I'm 28, well educated, have a job which I enjoy mostly (the work is great the environment less so), I have a 19 month old little boy who I adore. I'm in a relationship but realistically we are fighting to keep it alive and not doing a good job.
When I returned to work from maternity leave, a new hire had also just started, grad role. Same job as me pretty much exactly and on the same team so we were going to be working closely together. It was made clear I should be doing some of her training but in end she was training me as I'd forgotten so much over maternity leave. She is smart, funny, genuinely kind, very approachable even though she has an air of confidence and charisma like no other. This all matched with her being intimidatingly attractive, honestly she could be a supermodel!! She isn't ridiculously privileged (similar background to me, middle class, grammar school both went to very good unis). Now normally I'd be jealous of that type of girl but appreciate she will have her flaws and I'm great as I am.
However I've noticed real professional benefits to the way she is. We have a massive issue with men especially on other teams being downright disrespectful. Publicly shaming women for mistakes anyone could accidentally make, overloading women with work etc. For the "attractive" girls they seem to rumour about their weight or give unwanted cheek kisses.
Reports have been made to HR but frankly they are part of the problem and collecting evidence to go further is hard. Very few women in senior roles and those who are don't seem to care.
The new girl however seems to have the perfect balance. All the men (and women) respect her, senior management are already paying attention to her. Part of our job involves being alert and flexible sometimes a massive piece of work will need done very last minute in response to external factors and she has got herself the reputation of being the go to girl for that as she is thorough, fast and extremely good.
The men don't flirt with her or question her looks or sexualise her but they also don't downright disrespect her or treat her like she is less than (which they do to the women who are maybe less conventionally attractive).
I love my job but working alongside her is making me insanely jealous, more productive, better at the job, better respected, frankly a kinder person than I am all while being insanely beautiful and smart.
I'm the opposite, plain, a bit grumpy so not always kind and I'm good at my job but not incredible.
Lately I keep catching myself wishing I was her just for a sag to experience that level of beauty/brains and personality all rolled into one.
AIBU to feel this way? How do I get over it?