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AIBU?

I'm such an idiot

52 replies

bathtimep · 06/02/2024 21:01

I went out with friends a few weeks agofor the first time since my breakup. I was on my own while they were dancing, this guy was being sweet to me and buying me drinks. He seemed like such a sweetheart. We went back to mine and slept together.

The next morning he initiated sex again, we then had breakfast and he left. My housemate left to go to wales, said she needed to speak to me.

He kept messaging me, just normal stuff like how he enjoyed spending time with me, cuddling was nice, how we can see each other again and watch some films. I asked if he wanted to go on a date, he said yes he'd look forward to it.

He seemed to really like me.

Anyway my housemate got back today and she told me while we were upstairs having sex, his phone kept ringing. She went to silence it and saw lots of missed calls on the Home Screen from a woman. She then saw a message from his friend calling me an easy slag.

She went through his messages (bad I know) and his friend is calling me easy; saying he will sleep with me next week. The man I'm sleeping with is laughing along. Meanwhile he's then telling a woman (the one who kept calling) that I am ugly, he doesn't like me but I'm easy even if the sex is shit. He's apologising to her (she must be his wife) and at the same time saying it's her fault he slept with me because he can't have her????!!!

I feel so stupid.

If I'm that ugly and rubbish in bed why was he sleeping with me again and sending nice messages about wanting to spend time together etc?

He seemed so nice and honest.

Why am I so stupid

OP posts:
Sherrycat · 06/02/2024 21:15

Oh dear, casual sex isn’t for the faint of heart. Been there, bought the tshirt. I got used a few times in my younger yrs. it’s a horrible feeling. Just ghost him.

Windydaysandwetnights · 06/02/2024 21:16

Text him now telling him you won't be seeing him again because he has a small penis... Then block him.

AllEars112232 · 06/02/2024 21:19

How did he write all those messages to his “wife” if he was having sex upstairs and his phone was downstairs.
And who has a phone with no security lock?

Are you sure your housemate was telling you the truth?

StopTheBusINeedAWeeWeeAWeeWeeBagOChips · 06/02/2024 21:20

I would be tempted to break it off, tell him you just fancied an easy lay, which he was, but he wasn't worth the bother, you have better sex alone.

In reality I would probably just ghost him.

He sounds like an absolute arsehole, glad you found out sooner rather than later.

TheSnowyOwl · 06/02/2024 21:21

How likely is it that your housemate is being completely honest here?

ChildofSunday · 06/02/2024 21:23

I think your housemate might be lying. Did she see/meet him? Maybe she’s slept with him in the past?

Jagley · 06/02/2024 21:23

AllEars112232 · 06/02/2024 21:19

How did he write all those messages to his “wife” if he was having sex upstairs and his phone was downstairs.
And who has a phone with no security lock?

Are you sure your housemate was telling you the truth?

This, it doesn't make sense. Are you sure you trust your housemate?

bathtimep · 06/02/2024 21:26

He doesn't have a security lock I know that. He was messaging the friend while we were in the pub.. she doesn't know him at all. The whole time he's talking to me in the pub he's messaging laughing at me. It's so evil. My housemate took a photo of one of the messages, which she said wasn't the worst of it.

Am I really ugly and bad in bed? Why would he sleep with me again then? Or is he just an evil person

OP posts:
Janetime · 06/02/2024 21:28

What do you mean she must be his wife, that makes no sense.

Sherrycat · 06/02/2024 21:29

I wouldn’t send any messages criticising him as suggested op. He knows where you live. Best to be safe than sorry.

Janetime · 06/02/2024 21:30

AllEars112232 · 06/02/2024 21:19

How did he write all those messages to his “wife” if he was having sex upstairs and his phone was downstairs.
And who has a phone with no security lock?

Are you sure your housemate was telling you the truth?

Yes the whole thing makes no sense.

