Newborn around smoking friend

[Overthebow]

A friend who smokes came round today, he didn’t smoke in the house but could strongly smell cigarettes on him and he probably had one before he came into the house. I let him hold my baby for a while, and didn’t really think about it until afterwards but now I’m worried my baby will have been affected by this and am worried about sids. Do you think it’s ok and if not is there anything I can do? Aibu to be worried about this?

I very much doubt once will make a difference, but I wouldn’t be allowing him to do it again quite honestly.

I am not aware that just the actual smell of smoke off someone could harm others? Just the smoke itself I presumed? It's a little unpleasant and I guess you don't want your baby to start smelling of smoke! Maybe tell him if he needs to smoke before seeing the baby would he mind chewing gum afterwards to minimise the smell? Otherwise I guess let him see the baby but minimise close contact/ holding. I smoke and my friends with babies never minded me holding them/ kissing them etc (I never smoked near the baby of course) but I totally see your point.

Don’t let him hold her.

His clothes will smell disgusting and more so to a little baby.

Definitely don't let him hold her, it can affect their breathing due to the carbon monoxide, we were told this in antenatal class and by midwife

Yanbu to be worried about it because you do hear advice about smokers. But don't forget that women used to smoke a lot both pregnant and with newborns! The majority of the babies would be fine (we are some if them I'm sure).

We know better now of course but I think the risk of your friend and his smoke smell are minuscule, especially if you've bathed and changed the baby since he held them.

I guess if he comes again when the baby is tiny baby don't let him hold them. But I wouldn't worry about the baby today.

I think that smokers often think their breath is the issue and are pretty 'nose blind' when for non smokers, it's very often obvious someone smokes just from the smell of their clothing.

I wouldn't want my baby held by a smoker for that reason as I would feel very uncomfortable they would likely smell of smoke afterwards.

It's refreshing when smokers understand and accept that.

@whatsitcalledwhen I guess noseblindness is real! I would understand if someone asked me to refrain from smoking an hour or so before holding the child. But ultimately I guess maybe I do have that smokers aroma, despite being clean and wearing nice fragrance! A lot of people I know smoke, unfortunately, (parents included) I guess that's why my people seemed less bothered.

I think your baby will be fine but in future I’d recommend them wearing a coat outside to smoke and then removing it (ideally a change of clothes but not always possible with visitors) and most definitely to wash hands before handling the baby.

Do you take you baby out along roads with cars passing? I suspect particulate pollution is much worse for health.

Roads don't generally want to or expect to hold a baby close thought.

🙄

Though, not thought.

And people have to walk on roads. They don't have to let particular people hold their child. One isn't a realistic choice. The other is. They aren't comparable.

You may be overestimating the power of that "nice fragrance." With a heavy smoker the stench can come out of every pore, especially with physical exertion. I had the misfortune of being paired with one such individual at martial arts practice once, and he essentially didn't need either skill or physical force - he could have just put everybody to instant flight just with the black cloud rolling off him!

Car exhausts are much worse.

Just walking along the streets.

They are completely comparible. One, the smoker, purely via the smell on clothes, is a very minimal risk to the health of a baby. Exposing a baby to particulate pollution is a much greater risk.

@GrumpyPanda Don't worry I do not do physical excertion. I can't or my bones would break. It feels like a bit mean as I said I fully understand non smokers think/ know smokers smell. I'm not going to stop smoking though and no-one I know has a baby. I'm not well and it's one minor vice so I'm continuing but not planning on becoming a midwife anytime soon.

It's not. It's called science. Cigarettes kill people everyday. Let me guess you also don't believe in vaccinations or carseats?

@Overthebow
Do not listen to@VeniVidiWeeWee she is talking absolute tripe.

Smoke contains 4000 carcinogens they stick to the clothes of the smoker which your baby will then be breathing in when held by the smoker.

Babies have a higher respiratory rate than an adult smaller lungs and an immature immune system. Being held by a smoker who has not changed their clothes or washed their hands increases the risk of:

SIDS
Respiratory illnesses pneumonia bronchitis
Bacterial meningitis
Ear infections

Do not let a smoker hold your baby they should at best change their top and wash their hands thoroughly.
Second hand smoke remains circulating in a room two and a half hours after that cigarette has been smoked. Those carcinogens cling to furnishings curtains carpets clothing even pets.
I am a midwife this is what we advise your baby deserves a smoke free environment.

Third hand smoke is a thing.

Your child will not die of SIDS from being held one time by someone who smelled of smoke.

This wouldn’t worry me at all. I doubt the baby would come to any harm at all since the man wasn’t actually smoking and had walked into the house so presumably left the gas he was standing in outside.

Pretty standard advice that smoking is harmful to children, even if the smoker does it elsewhere/outside.

'Whenever and wherever you smoke, poisons such as nicotine, tar, and carbon monoxide can get into your hair and clothes and remain there for at least an hour.'

It MUST at a minimum, be unpleasant for the baby. The smell of stale cigarette smoke is strong. I wasn’t a fan of people with super strong perfume or aftershave holding my babies.

Having parents who smoke is the single biggest risk factor for SIDS. OP, this was a few minutes out of your baby’s entire existence (including in utero). You having a smoke free home is so much more important than letting one smoker friend briefly hold her one time. Don’t let this cause your anxiety levels to spiral.
By all means look up recommendations for smokers around babies and ask your friends to stick to those rules (try lullaby trust or NHS sources).
For now, take your baby for a walk in the fresh air, give her a bath and change her clothes and then let it go.