To hate weekend mornings/days

[Moanalot2]

Literally every weekend day, DH gets up, goes downstairs and lounges around on the sofa falling asleep until we decide to do something. It annoys me so bad as i am running around doing breakfast, sorting clothes out etc. He tells me this is what everybody does on a weekend morning. I like Mon-Fri as he has to go to work so I dont have to witness it but my god I have never seen the guy rush, if he was any more laid back he would fall over. It really angers me looking at him snoring to the point my blood is boiling and I dont understand why it gets me like this, obviously he think IABU.

Go out without him and when he complains tell him he can be the one to sort out the weekend activity next time.

Or take turns to organise weekends and put it in a joint diary so it's clear.

Stop running around. What’s the rush! Go and wake him. Tell him he needs to sort breakfast while you do …
And yes. Lounging around at the weekend is what many people do. Until they have kids!

He works Monday-Friday and wants to relax on days off, why is that an issue? Do you get a chance to relax? If not, there's your issue and you need to do something about it instead of complaining about it

Get him to make breakfast, clean, do laundry?
Why are you running around ragged?

Weekends are for relaxing that is the whole point.

Do you seriously think if someone gets up early to go to work through the week that they should rush about and do the same on a weekend even though they have no plans?

YANBU if you have dc

YABU if you don’t

Why are you rushing around while he's lounging around? Do you have dc?
Do you want to lounge around as well or do you need him to help you?
He either gets off his arse and helps or you need to reorganise the time you're doing clothes and whatever else so you both do your fair bit and get to lounge around.

Sorry I should have elaborated, we have 2 DC 2 and 5. Its not as if he is just chilling out he is fully snoring and not interacting with them.

Eh? What is your proposal for families where both parents work and babies/ toddlers don't care it's the weekend and demand to be fed/ grind food into the carpet/ tip over their drink etc at 6am? This is surely the reality of having kids. Weekends are no longer for lounging no matter how much you'd wish they were.

If the kids ask him for something he will literally do anything possible to avoid it, and by the time he gets round to it i could have done it 50 times myself.

@user1477249785

actually there was no mention of her kids initially

so is he getting up with the children and leaving them
unsupervised op?

Just get a lie in each someone on Saturday and someone on Sunday

We have tried this arrangement but I feel so bad when the kids are asking him to get up and he doesn't, So I just get up.

Get the kids to pester him and double check you're actually only doing things that need doing, all this rushing around,w hat are you doing, over cleaning, over planning, over thinking?

It might not be applicable to your situation but I see it all the time on these threads

Stop running around. On Saturdays, he gets up with the kids and you stay upstairs laying in. If you can't see it, you can't get annoyed by it.

On Sundays, get up and tell him to stay in bed. Go down, have your morning with the dcs your way, and he can stay out of sight so he doesn't annoy you.

Do you work Monday-Friday OP? Or at all? If not then YABVU

Talk to him.
Say, you are being selfish and I'm fed up with it.
His reaction will tell you what you need to know.
A good man will communicate and listen.
An arsehole will react with anger.

Take up a time consuming solo hobby ( running/walking/golf/cycling)
Get up early on the weekend and leave the house and the children for him to sort. Slam the door on the way out to make sure everyone is awake.
Then make plans for you and the kids in the afternoon, regardless of whether he joins in or not.
Some people relax by laying around, I'm more of a busy relaxer so I can't watch other people wasting time, especially on the weekend. So I go out. Everyone wins. I feel better for the activity and I don't get vexed waiting for everyone to get up.

I work 3 days, but I find work easier than the kids!

Sorry but I think you need to slow down a bit. As long as he's not neglecting the dc and they are at risk of injury because they are unsupervised I think it's fine to stick a bit of telly on and relax on the sofa while kids play or potter about. That's what weekends are for.

We do the occasional activity at weekends and my dc are older now so do have Saturday clubs but I don't pack weekends full or feel the need to do stuff all the time. It's exhausting rushing around during the week and everyone needs that downtime

So he’s learnt that ignoring you or the kids means eventually you’ll do it. Stop that. Shove him out of bed. Or ignore his faffing and go and do something for you instead.

In that case it’s really not on. You can’t sit around on weekend mornings when your dc are under six! Even then it’s better for everyone if you have a vague routine on Saturdays and get out early and do an activity. You can always relax later on in the day or have an afternoon nap. But it’s totally unfair to leave all the dc wrangling to you op!

Is there a reason he’s so tired? How old is he? Is he getting enough sleep? Does he have sleep apnoea?

Why should it be that does it all if he works an extra 2 days? he works late too barely see's the kids through the week. Where is my time?

I am not saying I am running around but if the kids want breakfast, their bum wiping etc, they want it doing there and then.

I like to be up and about on weekend mornings and consider waking up at 7am as a lie-in as I wake up at 5:30 during the week!

I do build in rest time though, usually Saturday afternoon after I’ve done my morning exercise class, a long walk (15k+ steps) and life admin/errands.

If I stay home on Saturday or Sunday I literally feel like I am wasting my life.

I don’t have kids, and lead a relatively stress-free life so I appreciate that’s probably why I am not as tired and need the rest as much as others.

That being said, it’s unusual that the husband needs more rest than OP when presumably they both have to deal with the stresses of parenting??

He cant just sit on the sofa without falling asleep, he has gained so much weight and I am finding it really difficult as he is just a slob.