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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sloppy seconds.................

30 replies

Fishbones1 · 09/02/2024 10:58

I can't give too much detail on this as it would be outing. But in a nutshell, would you apply for a job the second time round if you lost out first time round to someone who had no experience in the field? The person they did go with has decided he doesn't want to continue in the role and would like to return to his previous role within the firm. We were both internal candidates. This is just less than 6 months into the job, and he was really happy to move across to us from his previous role, which he found stressful so he must be pretty unhappy.

He's found that he's not getting the support or guidance from his management that he needs in the role; there's also the possibility that the role isn't what he thought it would be - and he's now wanting to go back to what he was doing previously - looks like the vacancy will come round again. But would I be a fool to give it a second attempt? I too, am slightly worried that the support in that job may not be there..........that's a slight aside as they didn't choose me in any case first time round. No-one has mentioned it too me either - but it's only just happened so I'm assuming the news will "break" soon.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 09/02/2024 10:59

I wouldn’t, but I would probably be cutting off my nose to spite my face.

2Rebecca · 09/02/2024 11:00

Erm that's not what is generally known as sloppy seconds. Very strange thread title

Spirallingdownwards · 09/02/2024 11:02

Why would you put your career on hold this way if you don't go for it?

If you go for it and don't get it again surely its time for a rethink then anyway.

Original poster
Fishbones1 · 09/02/2024 11:04

Sorry I've probably used the expression wrong @2Rebecca - I think you get the idea though

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 09/02/2024 11:04

Yes. Ask for feedback on why the other candidate was preferred at interview and what your weaknesses were, and then you’ll know what you need to improve on for this interviewing round.

I think a lot of people take recruitment processes very personally, when the reality is that even in internal recruitment, the interviewers are still required to evidence that the candidate demonstrates the correct capabilities and requirements. If you didn’t then they have to be honest that you didn’t, even if they might feel from day to day working with you that you would have the capability. The successful candidate gave a better interview. Find out how you can give the best one this time.

OnOtherPlanets · 09/02/2024 11:08

Yes. I’d ask for feedback as to why they chose the other candidate at interview, and I would also talk to the colleague who is going back to his old role about the reality of the job you’re interested in, what supports he felt had been lacking etc.

NevergonnagiveHughup · 09/02/2024 11:11

Wait and see if someone speaks to you about applying. If they don’t, you’re not likely to be in their thinking anyway.

spookehtooth · 09/02/2024 11:13

Depends what the improvement in pay and your suitability for the role is, and whether the support should be necessary.

Some jobs require the post holder to be clear about their needs, build the required relationships, learn the processes involved in getting things done and being influential enough to create changes they feel are required.

If I'm going to get some skills and experience I need or want on my CV then I'm taking the job and doing my best with it. No job is forever, you look for things it has or promises that you want and you move on when you outgrow it or get fed up.

Staying in your current job isn't safety. It's always a reasonable possibility each day you start work that there'll be news of redundancies, via failing business or one that gets reorganization or some new technology or things the business wants to focus on. The reasons will be different in public service, charity etc but amounts to the same thing

Have some compassion for interviewers too, they have to choose one person and disappoint many, and sometimes the requirements dictate they can't have the "best" person

Pandadunks · 09/02/2024 11:14

If you want the job don’t cut off your nose to spite your face, that would be ridiculous

5128gap · 09/02/2024 11:23

Did you get feedback when you were unsuccessful? Because to have chosen the person with less direct experience suggests they were seeking other skills or qualities. You really need to know what you were lacking in their eyes before so you can decide whether these are things you have but didn't highlight enough, or whether they were just looking for something different from what you offered.

RadiatorHead · 09/02/2024 11:28

Difficult to say. Are you sure the issue is that he’s getting no support or is it to do with the fact he’s got no experience? I’m currently applying for a new job within my work and the main reason is because I’ve got absolutely no support. My line manager is a different specialty to me and I’m not sure she even knows what I do. I sympathise with you.

