Am I wrong to distrust husband?

[PinocchiosWife]

Husband has form for lying. Big things and trivial things. Has to date lied about a number of big things, mostly to do with big purchases when we're skint. A laptop and a car are examples of this, along with repeatedly lying about doing therapy when he hasn't.
Today a new tablet appeared. Asked him how much, and he said £100. Great I said, maybe I can get one too. Cue him getting all angry at me because I "obviously don't believe him". At which point I say that actually I don't believe him as he often gets angry and defensive when caught out in a lie. I ask him to show me proof if he is telling the truth, and he says no, because, and I quote, "I've ruined his enjoyment of his new tablet now".

My question, am I being unreasonable to distrust him, or not?

He has form for lying. Why would you trust him?

Do you share finances, or do you have a set up whereby any money left over is your own money each to do as you please?

What do you think is going on here OP?

Why are you still together?

Has to date lied about a number of big things, mostly to do with big purchases when we're skint. A laptop and a car are examples of this, along with repeatedly lying about doing therapy when he hasn't.

shudder at the thought of being married to someone like this

I don’t think you are being unreasonable to think he isn’t telling the truth, because as you say, he has lied on several occasions about important things. I think it was good to explain why you suspected him when you questioned him about his laptop, as that showed him why you were suspicious. Would you find it helpful to do something like couple’s therapy to help you feel like you can trust him again?

Why are you with someone you don't trust?

Why are you still with him?

Sounds like you have married my ex husband, the 'you have ruined the enjoyment' line totally sounds like him.

Sorry to say OP, this was indicative of far larger issues in the relationship, mainly emotional abuse and cheating. Trust your gut.

YANBU, once trust is gone it’s gone.

Buy yourself the same laptop with family money and if he objects tell him it’s the same as his.

We share finances. He's spent the past 4 years working on a business that doesn't bring in an income so this is particularly gutting.

Am planning to tackle this in next weeks session.

Why am I still with him? I really don't know. Not much point in being with someone you don't trust is there.

Definitely will be doing this because have had enough.

What's worse than the deceit is the aftermath where I feel as if I have no faith in my own judgement.

This is who he is.
No amount of 'therapy' will change him.
Though it may help him play the victim and cover his tracks more successfully.
You know this won't get any better...
So whats your plan?

do you have children with him?

Unfortunately yes

No

Lying is lying.
The failed business aspect is worrying too. So basically you are funding his big spending lifestyle and farting about pretending to start up a business whilst being gas lighted into questioning your own judgement..
Harsh analysis . Sorry op. You need to end the relationship as best you can. Or be used as a cash cow for ever.

Joint therapy with a habitual liar will be futile and leave you feeling even less sure of yourself. Go solo.

oh no

i wouldn’t plan on CMS being forthcoming

is he self employed?

I think you'd be unreasonable for expecting him to tell the truth!

Yes

Can't get clearer than this

Your profile name says it all. Do you want to be Pinocchio's wife?

Your husband sounds like my selfish prick of a brother in law, who got himself a £10k loan to buy a new car when she was 9mo pregnant and about to go on maternity pay (she was the bread winner).
My sister is a total sap and there are never consequences for him and so, he continues.

Don't be like my sister.