ChildofSunday · 06/02/2024 21:30

I would be tempted to send him the photo of the message and say, ‘you should
think about locking your phone before you message vile things to your friends and ex girlfriend, you tiny dicked c**t’ but that’s just me….
sorry you are feeling down about this, but it really is a reflection on him, not you.

Sharksarescary · 06/02/2024 21:32

Don’t give him or his entourage any more head space.

Janetime · 06/02/2024 21:33

So he’s texting about how shit the sex is, how ugly you are, laughing along. But his phone is downstairs, your mate is reading the messages, and he’s upstairs with you, how’s he managed that then, does he communicate with his phone by mind control?

Wellhellooooodear · 06/02/2024 21:35

You're not stupid and I very much doubt you are ugly and bad in bed either, you've just been unfortunate enough to meet an absolute bellend. Tell him to fuck off.💐

OhmygodDont · 06/02/2024 21:36

Just stop messaging him and forget him.

are you ugly and shit in bed? Probably not unless you just lay there like a dead starfish.

However his trying and a weird lads lad way to big himself up ahahahaha I’m getting sex sex sex. She’s easy she ugly. She’s shit…


now think about that though. Why the fuck would a man be genuinely bragging about a shit ugly easy shag… if it was all
actually true he wouldn’t want anyone to know he was anywhere near you.

Shitty ladish banter that’s just pure shit. Probably to a mate who can’t get a lay at all.

EveryDayIsASchoolDayOnMN · 06/02/2024 21:37

Janetime · 06/02/2024 21:33

So he’s texting about how shit the sex is, how ugly you are, laughing along. But his phone is downstairs, your mate is reading the messages, and he’s upstairs with you, how’s he managed that then, does he communicate with his phone by mind control?

Yes this exactly.

OP - I have some beans to sell if you are interested

Alwaystired2023 · 06/02/2024 21:37

Your not ugly or bad in bed OP !

This man clearly has a lot going on and isn't in a good place etc, sounds like whatever this previous relationship sitch is is a bit of a mess

Try not to internalise this all says more about him than it does about you, block him / forget him / message him saying your shit in bed don't contact me again / whatever you like then chalk it up to experience and move on

OppsUpsSide · 06/02/2024 21:39

Why did your housemate wait to get back from Wales to tell you? We phone signal and internet access in Wales…

Laiste · 06/02/2024 21:41

Well i'm guessing the texting about the sex was between the night and the morning sessions, and the house mate saw the phone in the morning.

OP says he was already texting while they were still in the pub.

Guys actually do have bets and jokes with each other about laying 'ugly' girls, god knows why.

Thing is OP, he's not sweet and you're not ugly or stupid. He caught you when you were vulnerable.

bathtimep · 06/02/2024 21:41

Sorry the way I worded it. It was the second time we were having sex. So he already knew how "bad" I was

OP posts:
EveryDayIsASchoolDayOnMN · 06/02/2024 21:42

This reply has been deleted

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OhmygodDont · 06/02/2024 21:42

Laiste · 06/02/2024 21:41

Well i'm guessing the texting about the sex was between the night and the morning sessions, and the house mate saw the phone in the morning.

OP says he was already texting while they were still in the pub.

Guys actually do have bets and jokes with each other about laying 'ugly' girls, god knows why.

Thing is OP, he's not sweet and you're not ugly or stupid. He caught you when you were vulnerable.

You don’t go back for “pork a piggy” once you’ve achieved the bet though. This guy wanted more and more.

828Pax · 06/02/2024 21:42

You are not an idiot OP, not at all!! He is obviously a prick...probably just showing off to his mates and thinking he is funny when in reality he is a dick. Block him and try not to let him get you down.

bathtimep · 06/02/2024 21:42

Janetime · 06/02/2024 21:28

What do you mean she must be his wife, that makes no sense.

He was apologising for being with me so I just assumed.

He told me they'd broke up at Xmas

OP posts:
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