To leave my husband even though he has announced mental health problems

[NearlyHeadlessNick]

I have told my husband we are over. He is a serial cheat and I'm out. He has now decided he has mental health issues and that he needs help.
I feel bad that I'm persevering with the split. But ultimately, I don't trust him.

AIBU? If he actually does have poor mental health? Other than feeling sorry for himself that I've actually done it? I suspect he didn't think I would. But I do feel guilty in case this is actually something like depression rather than being sorry he got caught.

99 votes and 100% agreement.

YANBU.

Nope. He's a grade A cunt. Ditch, and protect yourself.

Regardless of the exact situation, staying with someone because they have mental health issues and you feel bad leaving is not a reason to stay in a relationship.

Given the exact situation, it certainly sounds like he's just trying to manipulate you.

You can end a relationship for whatever reason you want. You're not obligated to stay because of his MH issues. If they are indeed real, because it sounds like he's trying to pull the sympathy card now.

My ex started threatening to kill himself if I didn't stay, he literally said it as the next sentence when I said I'd had enough and it was over. He also had a cancer scare, disappeared for a few days and sent his family who live ages away critic messages about ending things and then got mad when they called his friends not me to check on him and he did/ tried to organise everything I'd ever said I'd like in the 8 years we were together that I simply thought he was not listening to or couldn't do. It was all manipulation. I would simply tell him to call the drs and say I'd call the police to check on him if I got any hint that he was going to do something daft.

Keep walking. He sounds like an abusive piece of work, do not fall for what he's saying. His actions and words are not your responsibility. Well done for leaving!

Definitely agree, same here. It's also manipulation. His mental health issues will be based on him living a lie and hurting others, completely self inflicted.

He broke his marriage vows with the cheating so you owe him nothing.

Please don’t fall for his bullshit, dump his cheating arse asap.

Some behaviour and the consequences can cause poor mental health. Wish him well in therapy and that you hope he reflects on positive behaviour that can promote positive thought patterns. However you have your own MH, physical wellbeing and financial security to see to.

Suggest to him that one of the other people he's been sleeping with should support him through his MH issues.

@NearlyHeadlessNick of course he does!

His easy life is over now you've stood up for yourself.

F*ck him and his mental health. He wasn't putting any thought into your mental health while he was lying and cheating. Absolute joke of a man.

Next will be the suicide threats. Don't give him a minute more of your time. Each and every time he pouts and threatens to hurt himself, call 101 and ask for a welfare check and he'll soon stop.

Well done for knowing your own value and that you are deserving of real love. I hope we hear back from you down the line when you are living a better, fuller life with someone who knows how amazing you are. 🌺

It's all very convenient and you can no doubt expect him to threaten suicide at some point. All straight out of the arsehole handbook.

Not your problem.

It really isn't.

His treatment of you and behaviour led to this, not his mental health issues.

Stand firm. He has to go.

This. So much this.

Not your problem.

He's trying to excuse his disgusting behaviour. Ask yourself.... if it was the other way around and you had cheated and then claimed you had mental health problems, would he stick around and forgive you? I bet he wouldn't. Get out and save your sanity, because if you stay, he will ruin your mental health x

He has now decided he has mental health issues and that he needs help
He can still get that, even without you. I'm sure you leaving him will help your mental health enormously

Thank you everyone, I didn't mean to post and run.

Your support has really helped. in answer to someone's question - he told me about it before I told him I wanted to separately, but I'm fairly certain he knew that I knew the extent of his infidelity.
I have been looking into counselling for me to cement my thinking.
I have told him that yes he does need mental health support, but for himself, not our marriage.

There are some mental health disorders that increase risky sexual activity. EUPD being one of them. However I think if he had a personality disorder you’d know about it by now.

I’m talking from experience of being in a relationship with someone with bad mental health and my advice is to run away and don’t look back. I know it’s probably not what we’re supposed to say. But I could never put myself through it again.

To be honest though, your DH just sounds like a cheating scumbag trying to guilt you into staying