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AIBU?

To just want my children to grow up?

66 replies

Rainbowunicornsparkle · 07/02/2024 18:29

I know probably loads of people will tell me IABU and that I should enjoy it, days are long but years are short etc but right now I feel I just can’t wait for them to get older, not necessarily grown up and leaving home but maybe school age, 5 and 7? At the moment they are 6 months and 3. The baby is unsettled all the time, hates being held but cries if put down. The 3 year old is defiant and difficult, everything is a battle.

I just want to move on. No nappies, naps, weaning, nursery fees, broken nights, early mornings, exhaustion, I just hope there’s a more enjoyable time round the corner as I hate to say it but I’m really not loving being a mum to them at these ages.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

210 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
24%
You are NOT being unreasonable
76%
Containerhome · 07/02/2024 18:55

I heard 30 is a good age...🤣

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Futb0l · 07/02/2024 18:56

Yanbu. Mine are rising 5 and 7 and its great, much easier than when they were little.

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lavenderlou · 07/02/2024 18:58

There are a few brief, golden years when things are reasonable (5-10) but then it's all downhill again. I keep wishing the rest of my DCs' childhoods away but, as things stand, I'm worried they will be living with me forever and things will never get any easier!

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idontlikealdi · 07/02/2024 18:59

I miss 5-10 the most with DTs. The early years really were Groundhog Day.

Now I've got hormonal almost 13 year olds it's going to be an interesting few years. Then I think if they go uni they're only going to be living with for another 5 years and as they get older I'll see them less and less.

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tinyem77 · 07/02/2024 19:00

Bloody hell, I hated those younger years, and now the bigger (m) child is very self sufficient, however, the younger (f) is more needy than ever but in other ways. I love that she still needs me, but when she was 2 I could leave her in the house without her chasing me down the drive, now that she's 14 I have to drive like a formula driver just to get off the drive without her. I'm sure, in time, I'll regret this 😁

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Coffeeandmarmaladetoast · 07/02/2024 19:00

MajorCleven · 07/02/2024 18:31

5 and 7 isn't great either. I think ten or eleven is when it gets easier. And then harder again 😂 I get it though, you feel you're wishing your life away!

Omg thank you so much for saying this because it's still really hard for me at this age and it's made me think I'm not mad for thinking it might still get better Flowers

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someonethatyoulovetoomuch · 07/02/2024 19:04

Oh god I could have written this myself. Mine are 4 & 15 months, the 15 month old wants to be held constantly, still wakes overnight and nothing we’ve tried to tackle his sleep has worked. He screams when I leave the room, screams if his brother comes to me for a hug, screams for food but then throws it all on the floor. I do not cherish every moment, I can’t wait for this stage to pass. Really looking forward to having a 4 and a 7 year old in a few years.

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VivaVivaa · 07/02/2024 19:15

I hear you OP. Also the proud owner of a 6 mo and a 3 yo. Baby pretty standard, has his moments but is generally a sunny character. 3 yo is tricky, always has been. Individually, they are pretty easy, especially the baby. Together it’s exhausting and relentless! I am physically broken and absolutely dreading half term next week 😫 SIL has a 7 and 9 yo and she seems to have her sh*t together more than me so here’s hoping 😂

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Mamoun · 07/02/2024 19:16

MajorCleven · 07/02/2024 18:31

5 and 7 isn't great either. I think ten or eleven is when it gets easier. And then harder again 😂 I get it though, you feel you're wishing your life away!

I have a 5 and a 7 and it is so easy in comparison. That's my experience only.

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OCDmama · 07/02/2024 19:24

No I get you. I've got a 3.5 yo and a 1 (next week!) yo.

It's really tough. We want a third for sure but it is so exhausting!

