Unsolicited parenting advice from a random man in the street

[HistoryBufff3]

I was out with my 2yo DS in the buggy today, he was having a temper tantrum on the way back from the library because he was tired. I tried to placate him but he was having none of it.

As i'm getting a move on he was sliding down in the seat, tantrumming, and putting his legs on the bumper bar. I put his legs down, he did it again. Rinse and repeat.

After repositioning him in the seat a good three times I thought, just leave him to it, it's an awkward way to sit but no harm done. It isn't hurting him. Let's just hurry up and get him home without causing any more of a scene.

A random man who I assume works for the council given the job he was doing, stopped me in the street by blocking my path and told me in a harsh tone to "fix that bebbys legs"

I wish I had said something witty in response but all I could muster was that he shouldn't be commenting on strangers parenting in the street (unless there was abuse, of course)

Do you think he was reasonable or unreasonable to do that? It has annoyed me and is the last thing a parent needs when they're just doing their best in a stressful situation.

You were aware of why his legs were the way they were. The man wasn't. It's possible he thought you didn't realise or were making him sit awkwardly on purpose.

It's all in the delivery. He wasn't trying to be helpful he was lambasting me.

He should have been minding his own business but it wouldn’t bother me. I’d probably just call him a knob (under my breath) and carry on my way.

Ignore, everyone's got an opinion but only you know what's actually happening.

It's so crap when your kid is tantrumming in public but at the same time I'm glad the world notices children and looks out for them.

He most likely thought that you hadn’t realised that his legs were like that(assuming he isn’t in a parent facing pushchair) or maybe he was just being a dick. Either way I honestly wouldn’t give it abother thought.

Thank you Random Man for your unsolicited advise. Stock reply.

Men correcting women’s parenting in the street is a special kind of fuckery. I can’t stand it. For some reason, there was a lot of it in our area during lockdown

Maybe he thought he was upset because his legs were hurting, rather than his legs were like that because he was upset? Trying to be charitable here!

I think telling him he was out of order / mind his own business was much more appropriate than being witty OP. Do you think you subconsciously feel something witty would have been a less 'dangerous' or confrontational response, and that's why you wish you'd said it?

Oh we got an annoying random man in town when we were sat in shopping centre.. myself.. daughter n Grandson.
Grandson has really really long hair.. he's nine.
We called him by his name.
Random man ( age about 60)
RM.. that's a funny name for a girl.
Mum.. he's a boy.
RM. Well he needs to get his hair cut.. he will get called a Nancy at school.
Mum.. he doesn't go to school .. but he can have his hair anyway he wants to.
RM.. does he identify has a girl then?
Mum.. no he identifies as a spaceship.. one with long hair.
We got up and walked away.

My DS mid tantrum hurled himself out of the pushchair (he could undo the belt). He landed at the feet of an elderly man who says to me “what a terrible mother you are”

so seems like lots of strangers out there willing to give advice, maybe they could set up a helpline or something, give lessons in schools, do some outreach work. It seems so unfair that only some of us get advice from these clearly knowledgeable men on all subjects when we could all learn from them. I’m sure if you spoke to him long enough he would be well versed not just on parenting but on all aspects of the world. They know so much, strangers.

Men correcting women publicly on things they know less than women about doesn’t come from a helpful or supportive place.

If I publicly inserted myself and my views into a discussion a group of blokes were having about something I knew fuck all about (golf, perhaps( they would be well within their rights to do one. Sadly many men feel they have automatic authority over women on any subject, even when they are manifestly out of their depth.

Good old patriarchy.

Yeah I just go with Thanks Random Man

What’s the random mans age got to do with it ?

You’re all nicer than me. I once told a man he needed to lose weight, put on a clean shirt and get a better haircut. “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought we were taking turns giving unsolicited advice.”

😂😂😂

Sorry OP I snorted at ‘fix that bebby’s legs’

OpheliaLibra · Today 17:53

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought we were taking turns giving unsolicited advice.”

Ha hah! Excellent!

Gonna go against the consensus here - I have done similar to this fella a couple of times - once when a child was being wheeled asleep across a field in a wheel barrow at a campsite with his head rhythmically banging against the metal side, and another time when a kid was tangled in a net and panicking whilst adults stood and laughed. I’m for sticking up for children even if you might be wrong, myself.

Fair enough if he'd said, "Ee missis, is he alright with his legs like that?" solicitously, in case that was the problem and she hadn't realised. But no, he had to a snappy shit.

"fuck off mate"

Oh, I’m filing this one away for future use!! 🤣🤣

I think he was probably worried they were uncomfortable.

I once had someone stop me when dd2 was screaming blue murder in the buggy. I knew she was hungry and was dashing to get somewhere I could feed her. They said to me "your baby's broken her arm."
I replied, "no she hasn't", and kept going at speed, not really wanting to stop.

When I got there I was quite surprised they hadn't called the police because dd2's prosthetic had got twisted round so her arm looked bent back on itself at the elbow.

They probably still tell people about a dreadful mother they met who didn't care her baby's arm was broken. 🤣

This!

Once when DS was 2, nearly three I was walking him to the park in the middle of September. It was a mild day but a bit windy so I had my coat of with my hood up as I'd just washed and styled my hair and DS was wearing a tshirt and a hoody.

A bloke said 'I can't believe you're all wrapped up and you don't even have a hat on that bairn!' DS had a load of thick hair so it was so ridiculous.

I asked if he was joking and he called me disgusting!

I said 'WHERE IS YOUR HAT FOR YOUR BALD HEAD THEN?!'

When we got to the park DS promptly removed said hoody and his socks and shoes, so freezing he was 🙄

What a twat. I've had loads of instances with men saying shit like this, men of a generation that probably barely looked after their own kids. I feel you OP

MargaretThursday · Today 18:39

When I got there I was quite surprised they hadn't called the police because dd2's prosthetic had got twisted round so her arm looked bent back on itself at the elbow.

😂

I've had a really good laugh at some of these replies, you've cheered me right up after a difficult day 😄