Richard1985 · 09/02/2024 12:55

I'd almost certainly not apply for the same role twice but if they offered it to me in a "you were the 2nd best candidate in interview and we realise we made a terrible mistake" kind of way I'd probably be tempted to take it for the right money/benefits

TeenLifeMum · 09/02/2024 12:58

It would depend on the interview feedback but I might call the recruiting manager for a conversation to “understand what they are looking for” and get a feel for whether they would want me to apply again.

DIYnovices · 09/02/2024 12:59

I would approach the hiring manager about an informal chat where you ask for feedback on why you were not hired last time and take it from there

Girlsjustwannahavefungi · 09/02/2024 13:05

Fishbones1 · 09/02/2024 11:04

Sorry I've probably used the expression wrong @2Rebecca - I think you get the idea though

Yes, you really, really have!

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 09/02/2024 13:45

Have the interviewees spoke to you about it?

Or are they readvertisong it again?

Talk to them because surely they could appoint you based on the previous interview of they wanted.

I would ask them about it and then decide.

idontlikealdi · 09/02/2024 14:33

No. If I was going to consider it I'd want them to come to me direct, I wouldn't go through interview again. If they want you they'll approach you.

Original poster
Fishbones1 · 09/02/2024 14:48

Thanks those of you who've shared their thoughts. Lots to think about.

@Girlsjustwannahavefungi - thanks for your insightful and on-topic post. What do you think? I presume you have something constructive to add rather than just the mocking comment??!?

OP posts:
OhmygodDont · 09/02/2024 14:51

Nah go for it, this is why men get higher faster they say fuck it and do it.

also I was Expecting a very different thread…. Sloppy seconds haha

IsthisthereallifeIsthisjustfantasy · 09/02/2024 14:51

I think I only would if I were invited to apply, e.g. by a manager.

NewYearNewCalendar · 09/02/2024 14:55

I’d talk to the hiring manager. Essentially ask whether it’s worth you applying again. And sound out whether it’s actually what you want - are the issues making him leave ones that will make you struggle too?

But whatever you do, don’t avoid applying because you’re annoyed you didn’t get it the first time. Hiring may feel very personal but it really isn’t.

spookehtooth · 09/02/2024 15:57

DIYnovices · 09/02/2024 12:59

I would approach the hiring manager about an informal chat where you ask for feedback on why you were not hired last time and take it from there

This is always a good idea, I got a job once at the second time of asking purely on this basis. I was told why I wasn't hired, and it wasn't down to ability or anything I did wrong, period.

Like all progress in life, it's always about developing positive, healthy, relationships with people wherever you are!

Trulyme · 09/02/2024 16:42

I’ve been in a similar situation and I refused to accept it purely out of pettiness.

I was cutting my nose off to spite my face but they chose to take someone with no experience, over me who’d been doing the job well for a year.
I was quite honest when the other lady couldn’t handle it and left after only a few weeks, that I was hurt about not being first choice and therefore I wouldn’t accept it just because she’s now dropped them.

Fortunately, it led me to apply and get a job that I enjoy a lot more but that doesn’t always happen.

It depends on how much you want this job.

You could always accept it but then not worry about looking for other jobs in the near future and not feel guilty about leaving.

InSpainTheRain · 10/02/2024 14:32

What was the feedback on why you didn't get the role? That would make a big difference to whether I re-applied or not. As it's internal can you ask for a one to one with the hiring manager and say you are interested - that would give you chance to understand more about why you didn't get it, is there support for someone in that role and if they feel you may be a good fit or not. Personally I'd go for it and use the interview process to really check it out - you can always turn it down.

MaggieFS · 10/02/2024 14:38

Sloppy seconds 🤢

That aside, I would consider it if approached, and understand they may have to re-interview to be fair to all.

BUT as you say, I'd be more worried about the management structure and lack of support. It could be a poisoned chalice.