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prescribingmum · 07/02/2024 19:30

You’re in the thick of it so I don’t blame you one bit for feeling like this. When youngest was 6 months, my older had just turned 2 and it was so hard. DH worked long hours, I was alone with them all day after no sleep at night - no other exhaustion compares!. Parenting toddlers wasn’t my thing, I find it tedious and relentless

They are now 5 and 7 and a million times easier! I love everything about them and now look forward to taking time off in school holidays to spend days with them (compared to preferring them in childcare when toddlers). It does get easier

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DrinkFeckArseBrick · 07/02/2024 19:39

I don't blame you. Mine are 6 and 8 and it's really nice going away for the weekend with just a rucksack each, no nappies, no buggies, teddies or excessive planning. Playdates where you can just leave them to play on their own safely. Activities that we can all actually enjoy like family cycles or roller discos or going to see home alone rather than soft play and paw patrol. After (usually) a full night's sleep. Being able to be a bit flexible with bedtimes without it always leading to a total meltdown. There are things I miss though (trying to get out the house with a baby and a toddler is not one of them)

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eggbot · 07/02/2024 19:40

7/8 is a REALLY annoying age

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cinnamonbiscuit · 07/02/2024 19:53

I also have a 6 month old and a 3 year old, I totally hear you! I alternate between feeling like this, and then getting teary whenever the little one grows out of a clothing size as we're not having any more. It's an emotional rollercoaster, and while I am fed up with nappies, lack of sleep etc, I know in 5/10/15 years time I'll look back and miss it all.

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MissyB1 · 07/02/2024 19:58

Bopk · 07/02/2024 18:44

Mine are all over 13 and I've cried many times waiting them to be babies again :(


The baby and toddler years were my favourite. I miss it so much. So much love and laughter.

Same here. I have 3 boys and bloody loved the baby and toddler years! Would do it all again in a heartbeat.

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Mermaidsarereal · 07/02/2024 19:58

Bad news - they aren't much better at 5 or 7! It does get easier in that they can entertain themselves more but I have an almost 12 year old and its now moving on to hormonal tantrums!

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LilBus · 07/02/2024 20:00

Bopk · 07/02/2024 18:44

Mine are all over 13 and I've cried many times waiting them to be babies again :(


The baby and toddler years were my favourite. I miss it so much. So much love and laughter.

Same here, everyone seems to hate the baby and toddler stage, they were my favourite ages! Glad it’s not just me

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theduchessofspork · 07/02/2024 20:02

It’s a horribly tough stage. YANBU

7-11 is often lovely

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theduchessofspork · 07/02/2024 20:03

eggbot · 07/02/2024 19:40

7/8 is a REALLY annoying age

See I LOVE that age.

They are so excited and interested in the world, and you can have proper conversations with them.

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SocialistSally · 07/02/2024 20:07

I can relate, in that I would have said the same. However the teenage years are so much harder. Or maybe all the stage are hard, just different.

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jhpf · 07/02/2024 20:25

@Scab99 I'm you. Flowers

I hate it all, nursery, one at school, so small. I just want to keep them little forever.

I'm a sane, rational person usually. Retired solicitor. Yet when my baby tells me it was her worst day ever because nobody played with her, I want to scream.

Nobody is bullying her, sometimes kids don't want to play, I emphatically encourage her, but wow. That's hard.

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Namechangenamechange321 · 07/02/2024 20:36

Bopk · 07/02/2024 18:44

Mine are all over 13 and I've cried many times waiting them to be babies again :(


The baby and toddler years were my favourite. I miss it so much. So much love and laughter.

I’m genuinely glad you enjoyed it. I bet you were good at slowing down to child’s pace. I was ok with one but struggled so much with two when they were tiny. I shudder to think of it. There was definitely love, some laughter, but a lot of stress too….

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MouseMama · 07/02/2024 20:38

You’re not unreasonable. Mine are 2.5 and 5 years and I feel like I can finally relax just a little. Of course they’re adorable little people when they’re tiny but it’s incredibly hard work.

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Contraversialcate · 07/02/2024 20:40

Funbots · 07/02/2024 18:45

Ha, I could have written this about 7 years ago!! The relentlessness of the younger years was awful and I often longed for a time when things would be easier and my daughter would be more independent. She’s now nearly 7 and honestly I miss those days so much! When you think about it it is really just a short period of time in the 18 years they’re a child, but agree it feels never ending at the time.

what do you miss about those days compared to now?

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Scab99 · 07/02/2024 20:43

jhpf · 07/02/2024 20:25

@Scab99 I'm you. Flowers

I hate it all, nursery, one at school, so small. I just want to keep them little forever.

I'm a sane, rational person usually. Retired solicitor. Yet when my baby tells me it was her worst day ever because nobody played with her, I want to scream.

Nobody is bullying her, sometimes kids don't want to play, I emphatically encourage her, but wow. That's hard.

I absolutely get this 😢 I'm a bloody reception teacher as well!!!!!! It's so hard though, so hard.

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