To be dreading clearing elderly relatives flat

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Estranged relative has died and for a variety of reasons I have to go and hunt around in a dirty cold flat for paperwork and valuables. Aibu to be terrified of what I’m going to find

I have a relative who lives near me whose house is filthy - if you put something through the letterbox, the smell coming out is horrendous. There is a good chance that I will be the only one locally left when she dies and I was just saying to someone this morning that I am dreading it, because I know the house will be disgusting. I also think she is highly unlikely to have any assets to pay for anything so not sure what will happen about costs. Its a nightmare.

My Mum has stuck everything needed in a metal box under the bed, so she says, I bet there's something important just pushed in with all the junk paper in the bureau.

House clearance companies cost money though and if the house isn't owned and there are no assets someone is left with a large bill.

Costco bin bags are (or were last time I got some) really thick.

I really liked the Swedish Death book, it's a lovely read and I found it comforting. Gave it to my elderly mum too and she liked it.

Good luck. I was told to put vick near my nose in particularly bad houses when doing some first responder training.

Been there. Sympathies! Yes to:

• take a friend with a sense of humour, and music
• take loads of gloves including at least 1 thick pair in case of sharps (wear thick soled shoes for the same reason)
• take a torch for shining into cupboards / under beds before you have to reach in
• wear overalls and strip them off and bag them before you get back into your car (don’t forget to cover your hair)
• if you can, take piles outside to sort. We found important letters shoved inside old newspapers etc - I expect we still missed stuff, but we did the best we could. Double-bag and tie everything you take and accept that it will still smell - if you have a garage or shed back at yours, keep the bags there while you go through them.
• get what you need, and leave. You can sort out cleaners afterwards.

So basically if someone dies, is this how you learn which bank had their bank account ?

I would recommend a house clearance if at all possible. I know its a cost but if you can manage it or there is money in the estate it's worth it. Put all paperwork in one place and then go through it on a different day.

Yup

If they did not keep good records, you're left hunting in the dark

If you have probate or power of attorney documents, you might try

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/debt-savings/how-to-trace-lost-money/

Depending on the scale of the hoard, you might need a good deal more time and help than you've penciled in.

I'd do a recce first to gauge whether you'll need a house/hoard clearance crew, a skip, protective gear, respirator masks, etc.

There are companies that will shred documents for you rather than you having to do it yourself would it be possible to just look for documents and then get a house clearance company for the rest?

Sorry OP, what a task to be given!

I would bring a really practical, pragmatic, level headed friend with you so that if you're finding it overwhelming or frustrating they can take charge a bit.

I've been both that friend and the person who needed that friend and it definitely helps when doing something you dread as you can sort of relieve yourself of that feeling of total responsibility!

I’ve got gloves bin bags bleach wipes and someone to look after the kids so my OH can come. Thank you for all of the tips. Deffo going to just try and bring all docs home with me

You'll get to know them and understand them as you never have. It will be sad, but possibly fascinating.

Good luck!