mention being scared of pregnancy weight gain. Have you ever considered you might have an eating disorder?

Another owl here.
My advice is go with it, chats in the evenings and cuddles in the mornings is surely nice for the kids and you'll be happier than trying to be supermum when not really awake. And, if some mornings you're sleepwalking and clinging to your coffee that's only normal.
You don't sound lazy to me, you sound like you're in your first trimester. It's exhausting! But also exciting, congratulations!

God when I was pregnant I could sleep 23 hours a day!

It's working for you, your DH does the mornings, what's the issue?

You need to be extra kind to yourself whilst your pregnant, all I wanted to do was sleep. But if you're restricting food, I'd also think about if you're giving your body enough energy to run well

Really restricting calories does entirely mess up your sleep. My psychiatrist was telling me that when he worked on in an eating disorders unit, they used to wake up some patients in the middle of the night to give them toast because otherwise their sleep was ruined.

Other than that, yeah, we're not morning people here either. I don't see it as a failing. On Friday, we all woke up at 8.15 when we needed to be leaving to take DS (4.5) to school. I'm the only one in the family to be dressed at the moment. I think it's odd how we are having a different body clock as some kind of moral failing. My problem was I married someone with the same body clock as me and so we have a many a grumpy morning.

I'm confused.

Are you pregnant now?

Or were you talking about when you pregnant and not wanting to get 'pregnancy fat'.?

I think you just need to accept that your body clock isn't that of an early bird.

But some things you mention may point to an eating disorder.

Also, the working from home doesn't sound great. yes, it's convenient, but must be quite isolating if you are not getting any adult company.

Where does she say she's pregnant?

I thought the 'pregnancy fat' was about how she felt when she was pregnant before.

Your description of your eating and weight concerns is jumping out to me.

If you are severely restricting calories then you will have no energy and will not be able to function normally. And you are pregnant again? Are you able to discuss with your midwife or GP?