To tell my son he should do something that earns more than teaching

[NameChangeAgainAgainAgainAgain]

My son is good at everything. Parent's evening yesterday and all the teachers said he could easily get 9s at almost all his GCSEs but he's a bit lazy as he finds things quite easy.

He plays 2 instruments to grade 6+ standard. He learns fast. He's great at sciences, maths, computing.

He wants to be a PE teacher.

AIBU to tell him to think about doing something else? He could literally do anything and has chosen this. I am a bit disappointed I suppose, thought he might go Barrister/Actuary/Doctor or something.

As a parent to a nearly adult it isn't your job to "tell" them anything.

It is your job to try to encourage them/help them to research so they make a fully informed decision, even if the decision is one you might not agree with.

That research should include the different lifestyles different jobs/salaries might give you - so a teaching positive might be long holidays, where a Dr positive is the potential for a huge salary once fully qualified and specialising and the lifestyle that goes with that, and of course the many negatives of both careers too.

No they aren’t. I was a teacher for 25 years.

Some of this advice is ridiculous.

16yos simply don't have a broad enough worldview to know which options are available to them.

If he has the academic ability to do something more, he should do more. Nothing wrong with being a PE teacher, but why not aspire to earn more and stretch himself more if clearly clever and gifted in musical instruments

All jobs are hard. My daughter is in sales and is so stressed at times from the pressure. It is not unusual for her to be working late into the evening. Maybe your son sees the benefits more than the pitfalls of being a teacher like long school holidays.

That's really unfair on your DCs.
Our job as DPs is to help them explore options, give them the conditions to get the best results they are capable of and try to help them become capable, confident adults.

Providing their adult career choice isn't sitting in their existing bedroom doing something dubious on the internet, with the DPs continuing to pay for bills and food, then they should be able to choose what suits them best.

My DPs have always been very sniffy about any form of administration or management within the NHS. I'm currently looking at other career options, if a job in the NHS presents itself I will take it because it's my choice how to pay my bills.

Because life is about relationships and happiness, not about money.

Why are you basing your judgement of his success on his choice of career. Why is a barrister 'better' than a teacher? Why is a doctor better than say an antiques dealer ? What's impressive is finding your thing and doing it to the best of your ability and living a good life of integrity and emotional maturity.

Why do you think being a PE teacher won't stretch someone. If someone is a committed and amazing teacher they can inspire a cohort of young people to believe in themselves and prove themselves to be able to do more than they ever could. How is this not one of the most worthwhile achievements you could achieve? Because it earns less money????? Really??????

Why is music more stretching? What sort of job is that going to lead to?

I think you just have to make sure he has all the information. I genuinely didn’t realise the job path I picked meant I was destined for a very average salary and therefore lifestyle, I just chose it because I thought I’d enjoy it, which I do.I could have found something I enjoyed equally for better pay I think and I wish I had.

He needs to know you’ll be happy and proud whatever path he chooses. I would just fully explain how mortgages in relation to salaries work etc and explore what his choice will mean for the future. And explore what other careers there are in areas he’s interested in which might pay more if he agrees that’s something worth thinking about.

Lots of single teachers or teachers married to other teachers with a family near us (south east) have had to move north to live as unless the teacher is married to banker, for example, it’s untenable.

Hello! Teacher here. I don't think it's a surprise your son is thinking about being a teacher since those are the adult role models he spends the majority of his week with. He probably doesn't know about that many other jobs. I would definitely think about how you can widen his horizons through work experience/ spending a day with people in different professions perhaps.

I love teaching despite its challenges, but wouldn't recommend PE teacher specifically for a few reasons:

• You're often working right through lunch (friend in PE dept just grabs a protein shake because he's always running clubs through lunch)
• It's less common (although not uncommon) to be promoted compared to core curriculum subjects. Partly because you can often not be around at lunch time or after school which is when head of years need to be dealing with things. Or rightly or wrongly, you can be perceived as less academic so less likely to be promoted towards the academic deputy head side of things.
• It's much more competitive than other subjects. Primary schools often buy in their PE teaching from unqualified teachers working for companies and private schools rely on gap year students etc for quite a bit of the sport coaching.
• I worked at a failing school where we struggled to recruit. So the school advertised for "PE teachers with a bit of geography" kind of thing then in reality put the poor bloke all in geography with no PE.
• Aforementioned friend is quitting being a PE teacher to become a fire fighter because he's had enough.

If he's seriously interested in teaching and a high flyer, I would suggest he considers other subjects, like maths or science.

I'm sure others will come back at me with different perspectives, though.

