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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Who is being unreasonable?

56 replies

Tillow4ever · 05/02/2024 16:09

I don't think I am.... but "D"H (hereafter referred to as H) has just accused me of having a strop over this so maybe I am?

H is going away with work tomorrow for 2 days. It's a training course, staying overnight.

He has just told me he is car sharing with a woman from his company who lives in the next town over. Fine. Then he says "she is going to park her car on our driveway so I want to put hers tight up against the garage..." I interrupted at this point to say no way.

We have a shared drive with 5 neighbours total, but 3 of us in the "bottom" area. Theres just about space for 2 in front of our garage, next to the neighbours 2 cars. It's always very tight/busy - but it just about works.

I've said no because I don't want to be responsible for any damage that might happen to her car parked on our drive, if the neighbours need the cars moving for any reason I won't be insured to drive hers, if I need to get into the garage (unlikely to be fair) I won't be able to, and it means our family car is at the front of the cars, where it's more likely to get hit by another car attempting to reverse in/out (next door have had delivery drivers hit their car multiple times on the drive). It's just generally a pain in the arse.

I think she should park it on the road, or in the car park over the road that virtually no-one uses. Or get the train to us. Not quite sure why she's driving here for him to be the one to drive... other than H being sexist and always insisting on driving over a woman driving.

Anyway, am I being unreasonable to say no to this and that she should find somewhere else to park? Or is he for telling me this is what's happening without any consideration of any of the above or even asking me?

If you need a diagram I'll try to draw one after work - I'm rubbish at drawing!

OP posts:

DustyLee123 · 05/02/2024 16:13

It’s his drive too though, so I think YABU.

Icepop79 · 05/02/2024 16:15

It’s only 1 night! I think YABU.

Ginandjuice57884 · 05/02/2024 16:15

Presumably he's taking his car that's normally parked in the drive. If so, I don't understand the problem.

sprigatito · 05/02/2024 16:16

Why do you get to override him? I don't "say no" to DH like this, we discuss our concerns like adults and reach a consensus. It all sounds weirdly petty tbh.

Original poster

Tillow4ever · 05/02/2024 16:16

DustyLee123 · 05/02/2024 16:13

It’s his drive too though, so I think YABU.

It is - but he won't be the one here if there's any sort of issue. He's not the one who has to try to squeeze past the extra car when going in and out. When only 1 car is there, there's space to get out of our house. When 2 are there you have to squeeze right down the side.

OP posts:

Windydaysandwetnights · 05/02/2024 16:19

His and her choice. It will be insured... He can use the drive also. Stop interfering...

Notimeforaname · 05/02/2024 16:19

Yeah, of course you can tell her to park on the road or other car park so you are not inconvenienced.

If your husband wont tell her this for some reason, you will have to.

Louise0808 · 05/02/2024 16:19

I do think YABU. It's one night. I'm sure this woman knows the risks of her car being damaged anywhere she parks.
The joys of other drivers.

Carnewb · 05/02/2024 16:19

Well if his car isn't there then hers can go in the space that his would normally occupy?
Or why can't H pick her up?

I think you're both being a bit OTT about it tbh.

Original poster

Tillow4ever · 05/02/2024 16:20

Ginandjuice57884 · 05/02/2024 16:15

Presumably he's taking his car that's normally parked in the drive. If so, I don't understand the problem.

It's not normally on the drive other than overnight. And he's away with work most weeks, so it isn't normally on the drive several nights a week.

Plus if his work car gets damaged - work cover it. If this woman's car gets damaged, we'll have to pay for it. Or rather, if she claims it's been damaged.

It's more the fact he never even asked me. Just told me, this is happening. On a Tuesday night I'm in and out multiple times sorting the kids for various clubs and activities, parking is difficult - but at least when he's away, I actually have the space to park the car a bit easier!

Oh, and I have no idea how big this woman's car is either - neither does he.

OP posts:

CacenCaws · 05/02/2024 16:23

Plus if his work car gets damaged - work cover it. If this woman's car gets damaged, we'll have to pay for it. Or rather, if she claims it's been damaged

Why would you pay for it? she parks it at her own risk surely?

Catza · 05/02/2024 16:25

This is a lot of marital drama over nothing. If "this woman's" car gets damaged, she can claim it on HER insurance. I don't quite see how you would be liable for that.
If it were me, I would park my own car on the road for two days. I would park it there permanently, to be honest, seeing that your parking arrangement is nightmare anyway. In fact, that's exactly what I do as we have a very similar set up at our place.

EIIaJ · 05/02/2024 16:29

This all seems like a major overreaction to a car on a drive. Plus the fact that you refuse to call him DH, I mean come on.

Louise0808 · 05/02/2024 16:30

Are you anxious about parking in tighter spaces?

MixingPlaydough · 05/02/2024 16:30

It's one night I honestly can't believe how much you're overthinking this.

Has his car ever in all the time you've been in this house been damaged? Why do you think it's suddenly a given that hers will be when it's only going to be there for one night??

EC22 · 05/02/2024 16:31

Unreasonable.
with DH on this one

Original poster

Tillow4ever · 05/02/2024 16:33

CacenCaws · 05/02/2024 16:23

Plus if his work car gets damaged - work cover it. If this woman's car gets damaged, we'll have to pay for it. Or rather, if she claims it's been damaged

Why would you pay for it? she parks it at her own risk surely?

Because it's a private driveway so any damage that happens would be caused by us/someone on here and I don't think car insurance covers private property. Whereas parked on the road she would be covered.

OP posts:

LonginesPrime · 05/02/2024 16:34

I think it's only fair to warn the colleague that it's a shared drive with tight spaces, and that cars do sometimes do get damaged there as a result, so she can decide whether she wants to leave it there or not.

Then, if she decides she still wants to do it, it's not really your responsibility and you don't have to spend the whole time supervising her car - I'm sure no-one would expect you to take on that kind of responsibility.

Deathbyfluffy · 05/02/2024 16:35

Sorry, but you sound massively unreasonable here. It's one night for a work thing, you're getting stressed about nothing.

skippy67 · 05/02/2024 16:35

This isn't about the car.

GabriellaMontez · 05/02/2024 16:35

if the neighbours need the cars moving for any reason

Why would they? It's your drive.

Original poster

Tillow4ever · 05/02/2024 16:35

MixingPlaydough · 05/02/2024 16:30

It's one night I honestly can't believe how much you're overthinking this.

Has his car ever in all the time you've been in this house been damaged? Why do you think it's suddenly a given that hers will be when it's only going to be there for one night??

We've had the neighbours open their car door onto ours multiple times. Kids that play down the driveway scratching cars with bike handlebars. As I mentioned in my op, our neighbours have had 2 delivery drivers hit their vehicles trying to get in/out of the driveway.

OP posts:

Windydaysandwetnights · 05/02/2024 16:35

Op I think I envy you if this is really all you have to worry about....

Everanewbie · 05/02/2024 16:36

Sorry OP, I think you're being difficult here for difficulties sake. Is this a cover for an issue you have here with your husband hanging around with a work colleague? It just sounds like you want to throw spanner in the works somehow, but this insurance/liability thing is a bit of a longshot for a spanner. Would you feel the same if your mother/sister/best friend borrowed your driveway?

Iloveacurry · 05/02/2024 16:37

If she’s in the next town, why can’t he just go and pick her up on the way?

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