I have never had a good relationship with my MIL. I tolerate her, and she tolerates me. We have clashed over the years, because she hasn't always got her own way.
We have not seen that much of PIL over the years as they retired and went travelling a lot or were always with friends. My DC don't have a close relationship with them. PIL have slowed down a lot now, and don't get out much. They seem to spend a lot of time at home now.
They muscled in on some of our holidays and weekends away, the only time we saw them some years, but I put a stop to that because they were openly rude to me. We still get huffing and puffing when we go away for not inviting them.
Of course, they are my DH's family and I don't want to be horrible. I stopped arranging things myself with them as I got no thanks, and was told I'm not family, so I stopped and he deals with them now. The thing is, he is not very assertive with them, and agrees to things I don't want to do.
So, the issue now is that MIL seems to think that she has a priority pass to every thing we do. Over Christmas we saw them 5 times. Guess which sucker ends up shopping, cleaning, cooking, tidying up afterwards, chained to the cooker whilst every one else has a nice time? Now, every time there is an occasion coming up, she calls up to arrange the get together. So, basically nice occasions I'd like to enjoy, I don't get to.
I have 3 DC, one older and 2 teens. It is one of their birthdays in a few weeks. MIL has called up to see what we are doing? Also, she has asked us all to drive over there for Easter. Around Easter is really busy for us, and my DC and I don't want to take a day out on top of this. Also, and more truthfully, I spent last Easter hosting them and extended family they emotionally blackmail us into inviting, and I was knackered after it, and this year I just want to have a nice Easter Day with my own DH, DC and loads of chocolate. The hosting isn't the problem here, as she has offered. Basically now, whenever there is an occasion, she wants us all to go up to her house and celebrate it. My DC don't want to celebrate their birthdays in her house. Plus, she is the most god damn awful cook, she boils everything.
I've said no to Easter, and she's taken offence. My DH asked me and I said "No, I just want a quiet one". She is saying that she wants to see her DGC however, one of them is an adult, and the other 2 late teens, and it is a bit late to start playing granny of the year. They aren't interested. Also, my DH isn't her only DC. She doesn't hassle them as they have no DC. Whenever we do invite them, it is followed up with "what about XXX and XXX?" so it ends up a freaking party.