To leave my husband even though he has announced mental health problems

[NearlyHeadlessNick]

I have told my husband we are over. He is a serial cheat and I'm out. He has now decided he has mental health issues and that he needs help.
I feel bad that I'm persevering with the split. But ultimately, I don't trust him.

AIBU? If he actually does have poor mental health? Other than feeling sorry for himself that I've actually done it? I suspect he didn't think I would. But I do feel guilty in case this is actually something like depression rather than being sorry he got caught.

Leave him to it, it is not your problem

Not your responsibility, OP. Even if he is suffering from depression, that’s not what destroyed your marriage. Mental health problems don’t force men to cheat on their wives.

Mental health doesn't excuse shit behaviour

You can sympathise while still splitting up from him.

He may well have self-diagnosed MH problems and need help, but that doesn't mean you have to stick around while that happens. Bad MH is not an excuse to cheat on your spouse multiple times. He's trying to shift his guilt on to you. Don't feel bad about leaving. Tell him you're going in order to preserve your own MH.

My ex h also pulled the mental problems stunt. I'm not saying it wasn't true but ultimately his issues were ruining my life so I put myself first.

What about your mental health and how it’s been compromised by his cheating?

Nothing he’s self diagnosing justifies his behaviour so it’s irrelevant.

Keep walking and don’t look back. You know you deserve so much more than he can give you.

Poor mental health doesn’t make you cheat
has his mental health problems only just come to light since so said your marriage was over?

This. Depression doesn’t mean he can cheat and it all be ok. It’s not an excuse.

Yeah, he just made that up so you won’t leave him. He sounds manipulative. Dump his sorry lying arse. He’s trying to get the sympathy vote from you. He’s just decided he’s got MH problems 🤦🏽‍♀️

No poor mental health is not an excuse for cheating. I've yet to see any medical research that shows the link.

Was his cock so depressed it just fell into another woman? Fucking chancer. Stay strong OP!

I don't think mental health problems make people shag around?

He can get the help he needs. It doesn't mean you need to stay with him.

XH was an abusive arsehole who tried to manipulate me when I initiated a split. He started counselling with a view to us working through things (I was skeptical because he never tried while we were together). Miraculously 🤨 he met someone new within a couple of weeks of us splitting! Gave up on the counselling (and me) but I was glad he was moving on. Honestly, when he told me he’d met someone else I thought ‘Oh good; he’s got someone else to moan to now’.
I’d say to your H it’s great he’s seeking some help but your position is firm. Stick to your guns. He won’t change and he will line up your replacement very quickly (if he hasn’t already). Good luck OP, stay strong!

You do not decide to have mental health issues and you deserve far better than this self seeking charlatan.

Don't give in to emotional blackmail. Depression usually makes people go into themselves and avoidant not seeking elicit hook ups.

Don’t be daft. You know he’s just trying to manipulate you.

Dump, move forwards, be free.

Yeah, they tend to feel a bit unhappy and anxious when their wife finally has enough of their penis falling into other women and they realise they might not have the house, lifestyle, cook, cleaner, standard sex and then exciting extra marital sex when the opportunity arises.

Set yourself free, OP. He's a manipulative lying cheat.

In all the time I had depression and ptsd I never once broke my marriage vows and jumped into bed with other men.
he is a manipulative arsehole, don’t believe a word he says.

You can leave your husband for any reason you want. His spontaneously self diagnosed mental health issue is unrelated, and is his responsibility not yours.

Self diagnosed mental health issues that only come to light when he's been caught? Hmmmmmm...

Please don't fall for one of the oldest tricks in the book. He's trying to gaslight and manipulate you. I would bet he'll next roll out the classic "I'm going to kill myself if you leave" bullshit. Don't fall for that, either.

Even is he depressed, that doesn’t mean he isn’t also, quite separately, a complete cunt. Any mental health problems he has (if they exist) are irrelevant to the fact that’s a horrible cheating bastard. Depression doesn’t only happen to nice people.

Feeling guilty for leaving a total git when he’s depressed is like feeling guilty for leaving a total git when he’s got asthma.

Funny how he has a recognised, diagnosed condition just as you're going out the door, isn't it?

YANBU

He could have told you far earlier, sought treatment far earlier and stopped being a cunt far, far earlier.

If you stay now and put up with his behaviour, he now has a stick to beat you with

I told you I can't help it
You're not supporting my recovery
It's your fault I'm like this
If you didn't do this, this and this, I wouldn't do that, that and that

Walk as soon as you can safely