I see where you are coming from but what if he just Dosen’t want to do a job where no physical exercise is involved, ie a desk job
Suggesting barrister/ actuary/ medicine are vastly different careers

PE teaching might be an enjoyable job,

I would have a conversation with him about how expensive life in general can be and if he is a PE teacher it might take him a lot longer to get on the property ladder etc etc

Maybe he could go and see a good career advisor to talk through some other options that might be more profitable that he would like

I did very well academically, I have multiple degrees and professional qualifications, I decided to work in the criminal justice system. I'm now at a fairly senior level and my pay is decent but nothing compared to what I probably could've earned in the private/corporate sector. I actually did a very corporate financially motivated job, my first few years after graduation. My parents are just very proud of the fact that the work I do makes a difference to people's lives rather than the amount of money in my bank account

No they aren’t well paid. Where did you get this idea? For the level of qualifications and the time involved in the job, they are far worse paid than other jobs which need the same qualifications and the same hours.

@NameChangeAgainAgainAgainAgain - it sounds like your son is a bright boy, so I am sure he is aware of how much you and your dh struggle - so he is (possibly) going into this with his eyes wide open - that's a good thing.

My parents were both teachers (though mum went on to being a Youth Employment Officer, and stopped work when my sister and I came along), and my middle son is a teacher, and I know how much work it is - but I also know how rewarding it can be - as I am sure you do too. Honestly, knowing ds2 as well as I know him, I am sure he has picked the right career, and I am proud of him.

It is pretty early days yet - if I were you, I'd be encouraging your son to look at degree courses that would lead him towards a career in PE, rather than a specific teaching degree, because that will give him more flexibility in the future - if he does something sports science based, he will be able to go on and do the PGCE if he wants to, but he'd also have other careers open to him.

Would it be possible for him to do any volunteering in classrooms, while he is still at school? At ds2's senior school, the top years were encouraged to help out as assistants in some classes, and the prefects were expected to be available, on a rota, in the dining room for younger kids to come and ask for help with their school work. Ds2 also got involved in drama and sports - not just participating but helping to organise - all of which gave him more understanding of what teaching involved. To be honest, when I saw how much he threw himself into all aspects of school life, and took on responsibility, that was what made me think that teaching might be a good career for him.

He did a maths degree - and whilst teaching was in his mind as one possible career, it was by no means the only thing he considered - but when he graduated, he had used the four years of his degree to narrow down his choices, and he decided to do the PGCE.

We shouldn't be discouraging good, academic teens away from teaching. Where do we end up then?

We should be working to drive teacher satisfaction upwards to retain and invite academic people in teaching.

Also, why should he be a barrister/actuary/etc if he doesn't want to be one?

One of the teachers (not a headteacher) at my son's state school earns £110k!!!!

To be fair, most teachers on MN complain about the pay, and say they work most of the holidays, and are thinking of leaving because conditions are so bad...and even without being a teacher, I know that public sector jobs aren't generally known for bring particularly well paid.
(I say this as someone who earns roughly the same as an NQT in a private sector job!)

DH is a PE teacher. His degree was sports science and geography. He now teaches PE and geography and is HOD across the two. earns c 70k. Next step is to do whatever he needs to do exam wise to go for headship. Out of the four he lived with at uni 3 doing the same course, 3 are teachers, one is in the police.

Whilst it would be nice if he had a higher salary (i'm the higher earner), what it has saved us in childcare over holidays when kids were young is £££££.

It's up to him what he does.

One of the teachers (not a headteacher) at my son's state school earns £110k!!!!

It's not a standard teacher salary though as the upper pay scale outside of London stops at £46k so anything above that would be leadership roles.

The leadership scale goes up to L43 and that's £131k outside of London.

If this person isn't a headteacher I'd imagine they've managed to get themselves a central leadership role in a MAT working across different schools.

Not wanting your DS to be a teacher is very valid. Making it primarily about money is not.

What is their role?

Push for maths and Stem at ALEVEL and get him in to maths. Being a PE teacher on £30k a year may seem great, but if you're bright and capable, aim for fair more money.

Its unreasonable to try and force your opinion but not unreasonable to help him consider whether that is the lifestyle he wants to live.

ie explain positives and negatives of possible careers and leave it to him to decide if that is right for him.

e.g

Positives - good job security, can live anywhere (as everywhere needs schools),

Negatives - Lower salary than other careers he has the ability to do. Only holidays during school holiday so more expensive

etc etc

Help him work out what kind of life he wants to live and whether it is right for him based on that. What does he want from life?

My grandchild is doing GCSEs this summer, averaging 6s and 7s and loves PE (an 8). Has muttered about 'doing' PE in the future and Mum has muttered back while pointing him in a more general selection of options post GCSE. 'Always keep many doors open in case you change your mind' was my mum's approach to education.