To be dreading clearing elderly relatives flat

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Estranged relative has died and for a variety of reasons I have to go and hunt around in a dirty cold flat for paperwork and valuables. Aibu to be terrified of what I’m going to find

It's never a pleasant task - digging around in a dead relatives house for documents etc. It feels like an invasion of privacy but it has to be done for legal reasons.
What do you think you might find that leaves you 'terrified'? Is the flat particularly dirty/neglected/hording etc?

Can you take someone OP? I’ve had to do this twice recently and it’s so much better with company.

If you can afford it, take a cleaner with you. You deal with paperwork, they deal with the cleaning. And then you sort things out with said cleaner- and a friend or relative.

I had to clear my late sisters flat recently and absolutely dreaded it.

Some relatives unexpectedly turned up to help, so we made the most of it by going out to dinner later and I bribed my teenagers with hard cash to move the heavy stuff. It wasn't too bad in the end.

Take your most sensible friend with you. It's a horrible job and I hope it doesn't take you too long.

As they are estranged at least it won't be an emotional task, so that's a very big plus.

Have you got arrangements in place for where all the things in the flat will go? If not I would engage a house clearance company - the kind which sorts valuable things for auction, charity stuff, dump stuff, makes sure it all gets transported to the right place. They really are worth their weight in gold if you can get a local recommendation. And a cleaner or two, as pp has said.

Then all you'll need to concentrate on is paperwork.

Can you not use a house clearance firm?

We need to find documents. Hoarder.

I second the idea of employing a cleaning/clearing company for the clutter/mess and letting them know you're only interested in the specific paperwork (so they can dump rubbish like clothes etc).

Take gloves, mask, friend and music

open up the windows and doors, take breaks and have an idea on how to celebrate once documents are found

good luck

Take someone with you - pay them if you need to.
Take it as fast as you can - ignore rubbish and focus on bills and other papers only.
You don’t have to clear it - leave that for house clearance.
If stuff is piled high then focus on keeping safe and think how good it will be when it’s over!

It's not a nice task.

I emptied my Nan's after she died - we were very close though so it was an emotional task. She wasn't a hoarder but had lived there for 32 years - no matter what, you accumulate a lot of stuff in 32 years.

I took someone with me each time e.g. a relative or friend. That helped. I did find some lovely old photos etc.

You say your relation was a hoarder? If so, definitely take gloves, cleaning stuff and bin liners. One area at a time. Take nice cake/biscuits for tea breaks.

Good luck!

Double glove.

Strong bags. Have assistance.

Definitely take gloves and bin bags. I had to help clear my estranged dead sisters house and it was disgusting. Carers hadn't so much as flicked a duster in months if not years. Dreading when the time comes for my parents too. Sixty odd years of collecting.
Good luck.

I’m a bit of a hoarder. I like the idea of Swedish death cleaning. I don’t want people rooting through my things too much so I’d like to minimise the need for it as much as possible.

Focus on finding anything valuable, legally important, or sentimental. Take a music machine. If you can, better still, take a friend or family member you trust.

Papers are the big problem. Easiest if possible is to cart anything that looks like it might be important (NOT everything, just what a quick glance suggests) home and sort it there in less upsetting location!

Sorry you have to do this! Wear old clothes, mask, gloves. Take the hoover in case dust is bad. Open the windows. Put the radio on with cheery music. Find that friend or family member of yours who enjoys decluttering - lots of people enjoy this kind of task!

My mil stuck a copy of her will and her solicitor's details on her notice board. Such a great idea!

I'd literally look for the documents then get house clearance specialists in. Are you the next of kin, presumably? And is the flat rented or owned? It sounds like it's going to be tough going, get a boilersuit/coveralls and lots of tough gloves.

Don't take bin bags. They're too flimsy these days.

Take as many rubble sacks as you think feasible, then double that number

Take zip ties to seal them up

What is/are the documents? I'd imagine that most stuff can be recreated by certified copy e.g. land registry, bank statements, investments, birth/marriage certs and so on. If it's the will, well yes you might need to find that, but could it be with a local solicitor?

It is an awful task, hoarder or not. I think you really have to be hard hearted and ruthless. Keep some sentimental items and obviously the valuable ones. Dump the rest.

Take hot drinks, layers, a mate and rubble bags

Good luck 🤞🏻

It's such a dreadful task to do especially if your relative is a bit of a hoarder. At B&Q they sell full face masks with air flo. I'd go with that. Thick rubber gloves that go up your arm. Strong air freshener you can plug in and a spray about Oust too. Lots of really thick black sacks.

My sympathies with you at this time.
When my mum cleaned out my aunts house, she bought a suit like a hazmat/decorating suit from amazon, gloves, masks and rubble bags. Also took a kettle, refreshments, biscuits, cups and teaspoons etc.
My aunt was a hoarder and also suffered with vascular dementia so there was basically stuff everywhere and no 'system' of putting things away. An example of this was anything kitchen related went into the living room, the kitchen was closed off and the bedroom had a pathway to the bed and not much wiggle room.
Mum did a room at a time, anything that couldn't be salvaged was binned, clothes were sorted into donate or bin, same with crockery etc, anything of importance was put into boxes to be sorted at mums house.
Get yourself a cleaner for when it's fairly accessible, take a friend, open the windows and if you are on social media, put a post out on the local facebook hub of the area that can offer recommendations of a house clearance company.
Good luck and take your time.

Take someone with you. Both my mum and dad went to clear my grandmother's house after she died, and the mutual support they were able to give each other was important.

I am doing this with my parents
Leave with a boot full each time - sold-out £3k worth on Vinted/ebay etc so far. No rush- all nice and easy.