To be upset that DS has applied to join the army?

[Mumof2NDers]

DS2 is 16 and has applied to join the army! I’m supporting him through the application process and I’m accompanying him to an event at Catterick next week but I’m scared that he won’t get in and be devastated. I’m equally scared that he might get in.
The opportunities for training and travel are amazing and could set him up for life but the state of the world at the moment is a worry.
I tried to delay the process by asking him to go to college for one year (hoping he would change his mind) but he only lasted 8 weeks because it wasn’t really what he wanted.
DM told me to put my big girl pants on and help him to achieve his dream or risk him resenting me forever for trying to stop him.

Hi OP, I can understand why you feel worried but also believe it would be an exciting career for your son.

I'd be interested hear how he gets on this weekend. My son has ADHD and he might like to join one of the armed forces too (when he's older).

Good luck to your son this weekend!

No, he started refusing to take it when he was about 12 because he said it changed his personality (it did) and he quite likes who he is! 😀

https://mpct.co.uk/

My ds was a nightmare teen at 14...army life was the making of him.

That’s the next step. 😀. He’s been invited to Catterick for a day next week. If he enjoys that he’ll be enrolling in an MPCT.

If he was my ds I would be very proud of him. It’s great he knows what he wants to do and you are supportive of that.

Thankyou.
I’ll return to this thread next week and let you know.

You don’t need a degree to join as an officer, you need A levels. You will probably get promoted quicker with a degree though. Like Prince William with a degree got promoted quicker than Harry who didn’t have one.

The armed forces made me the person I am today, confident, driven, and with a masters and in an excellent career.
Good luck to him, he’s going to have so many opportunities.
I’d be pleased if my kids wanted to join up, probably the RAF as we’re both ex air force, but any of them really.

My DN applied at 16 and was accepted but went to a nearby military college until a place came up in order to keep her fitness up - and you need to be really fit to do well in basic training. She started at 17yrs old. She has gone into the engineering side and over two years later is loving it. DN is fully qualified in her field, is about to get a promotion and her first long distance posting. She suits the army life really well.
A lot of people, including school, were shocked at her career choice and some people still find it hard to accept but she just didn't see herself in college doing academic stuff or working in an office or retail etc. Honestly the army is a good career for those who work hard and can accept the hard discipline of the first year and they will learn a good sought after trade to boot.

I’d be devastated truthfully OP
(you did ask for opinions)

Ive seen several people I know go through careers in the army and the impact on them of being away from partners and children so much for so long was not something I would want for my child. It can be incredibly difficult to deal with and the support wasn’t always what it could have been.
All of those I know have also really struggled after they left- with finding good jobs, settling into life where they have to organise themselves for housing etc and again the impact on their relationships.

Also got a son who has applied for Harrogate. He's 16 in June. I sway between absolutely devastated and just so very proud. I don't think they can go on the front line until they're older anyway but it's all he's wanted to do. Only today I was having this conversation with someone however, and showed them all the pictures I have on my phone of him dressing up as a soldier as a child and then all the pictures I have taken of him as a cadet. She said that the army was obviously his passion and she's right. He counted down the days until he could join cadets and has attended twice a week for years now and done all the weekends and camps he could. In fact he's teaching drill to cadets as I type. Harrogate is the next step. If they want to do it, then we need to get behind them and just put on a brave face!

My friends son goes in at the beginning of March to Harrogate, he’s only 16. His selection was ok but medical was tough failed on something very simple, had to get a letter from GP. A bit like your son, friends group not great and no idea what he wanted to do. I’ll admit I thought wtf but you know what if they stick the initial training they get fantastic opportunities. Once he’s applied he’ll be added to a fb group of all the recruits and parents, very useful. As a Mum I totally hear you though but it’s his life and he’s got to live it . As a by note my friends hubby who is mid 50’s was the same at 16 and he has led the most extraordinary life, he’s out now but has a fantastic job and army pension. Good luck to him!

Thank you for your honest opinion. I have many worries but don’t want to be the one to stand in his way.
My DF was in the RAF for 22 years. We moved with him everywhere he went. He ended up in a fantastic career as a computer analyst/programmer but I’m under no illusion it doesn’t work that way for everyone.

@Notamum12345577 You're right, you don't need a degree but you get promoted a hell of a lot quicker and it does open more doors for you. Of course you have to have the right personality etc, I'm just saying my DH was desperate to join the army at 17 and has said many times he is grateful to his parents that they insisted he wait until older and had a degree.

But most officers don't know what they're talking about as they have no experience. People don't respect them. My DH been in the marines 22 years. He's done Sierra Leone Iraq Afghan 7 tours in total and the young officers go to him all the time. They haven't done one tour.

This is what my uncle did with my cousin, so that he would join higher up the ranks. My cousin is quite high up now. He's too old to be front line but some other secret stuff he can't tell us about. He still loves it.

My colleague's son joined at 16. He's now 26 and has a CBE!

That’s amazing!!

Excellent idea. One of ours did this, it’s the foundation for a fabulous career.

My brother wasn't a nightmare but he'd left school with few qualifications, worked a few years in a job with few prospects and then joined the Royal Marines. He only served 4 years but it was the making of him.

On leaving, he did a course in the (then) newly-emerging field of fibre optic Technology, had several years working around the world for big money and then settled down and has held down a very lucrative career in telecoms management. He also studied for a degree in law and has a masters.

The military really can - for determined young people - transform their lives.

Good for him, even if it's difficult for you. It's an amazing life for the right type of person. He needs to do everything to improve his physical fitness between now and getting it - even if he thinks he's fit. Strength and stamina will make basic training easier.

Yanbu to be scared... and yanbu to support him. Its a good way to get away from gangs, teenage stupidity etc.

I'm a wife rather than a mother... you won't stop worrying. But they do get great opportunities. Just don't show your son your worry... my mother celebrated when I failed my medical and it made me feel even worse and useless. It was the right thing that I failed (my medical condition, although minor, has a got a lot worse other the years)

Good luck to your son. And to you.

Aw no, you're not unreasonable - it's reasonable and very normal to be worried about him signing up for a potentially dangerous role.

My brother wasn't as young as your son when he signed up (I think 20 or 21) and the whole family had similar concerns - that he wouldn't make it, wasn't cut it for it etc etc. My brother was pretty lazy tbh so not entirely unfounded!

But... It has been the making of him, a changed man. He's risen through the ranks, he's travelled, they've put him through uni... We are so proud!

It'll be OK OP (and even if it's not, you'll still love him and support him like you've been doing - you're a good parent).

Make sure you and he know your rights, what you are signing up for, what information will be shared. Lots of people have a good experience there, but go in with your eyes open. Going into a forces career, he needs to make sure he keeps life skills and has a plan for afterwards or if he has to leave unexpectedly, that's where things can be difficult.